
29 Products That'll Help You Get The Best Results Possible Without Having To Use Hardly Any Effort At All
We hope you love our recommendations! Some may have been sent as samples, but all were independently selected by our editors. Just FYI, BuzzFeed and its publishing partners may collect a share of sales and/or other compensation from the links on this page.
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Your energy has to be saved for more important things like...like...well, anything else.
1. The Pink Stuff cleaning paste — a miraculous problem-solver that can help you get rid of stains, streaks, gunk, and dirt from just about anything. I'm serious. That pan you don't use anymore because of all the caked-on food you couldn't remove? The Pink Stuff's got that covered. Literally. Try it on your stovetop, your sneakers, your walls, your toilet...you get the picture.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising reviews:"I need this in bulk!! I have tried so many cleaning solutions to get out hard cooking stains on my stove top and nothing worked! This stuff took it right out without a problem!!" — Micaela Gunderson
"I was trying to get adhesive off of drywall and nothing was working. THIS WORKS on everything! It easily took off the adhesive. Then I had Corningware with a stubborn stain; I had tried everything. Then I tried The Pink Stuff, and it easily removed the stubborn stain. I will now always keep this on hand!" — David C. Rein
Get it from Amazon for $5.97.
2. An oil-absorbing face roller made using absorbent volcanic stone that'll soak up any excess oil so you can have instantly matte skin. No more dabbing your face with a million small oil-blotting sheets.
Amazon, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I have super oily skin and am always looking for something to help control it during the day. The linen squares are good, but you have to keep them around (and keep replacing them), and they end up in the landfill. This little contraption really works, and I just rinse it at the end of the day and start over again the next. I kept one on my desk and bought a second for my purse. This is magic for my shiny skin, especially on camera in my hours of Zoom every day." — Jennifer Helseth
Get it from Amazon for $8.24.
3. A super smart (and cute) humidifier tank cleaner for keeping your humidifier mold and mildew free for up to 30 days. It's designed to kill up to 99% of odor-causing bacteria, which you need if your humidifier has been spewing out some smelly smells.
Promising review:"I LOVE these little fish. I've been using them for about 2.5 years now, and I truly believe they help keep the humidifier and water cleaner. People don't realize all the nasty mold and bacteria that can be growing in their humidifier and then released into the air in their room! I've noticed a huge difference in mold growth when I use these fish." — Shelly
Get it from Amazon for $5.98.
4. A pet hair remover so you'll be able to reclaim your couch from the mob of fur that's been calling it home in a few quick swipes. And because it doesn't use disposable adhesive strips, you can use this thing over and over and over and over and...
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I've had it in my possession for like two hours and I've cleaned everything. The couch, the blinds, the cat tree pad, the chair; I'm obsessed. I feel like this thing should win an award for being so awesome. I feel like it should be in raffle baskets and giveaways and silent auctions for every event that highlights 'things cat people need.' It's better than those sticky rollers, it's better than the one-directional velvet wand thing that I always use the wrong way. It's the best." — Meowser
Check out our ChomChom pet hair remover review for more deets!
Get it from Amazon for $24.99 (available in two colors).
5. A dog paw scrubber — just squeeze the bottle to unleash the antibacterial foaming formula within and get those dirty spots off Spot's paws. This is perfect for at-home and on-the-go use! Now, you don't have to worry about cleaning the floors after your pup tracks ickiness throughout your home.
Amazon, www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I wanted something that would clean my baby's paws after our walks because I didn't want germs or dirt coming into the house. It smells great, it works well, and I can see that the rubber part doesn't bother my doggy! It's super easy to use, and I use it to keep her paws clean and my house clean! 10/10, especially for the price point!" — Thia
Get it from Amazon for $6.24.
6. A John Frieda air-dry styling foam if you're trying to avoid using heat on your hair, but you still want perfect ringlets. This smooth and non-sticky foam will help grant your wish while also creating a barrier around each curl so they stay in perfect shape. Just apply to wet hair, scrunch, and let it air dry!
www.amazon.com
Reviewers with straighter hair types say the foam helps add voluminous waves to their hair, while those with thicker, wavier hair types say this helps add a bit more definition and shine.
