
From excuse to excellence
'If you want to feed a person for a day give him a fish, if you wish to feed him for a lifetime, teach him how to fish.' Dr Ajit Varwandkar is a Career Psychologist and a Thought process Transformation Expert by profession. He is working on enhancing employability through career guidance and training. Just capacity development is not his motto; enabling youth is the intent. He started his career as a mechanical engineer and eventually went into clinical psychology, management and doctoral research. He is an avid trainer of Thought Engineering for corporate and educational institutes. He is a music lover and plays the Indian classical percussion instrument – Tabla. He is the author of the book Think Success and Be Successful. He loves to write inspirational blogs on self-improvement and career development issues. He believes in living life at zero complaint level and is always keen to focus on solutions than on excuses. LESS ... MORE
What if I told you that everything you achieve in life, your happiness, relationships, and success is a direct reflection of your thoughts? How would you react?
It's true—your thoughts are the architects of your reality. The quality of your life hinges not just on what you think, but also on what you choose to tolerate, and more importantly, on what you consciously decide not to think about.
In my journey as a coach and observer of life, I've seen people who don't just live with excuses, they embrace them. These are the ones who settle into mediocrity, or worse, spiral down into chronic failure. Laddu Pinto was one such man. He had big dreams, but his life was stuck in a loop of poor choices and constant justifications.
When I met Laddu, I made a simple suggestion: 'Stop tolerating substandard thinking.' That one piece of advice struck a deep chord in him. That very moment, he made a life-altering decision; he resolved that anything less than his dream destination was simply unacceptable. And friends, I want you to know that from that day forward, Laddu began a complete transformation. Within eight years, he built a life most only dream of.
You see, success isn't an external event – it's an internal decision.
Look around your social circle. You'll find numerous people who've overcome challenges simply through the power of elevated thinking. They didn't have more resources or better luck; they had better thoughts.
And yet, what pains me is how many people quietly convince themselves that they're not meant for greatness. Deep down, they know they deserve more. But still, they settle. They create ceilings for themselves, and then decorate those ceilings with excuses.
Let me share a truth I've learned: Most people don't fail because of a lack of talent or opportunity. They fail because they've accepted that they don't deserve more than what they already have. They shrink their dreams to fit their self-doubt. If you're one of those people who has ever settled for less – ask yourself, Why?
The secret to breaking free lies in your willingness to demand more from yourself. Set non-negotiable standards. Adopt a discipline that becomes your DNA and not just a box you tick on your to-do list. Success is not a matter of chance, but a matter of choice backed by commitment.
I recall another story: a man who wanted to regain his fitness. He consulted a professional coach, paid the fees, got a perfect plan, and… nothing happened. Three months later, he looked the same, except for a lighter wallet.
His problem wasn't the plan. It wasn't even a lack of effort. His real downfall was the way he spoke to himself. 'It's okay,' he'd say, 'Diseases are a part of life. I'm just not the kind of person who can be fit again.' That inner dialogue became his reality.
This is not just his story, it's the story of countless entrepreneurs, dreamers, and students who want big things but don't believe they can achieve them. Their own minds stop them long before the world ever does.
Friends, if you truly want to transform your life, don't start by changing your actions; rather, start by changing your thoughts. Don't just hope to succeed, decide that you will. And when you do, your journey will begin to align with your destiny.
Facebook Twitter Linkedin Email Disclaimer
Views expressed above are the author's own.

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


India Today
2 hours ago
- India Today
Indian engineer, 29, dies during scuba diving session in Dubai
A 29-year-old Indian engineer has died during a scuba diving session in Dubai's Jumeirah Beach while spending the Eid al-Adha holiday with his family, Khaleej Times victim, Issac Paul Olakkengil, belonged to Kerala and had suffered a cardiac arrest after experiencing difficulty breathing underwater on Friday. according to his relative. Isaac was an engineer based in the incident occurred during a training session at a designated scuba diving area in Dubai, said Isaac's uncle, David Pyarilos, who's assisting the family with the legal "They were participating in a beginners' training session when Issac began to struggle with his breathing and drifted away from the rest of the group," he was immediately pulled out of the war and rushed to a nearby hospital, but he died."We are currently coordinating with the relevant authorities to complete the documentation needed for the repatriation of his body," Pyarilos was quoted by Khaleej Times as Reel IN THIS STORY#Kerala


