Author Andaleeb Wajid reflects on love, loss and healing in her new memoir Learning to Make Tea for One
The event featured a conversation between Andaleeb and journalist Shrabonthi Bagchi during which the author read excerpts from the book and discussed her writing process. 'I lost my husband Mansoor, and mother-in-law during COVID-19. When you move on from sad memories, the pain begins to fade, but I wanted to hold onto it. There were so many things about my relationship with both of them which I wanted to keep alive.'
Author of over 50 novels, Andaleeb shares that she began writing this book by reliving each memory and writing them down. 'It was a very painful process. I used to dread each time I had to open the document and add to the manuscript. I couldn't focus on it all the time, so I kept taking breaks and even worked on other stories simultaneously.'
For the longest time, no one in her family knew that Andaleeb was writing a book on her journey of grief. 'But I wanted to somehow navigate through this without breaking down all the time, without giving up. I realised that there are so many patterns that one needs to break while you're grieving,.' she says.
Tea time rituals
The title of the book itself was a new habit Andaleeb struggled to develop after the passing of her loved ones. 'Though I didn't have a tea-time ritual with the both of them, every evening I would make tea for the three of us and that had become my default action — to always measure for three cups of tea. When I went back home for the first time after they had passed, I automatically began preparing tea like before, before I stopped and realised I wouldn't do this ever again — that I'd be making tea only for myself now on.'
She added that writing this book helped her overcome grief and push forward in life. 'I've always been instinctive about writing; it provided me with a sense of control. When I write, I find a space to clear my thoughts about my life's experiences.'
She said, 'I hope readers acknowledge their grief as they read this book. Over the years, I've learnt that no one really wants to talk about it, but I hope the book helps.'
Learning to Make Tea for One is available online on Amazon and Speaking Tiger websites. The book is also available offline in bookstores for ₹499
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