Promising review: "I love that this product does not weigh down my hair. I put this product in my hair and there's no blow-drying needed. My hair is not sticky or crunchy. I totally recommend this product. Natural curls with no frizz" — 1Kittydog
Get it from Amazon for $9.10.
7. A stationary vacuum for easily grabbing every last speck of dust (unlike your dustpan), even the stubborn hairs and fibers stuck to your broom, without you having to work for it. Plus, it's got a dual filter that both removes dust molecules and returns clean air back into your home.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:" I usually don't write reviews. In fact, this may be my first review ever. But I just couldn't keep this to myself. I love this little thing. It's so powerful and has actually made sweeping a much less daunting task. I HIGHLY recommend this. Especially for those of you with hardwood floors and shedding pets. Buy it now!!" — Noalani H.
Get it from Amazon for $199 (available in five colors).
8. A bottle of Wet & Forget shower cleaner because you have never once had the desire to clean your tub, which likely means you haven't in quite some time. With this, you'll just spray it on, wait 8–12 hours, then rinse it off. Super easy!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I have well water. Something in my well water reacts with copper plumbing and turns my shower tiles blue. Since my bathroom color scheme isn't on the blue spectrum, this is problematic. The well water also causes the shower glass to film up quickly. I've tried dozens and dozens of cleaners and scrubbed 'til my arms ached, trying to get ahead of the blue and scumminess. My ambition in life is NOT to be a full-time bathroom scrubber! I saw this stuff on a professional house cleaner's TikTok (sorry, I don't remember which one) and thought, 'What the heck, might as well give it a try.' Oh my goodness, the first day after my shower, I sprayed this stuff all over and walked away. The next morning, there was a NOTICEABLE reduction in the blue, and the glass looked clearer, too. On day two, I sprayed again and walked away. The next morning, the blue was gone except for a few spots on the floor tile, and the glass looked amazing. On day three, I sprayed the remaining spots, and the next morning, the shower practically looked new. NO SCRUBBING AT ALL!!!! This is my new favorite shower cleaner. The ONLY con I have is that it makes me sneeze while I'm spraying from inside the shower, but I can live with that." — L. J. Petillo
Get it from Amazon for $19.39+ (available in two scents, two sizes, and in a pack of two).
9. And a multi-surface, bleach-free Wet & Forget outdoor cleaner to get rid of the moss, mold, mildew, and/or algae staining up your walkway. All you have to do is spray your outdoor surface and over time, the stains will be lifted away. No scrubbing required!
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I have a brick patio. When I bought this house, it was covered, and I mean covered with moss. A good power wash each spring was never enough to stop the moss from returning, and month after month during the summers was a struggle, man vs plant. I did that for two years, cursing and complaining the whole time. This April, I did my spring power wash as usual and immediately treated this patio. It is now going into August, and I have not had even a wisp of moss this year — I mean nothing! I would recommend this product without any reservations. When you put it on, you may think that it doesn't look like you really did much. It dries quick and looks the same as it did before, but wow, does it do exactly what it says it will do." — PM in NH
Get it from Amazon for $20.64.
10. A small reusable ball with a sticky insert that'll keep dirt and crumbs from littering the bottom of your purse. Now, you don't have to empty the contents of your purse just so you can get the nasties out. When the ball gets too full, just remove and rinse the insert, and you're good to go!
Amazon, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"This has to be one of the most amazing things I've ever purchased! I can't believe how easily it grabs all the debris that finds its way to the bottom of your bag." — QueenofGnomes
Get it from Amazon for $12.99 (available in five colors).
11. A Scrubbing Bubbles cleaning stamp since rings have been forming around the inside of your toilet. This will keep your toilet bowl fresh and clean with every flush. Just plop some gel inside the bowl and let it work so you don't have to.
Promising review:"I absolutely love these things! I have five kiddos. These gel stamps keep my toilet cleaner and fresher-smelling for longer, which is a definite plus with four boys. These have an easy, no-mess application. I finally just put them on my Subscribe & Save so I always have them ready." — Alyssa M
Get six stamps from Amazon for $9.30.