Hans India
3 hours ago
- Hans India
NEST OF NEW BEGINNINGS
It's my turn now—to feel the sky, to chase the winds and learn to fly. I need my space, my voice, my time— A nest that's shaped by hands of mine, whispered the fledgling. No wings remain, yet the warmth stays on— And I cherish the space to breathe—not what's gone, but what lives on, Replied the nest that set it free with good tidings. 'Empty nest syndrome,' increasingly affecting families worldwide with children leaving parental homes for education, work or marriage, assumes greater significance in India where joint families have been the norm for generations. The transition from a multi-generational home to a quieter space comes with emotional challenges associated with cultural expectations, family unity, and support. As more Indian families move towards nuclear living, questions are being raised about coping mechanisms and the evolving nature of family life in modern India. Globalisation and Western cultural influences have undoubtedly changed family dynamics. Women gaining financial independence and pursuing their dream careers have only increased the feasibility and appeal of nuclear households. As patriarchy is being challenged across the spectrum, young Indians have begun to feel that nuclear homes provide a more balanced opportunity to maintain ties with both sets of parents, thereby subtly challenging traditional norms of allegiance to the husband's family. There is also a noticeable shift in the younger generation, particularly from affluent families, who experience peer pressure to be independent. Consequently, they are moving out of palatial ancestral homes—a move that is increasingly being viewed as a marker of success, autonomy, and modernity. Starting nuclear homes and carving out one's space reflects a generational desire for self-definition and seems to be the new cool. While this evolution brings greater freedom and flexibility, it also raises questions about the erosion of traditional support systems, elder care, and intergenerational bonding. This can only be achieved through a balance between the old setup and the new reality. Rising life expectancy, with seniors over 50 set to be around 20% of the total population by 2041, is paradoxically making India a young country but a rapidly ageing one at the same time. Most people experience a sense of vacantness, a lack of purpose, and the feeling that all the pressures of decades were a futile exercise when the kids leave. Feeling a sense of loss when children leave home is natural, but if it lingers and disrupts daily life, it is a case of 'empty nest syndrome' or severe depression, according to therapists treating an increasing number of people affected by it. 'Living separately from your children can reduce the power struggle in family dynamics and make room for more support, fun, and friendship,' is the advice given to most people seeking therapy. Like every stage in life, 'empty nests' provide tremendous opportunity for personal and spiritual growth. Continuing with professional work, rediscovering self-care related to the body, mind, and spirit, pursuing new hobbies, and acquiring skills that keep one's spirit of enquiry and curiosity alive are imperative in this state. A life of service to others has been inherent to Indian civilisation and is the best antidote to feelings of depression and alienation. Solitude is a positive attribute as opposed to loneliness gripping the young and old—and empty nesters—with equal intensity. Empty nests are not desolate places. They are just places with fewer inhabitants, who will still be there when you need them. Living a life of purpose and embracing the mindset of an eternal student can infuse our homes—our nests—with life energy and positivity throughout life's odyssey.


Hans India
3 hours ago
- Hans India
A monumental anthology on Indian transgenders
Dr. Dipak Giri, author and editor from West Bengal, is an acclaimed name in the field of academic writing. He has edited many scholarly books which have earned him global fame and recognition. 'Transgender in Indian Context: Rights and Activism' is one such invaluable book that has flowed from his pen. Published by AABS Publishing House, Kolkata, the book is curated with twenty well-explored articles. Prof. Goutam Ghosai, Dept. of English, Visva-Bharati, Santiniketan, has rightly opined in the foreword: 'There was a time when the transsexuals were regarded as abominable beings in most feminist and gay or lesbian discourses. Today, there is arising a growing need in the transsexual people, as they have acquired the more sophisticated name transgender, to articulate new subjectivisation of the self that truly expresses the reality of transgender crises. In this context, Giri's book, which is a collection of essays by expert hands, will be quite useful both as a humanitarian statement demanding serious attention in society and also as a reference text in the humanities departments' (8). The articles in the book are introduced beautifully by Dr. Giri in his 'Introduction.' He defines the term 'Transgender' thoroughly, explaining how they are differently named across countries and cultures. Dr. Giri portrays the grim reality of transgender lives in India: 'In present India, transgenders are subject to daily abuse and humiliation. The lot of most transgenders in India is begging. Along with begging, many are also forced to involve into the practice of prostitution… HIV and other diseases are an ordeal among them. Abandoned by sickness and oldness, they are forced to addiction of liquor and drugs and even sometimes to commit suicide' (15). Some of the articles in this anthology explore the difficult lives and experiences of transpersons in India through their autobiographies and biographies, such as A. Revathi's 'Truth about Me: A Hijra Life Story', Laxmi Narayan Tripathi's 'Red Lipstick: The Men in My Life', Manobi Bandyopadhyay's 'A Gift of Goddess Lakshmi', and Living Smile Vidya's 'I am Vidya: A Transgender's Journey', to name a few. Other articles analyze the depiction of transgender issues in mainstream Indian literature, including novels and plays like Devdutt Pattanaik's 'The Pregnant King', Kavita Sinha's 'Pourush', Arundhati Roy's 'The Ministry of Utmost Happiness', and Mahesh Dattani's renowned play 'Seven Steps around the Fire'. The book also discusses Indian trans cinema such as Ranjith Sankar's 'Njan Marykutty', Rituparno Ghosh's 'Chitrangada', and Santhosh Sowparnika's 'Ardhanari'. In addition, it brings to light the transgender community's role and identity in ancient Hindu mythology, their educational and socio-economic challenges, and their current constitutional rights. In a word, this anthology is a gem in the field of transgender studies in the Indian context and is highly recommended as a reference book for libraries of colleges and universities in India and abroad. (Prof. Dr. K. V. Dominic is an eminent Indian poet, short story writer, editor, and critic, writing in English.)