12. Five pairs of reusable magnetic lashes — just apply the included smudge-proof liner, and these lashes will magically (*ahem* magnetically) adhere to it! No need to mess around with sticky glue.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:" The easiest lashes to apply!! With traditional lashes, I really struggled because my hand wasn't as steady, and my eye would flutter while trying to put them on, but with the magnetic liner, the lashes just latch onto the liner with no problem once the liner is semi-dry. Definitely will buy a second set to have on deck. I recommend it for those who struggle with regular lashes!" — Tamara
Get them from Amazon for $18.99.
13. A pack of Bottle Bright cleaning tablets to take care of the tough stains and persistent odors living in your travel mugs and water bottles. The best part is, there's no scrubbing involved. So you get super clean gear with minimal effort!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"My tea mug was horrible: 'stainless' steel that was totally brown from tea. It's now shiny and silver again. I used it on my coffee mug and my gym water bottle as well, and they're all like new! Highly recommend and works super fast. No scent during or after use." — afK2
Get 12 tablets from Amazon for $7.99.
14. A Revlon hot air brush for drying, styling, AND adding volume to your hair in one fell swoop! Because why waste time blow-drying and then brushing your hair out? Plus! With this oval brush, you can say goodbye to tangles and frizz.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I took a chance on this product, and I'm happy I did. This is easily the best thing since sliced bread. Not only does it dry my hair, but it allows me to tame the cowlicks and volumize my hair at the same time. It is super easy to use (essentially brush and twirl). While I do use a conditioner with heat protection, this product has enough heat control that I never feel like I'm going to scorch my hair. The best part, I can dry and style my hair in five minutes. A big win for the lazy, low-maintenance girl." — Tamara Salazar
Get it from Amazon for $33.49+ (available in two styles and several colors).
15. A pack of K-Cup cleaners if you haven't cleaned your machine in a while and your coffee hasn't been tasting quite like coffee lately. Pop one of these nontoxic cups into your Keurig to give it the deep clean it's been needing.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:" I'm not typically the type to write a review, good or bad, but I had to for this one. Coffee from my Keurig had been tasting bad for a while; it was almost burnt tasting. These popped up on my Facebook page, and I decided to give them a try. I was not disappointed! I was surprised at how dirty my Keurig was! I did about five rounds last night before the water came out clear (one with the product and the rest just water). It was eye-opening. This morning, my coffee tasted smooth and perfect! So glad I got these, and I will definitely continue purchasing them as needed." — Vickie Saladino
Get a six-pack from Amazon for $9.95.
16. A Philips baby bottle warmer because waiting for a pot of water to boil so you can warm up a bottle is as tedious as it sounds. This will heat your milk or formula to the perfect temperature in as little as three minutes. Now, you don't have to waste time periodically testing baby's milk on your wrist (and potentially burning yourself in the process).
Amazon
Promising review: "Purchased three of these, two as gifts and one to use for our grandson's bottles at our home. The gift recipients love their bottle warmers, and so do we. They are super fast and temperature accurate, and so convenient and simple to use. They are even small enough to travel easily if need be. All three families highly recommend this product." — A happy customer!
Get it from Amazon for $47.99.
17. An electric self-stirring mug so you don't have to twirl your dainty and fragile wrist to stir your coffee or hot cocoa with a spoon. Just press a button and watch the contents of your mug swirl.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising reviews:"How lazy can we get that we can't even stir our drinks? Very. And it's great." — JohnnyCaps
"This automatic mixing cup has a very fast mixing speed, and the powder is mixed very evenly. The effect and taste amazed me! This magnetic mixing cup is not only suitable for mixing protein powder but also can easily handle various meal replacement shakes and coffee. Everything becomes simple and convenient." — Arthur V Kock
Get it from Amazon for $19.99 (available in four colors).
18. A pack of stain removal pads for getting rid of those pesky pet stains by simply setting the pad down and stepping on it. No scrubbing needed! They'll lift away even the most set-in stains!
www.amazon.com
Promising review: "I'm pretty sure there is magic in these. I have spent so many hours scrubbing at different spots on my area rugs (compliments of my dog's sensitive stomach) and there are still spots that just won't come clean. You literally lay these down, step on them for a few seconds, and walk away. I generally leave it for 24 hours, but I'm not sure if that's really necessary. The next day, you can see the stain on the pad, and the rug is spotless." — mmallia
Get 20 pads from Amazon for $27.48.
19. An Alexa-compatible iRobot Roomba that you can schedule to clean your floors so you don't have to. Its advanced sensors will help it learn to navigate your home so it can get under furniture and avoid falling down stairs. It also has multi-surface brushes to pick up dirt on carpet and hardwood floors. Clean smarter, not harder.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"This is a great little vacuum. It cleans really well, and the battery goes for a couple of hours. It always docks itself easily when done and never misses a spot in my 1,100-square-foot condo. It will go over rugs easily and fit under everything with no problem. I have two Maine Coons, and it does a great job of cleaning up their hair and any litter tracking. The drawer needs to be emptied every couple of days, but it's not a big deal for me. I have tile floors and carpet in the bedrooms. It cleans both well. It even cleans the litter mat in from of the litter box. This was well worth the money." — Renee
Get it from Amazon for $279.99.
20. A plant-based wrinkle-release spray because you don't wanna walk around looking like you just rolled out of bed...even if you did. And you don't wanna look like you're too lazy to iron...even if you are. Just spray, smooth, and tug!
www.amazon.com
Cold Iron is a small business offering you an ironing alternative!
Promising review:"This stuff works. Perfectly. Period. I spend six weeks in France every year, and everything I wear there is linen or viscose. I didn't iron once this summer. It works that well." — capucine
21. A pack of four Febreze air fresheners — these will keep your home from smelling like a post-game locker room without the need for outlets or batteries. Designed for small spaces, these air fresheners work hard so you don't have to. And they last up to 45 days!
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"I love it! The scent is mild and not overpowering, which is perfect for keeping rooms smelling fresh without being too strong. It's a great size for small spaces like bathrooms or closets, and the fresh scent lasts a long time. I also appreciate that it's easy to use—just pop it in place and let it do its job. Overall, this is a great product for anyone looking for a subtle, clean-smelling air freshener." — Belinda T
Get it from Amazon for $9.94 (available in various scents).
22. A Shark Tank- famous bug-bite suction tool for mosquito bite relief because you're excited about tank tops and short shorts but not the fact that you'll be exposed to some nasty bloodsuckers. It pretty much sucks the irritant out from under your skin so you can live an itch-free life.
Promising review:"This is absolutely amazing! It provides quick and effective relief for bug bites and bee or wasp stings without the need for chemicals. The suction design is easy to use and works to remove irritants, reducing itching and swelling almost immediately.
"I love that it's natural, portable, and reusable, making it perfect for outdoor adventures, camping, or just keeping handy at home. It's been a lifesaver for my family during mosquito season! Highly recommend this tool for anyone looking for a simple and effective solution to insect bites. A must-have!" — Josh Frazier
Get it from Amazon for $9.95+ (available in five colors and multipacks).
23. A grape cutter if grapes are your tot's fave snack, but it takes you forever to cut them up by hand. This will quickly slice grapes into quarters, so they're less of a hazard for your snacking tot. It's also safe enough for your tot to use (with your supervision, of course).
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising reviews: "LOVE it. It took three minutes to cut grapes that would have taken me at least 10. As a mom of a toddler, those minutes are precious. It was also fun and easy to use." — Jacqueline
"I wish I would've had this a LONG time ago. This little gadget has come in so handy. If you have a toddler or small child, you NEED this. It quarters grapes, cherry tomatoes, olives, etc., so they aren't choking hazards for little ones. So much faster than slicing every tiny grape up yourself. 10/10 would recommend." — Sara Waits
Get it from Amazon for $11.76.
24. A tall foldable poop scooper because why bend over to pick up your pup's poo if you simply don't have to? No thank you! Not only does this work on grass, concrete, dirt, and other surfaces, but you can also use it with just one hand.
Amazon
Promising review:"With five dogs, I needed something heavy-duty. Keeping the yard clean should not be back-breaking. This is a perfect height." — J Anderson
Get it from Amazon for $23.89+ (available in three colors).
25. A pair of eyeshadow color removal sponges that cleans your makeup brushes without water so you can go from applying a neon pink eyeshadow to a bright white eyeshadow without breaking out the makeup brush shampoo OR having to dirty another brush.
www.amazon.com, Amazon
Fellow BuzzFeed writer Jenae Sitzes is a fan of these sponges:
"I picked up this color removal sponge from Amazon after hearing about this hack on TikTok and can testify that it actually works SO well. I'm *so* bad about cleaning my brushes (I know...shameful), and this makes it super easy to clean a brush in a matter of seconds. So, even if I'm trying to do a *slightly* more elaborate eyeshadow look for the day, this makes the process of switching colors as quick and painless as possible. Also, it's *super* lightweight, and I've already tossed it in my bag and brought it on vacation with me. This is one of those products I won't be traveling without in the future if I plan on doing eyeshadow at any point — and it means you only need to pack one or two eyeshadow brushes!"
Promising review: "This product makes it even easier for me to be lazy when it comes to cleaning my brushes. It also allows me to use the same brush for a makeup look since I can swish away a previous shadow and move on to the next. Great buy. Super easy to wash." — Azaleah Bumpus-Barnett
Get it from Amazon for $6.99.
26. Packs of ready-to-use fruit fly traps for luring and killing the fruit flies trying to take over your home. Each trap lasts for up to 45 days, so place them near fruit bowls, trash cans, kitchen counters, and sinks — anywhere it seems those annoying pests are breeding.
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"We've had an annoying infestation of fruit flies this spring and couldn't figure out how to eradicate them. We tried these traps out of desperation, and they worked! The 'juice' bait smells like vinegar when you directly sniff it but is not otherwise noticeable. Dozens of deceased flies can be seen through the clear plastic window. Highly recommended." — Lewis W.
Get two packs of two traps (four total) from Amazon for $13.23 (also available in larger pack sizes).
27. A brilliant veggie chopper with a built-in tray so you don't have to deal with the mess of a cutting board. So go ahead and dice and slice veggies to your heart's content and stop wasting time (and tears) chopping onions by hand.
www.amazon.com, www.amazon.com
Promising review:"This is one of my absolute favorite kitchen tools! This is right up there with my stand mixer. I save hours a week using this for dinner prep. I HATE cutting up veggies for dinner, and this makes it fast and fun! I can't believe I didn't buy one years ago. This is worth every penny. Easy to use, and I can just throw it in my dishwasher for clean up. I'm obsessed. I will be buying these as gifts. This is an absolute must-have for everyone." — Reviewer
Get it from Amazon for $22.99+ (available in five sizes and four colors).
28. An electric lighter because those cheap matches you've had for eons never actually catch fire. Now you can easily light your candles (and joints) without dealing with the frustration of matches literally snapping in half. It's rechargeable and has an auto-off function.
www.amazon.com
Promising review:"We love to have scented candles burning throughout the year and got tired of having to replace the gas lighters. This lighter is absolutely incredible. It has paid for itself several times by not having to replace lighters. Not only that, it's safer to have around the house compared to an open flame lighter." — Nathan
Get it from Amazon for $9.99+ (available in six colors).
29. An eyeliner stamp — now you don't have to trial-and-error your way to the perfect cat eye. This smudge-proof and waterproof formula will keep you looking fierce all day long.
www.amazon.com
Lovoir Beauty is a small biz based in New Zealand!
Promising review:"I don't wear makeup because I pretty much don't know how to...I thought I'd give this a go because I have no skills and can't do a cat-eye to save my life. But I was able to do this on the first try! I really thought it was going to take a while to get the hang of things, but it didn't! Truly amazing, and it stays on all day and comes off easily! Love, love, love!" — Ilana

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It's also absolutely okay if it's complicated, but sometimes it is better to cut ties with abusers or toxic people. I think it can be healthy to be no or low-contact, and it can protect partners and future children. It takes a lot of strength to break cycles." —Anonymous, 32; California 7."It's not toxic to have never dated someone before. Like, they're waiting for the truly right person to date." —Anonymous, 20; South Carolina 8."When people always respond with 'What do YOU want to do?' People find it weirdly annoying, but I think it just means they care about how you feel. I don't like it when people are like, 'What do you want to do?' 'Oh, I was thinking ice skating, then lunch at this restaurant, then a museum…' That just feels like they've been creepily putting this whole date together for months. No, thank you." —Anonymous 9."Not responding to texts quickly. My bf was sooooo slow to respond to texts when we first exchanged numbers. I thought he wasn't interested, but it turned out that he was not a very tech-savvy guy and had no interest in his phone. This makes dates great as we can converse for hours on end and away from screens. Our interactions are always genuine, and he's so thoughtful!" —Anonymous, 16; Oklahoma 10."Having girl friends as a man. It's not a red flag. It actually tells me women feel safe around you, and you can build a relationship with a woman other than a romantic one. So that means you don't see women only as objects for your pleasure. You actually see them as human beings you can interact with just like you do with other men." —Anonymous, 22; Romania 11."Not telling someone their WHOLE life story. The older I get, there are things people keep to themselves for a reason. Doesn't mean they don't trust you or you can't trust them. If it's significant enough, it will reveal itself. I am not going to force someone I am with to tell me everything if they're not comfortable doing so. That being said, if you don't communicate what is important to you for them to share about themselves, that is all on you." —witchysorcerer621 12."Not being a self-proclaimed nice guy. This might be specific to my relationship, but he straight up told me he was 'kind of an a**hole' on our first date and said he wasn't good with emotions. It was refreshing as hell, coming from seemingly endless dates with self-professed 'nice guys' who were anything but. Turns out he's not an asshole at all, and he's pretty damn good with emotions now. That first date was 15 years ago." —rakishrogue 13."A guy cooking, cleaning, and being able to do stereotypically 'female' stuff." —Anonymous, Maddi, USA 26 14."Being upfront about dating other people. It might seem like a red flag at first, but it's actually a green one. Honesty about where you stand shows emotional maturity and respect. It also sets the stage for clear communication when the time comes to discuss exclusivity — if and when both people are ready for that step." —Anonymous, 37; Mexico "On a blind or first date: I am totally OJ with small talk. People have all sorts of different levels and experiences when it comes to meeting with a person for the first time. Being nervous is OK, and not knowing what to say is OK." —sparklysalt40 Have examples of your own where a perceived red flag is actually a green flag? Let us know in the comments or through the anonymous form below!


Buzz Feed
a day ago
- Buzz Feed
15 Relationship Red Flags That Are Huge Green Flags
Red flag this, green flag that. When dating, people have so many characteristics they look for in a partner. Or more truthfully, traits they try to avoid. Sometimes, though, one person's red flag is another person's green flag. We asked the BuzzFeed Community for examples of things that, when dating, some might see as a reason for pause, but they see as a good thing. The responses were fascinating: "Not having social media. I have heard (and read on BuzzFeed) that 'not having any social media is a huge red flag for me.' WHY?! HOW?! So you're upset that you don't have to police their Instagram, Facebook/Messenger, TikTok, Snapchat, etc? My partner of six years only has Snapchat and literally has like 25 friends. They are 99% friends I have met, have mutual friends with, or are his family. It's a HUGE green flag that they don't give a crap about social media and what others think about his life/our life. It's OUR life, so why should anyone expect to see into it if you're not invited? I have social media only because it's how I communicate with family. He has full access, and I have full access to his phone, etc. Why? Because we trust each other. It's so nice having a partner who doesn't give a fuck about what others think of him as much as I don't give a fuck. If you think it's a red flag, you need to ask yourself why." —Anonymous, 36; Tennessee "Having a quirky or weird interest. That does not automatically make someone a weirdo or obsessive. For example, my husband has ADHD and tends to get very interested in a hobby or topic quickly and loves to geek out about it. Some of his interests are kind of out there. For example, he's 27 and LOVES Disney (especially the parks and movies), LOVES gardening, LOVES caring for our bearded dragon, LOVES working on his tank, and LOVES improving his life quality. A lot of other girls in college thought he was weird for his niche and intense interests, especially because he can be kind of shy and quiet. I was the only girl who gave him a chance. And I won the jackpot! He's caring, romantic, respects me, takes great care of me and our home, and he's wicked smart. Sure, he's quirky. Sure, he doesn't have typical 'masculine' hobbies. But he's a great guy, and I wish more people saw more for him than his quirks." "Not doing surprise gifts, dates, etc. Spontaneity and big gestures are highly romanticized, but they can often set both parties up for disappointment or unrealistic expectations. Communicating and involving your partner instead is a green flag for me. My partner and I like to discuss and plan fun ideas together. We go shopping for gifts together as well, so we get to pick out exactly what we like. It's so much more fun, and there is less pressure to like a gift or hope they like a gift. (And wastes less money)." —Anonymous, 30; Canada "Inserting himself into my college life. We currently go to different colleges, but he makes the effort to see me at my college because he wants to get to know my friends and new interests I've picked up. It's so, when I talk, he knows how to contribute to our conversations in a way that he understands what and who I'm talking about. Some people may see it as signs of insecurity or jealousy, but he truly wants to see the way I've been growing as a person now that I'm in college." "Online gaming. I've dated a couple of people I've met through online gaming. I know people tend to think that's a bad thing (to game a lot), but it requires communication and planning skills, especially when their gaming group includes people around the world." —Anonymous, 39; Phoenix, AZ "Not being close to their parents. It's great if your family is close. It's also absolutely okay if it's complicated, but sometimes it is better to cut ties with abusers or toxic people. I think it can be healthy to be no or low-contact, and it can protect partners and future children. It takes a lot of strength to break cycles." "It's not toxic to have never dated someone before. Like, they're waiting for the truly right person to date." —Anonymous, 20; South Carolina "When people always respond with 'What do YOU want to do?' People find it weirdly annoying, but I think it just means they care about how you feel. I don't like it when people are like, 'What do you want to do?' 'Oh, I was thinking ice skating, then lunch at this restaurant, then a museum…' That just feels like they've been creepily putting this whole date together for months. No, thank you." "Not responding to texts quickly. My bf was sooooo slow to respond to texts when we first exchanged numbers. I thought he wasn't interested, but it turned out that he was not a very tech-savvy guy and had no interest in his phone. This makes dates great as we can converse for hours on end and away from screens. Our interactions are always genuine, and he's so thoughtful!" —Anonymous, 16; Oklahoma "Having girl friends as a man. It's not a red flag. It actually tells me women feel safe around you, and you can build a relationship with a woman other than a romantic one. So that means you don't see women only as objects for your pleasure. You actually see them as human beings you can interact with just like you do with other men." "Not telling someone their WHOLE life story. The older I get, there are things people keep to themselves for a reason. Doesn't mean they don't trust you or you can't trust them. If it's significant enough, it will reveal itself. I am not going to force someone I am with to tell me everything if they're not comfortable doing so. That being said, if you don't communicate what is important to you for them to share about themselves, that is all on you." —witchysorcerer621 "Not being a self-proclaimed nice guy. This might be specific to my relationship, but he straight up told me he was 'kind of an a**hole' on our first date and said he wasn't good with emotions. It was refreshing as hell, coming from seemingly endless dates with self-professed 'nice guys' who were anything but. Turns out he's not an asshole at all, and he's pretty damn good with emotions now. That first date was 15 years ago." "A guy cooking, cleaning, and being able to do stereotypically 'female' stuff." —Anonymous, Maddi, USA 26 "Being upfront about dating other people. It might seem like a red flag at first, but it's actually a green one. Honesty about where you stand shows emotional maturity and respect. It also sets the stage for clear communication when the time comes to discuss exclusivity — if and when both people are ready for that step." Finally, "On a blind or first date: I am totally OJ with small talk. People have all sorts of different levels and experiences when it comes to meeting with a person for the first time. Being nervous is OK, and not knowing what to say is OK." —sparklysalt40 Have examples of your own where a perceived red flag is actually a green flag? Let us know in the comments or through the anonymous form below!