EXCLUSIVE Relationship expert details the shocking realities of ethical non-monogamy

Daily Mail​

11-05-2025

Data shows that more than 20 percent of Americans have been in some sort of non-monogamous or open relationship at some point in their lives.
So if one-fifth of the country is taking part in this kind of non-traditional relationship, why is 'ethical non-monogamy' so frowned upon?
In a nation that seems to be becoming more and more polarized, Amanda Wilson - co-founder of the #Open app - says that the key to bridging this understanding is to have conversations.
And that's exactly what she did.
Wilson is an executive producer to the film titled OPEN - a documentary that follows the different stories of Americans in open relationships.
But in interviews that included more than 100 hours and spanned across farther than 40,000 miles, Wilson wanted to do more than just highlight ethically non-monogamous people - she wanted to center women.
'Women are trending up and we're doing things different,' Wilson told the DailyMail.com.
'So, that means that we're choosing to do relationships differently.'
And rather than simply conforming to mainstream ideas of what their love and sex lives should look like, Wilson said that women are starting to take advantage of their bodily autonomy.
A big part of tackling this is examining the shame that they have been conditioned to have.
'Unfortunately, society has has raised us [into] thinking that there is shame in pleasure and specifically shame in women seeking pleasure,' she said.
'So when we take out the shame, that is when women especially can find their true identity, find what makes them happy, find what kind of kinks and interests it is that they may have.'
And for some women, this happens through ethical non-monogamy - and there are many different ways to lean into the practice.
There's polyamory, swinging, throuples, polyfidelity, and much more.
Wilson explained that when people choose to be in these kinds of relationships, they find themselves on a journey to self-growth.
'The thing with people that are in this lifestyle is they're going to challenge jealousy and codependency right from the beginning,' she said. 'And they know that that is a process.'
'That's something that we are always working on and, and need to work on, but trying to kind of hide behind the, the veil of monogamy, I think, gives people kind of an out [of having] to work on their issues.'
But that doesn't mean Wilson is anti-monogamy. In fact, she thinks that one of the most damaging stereotypes of people in open relationships is that they're against monogamy.
'We're not against monogamy,' she said. 'I think monogamy is great and beautiful and wonderful... for two people that have sat down and chosen that relationship style.'
For those who don't believe that one person can fulfill all of their romantic, sexual, or companionship needs, she wants to raise awareness about ethical non-monogamy and its prevalence so that they know they don't have limit themselves - even if the world encourages them to.
OPEN isn't about giving raunchy details about people who are sleeping with multiple people.
'People that are in the lifestyle, they're also just looking for community,' Wilson explained.
'It is so little about sex and dating and so much more about just finding people that you can be yourself with.'
Wilson said she hopes that with this film, she can tackle some of the other unfair stigmas ethically non-monogamous people face.
She explained that a majority of monogamous people who were asked about ethical non-monogamy said that they were 'disgusted' by people who practiced the lifestyle.
And they often believed damaging stereotypes about polyamorous people, for example, including that they don't have good hygiene.
But she doesn't think that just showing their stories alone will challenge these ideas - this is why Wilson also opted to include therapists, sociologists, and researchers in 'OPEN'.
Therapists in particular were important to Wilson to include, mostly because of the bad experiences ethically non-monogamous people have had with mental health experts.
Those who aren't understanding of the relationship practice often end up invalidating other's experiences or encouraging them to end their relationships.
Meanwhile, the issues in their relationships or personal lives aren't a result of their lifestyle, but rather the same very-human things that plague anyone else.
By including a wide array of different voices, Wilson and her team hope that those who are interested in the lifestyle know that it isn't as taboo as they think.
And she believes that the youth will spearhead the movement.
'I think the younger generation... they've they've seen their parents, they they've seen divorce, they've seen their friends' parents get divorced and they're not convinced that monogamy is the only answer,' Wilson said.
'And they're looking for for different choices.
'So we need to to get the word out there that there are ways to do things differently.'
Wilson said that now is as good a time as any to get this message across - especially considering how divided the nation is.
'[Ethical non-monogamy] is still not something that is recognized or protected or just generally accepted,' she said.
'So we need to do our work to] get the word out and get the information out and continue to organize and push back, because we are we are going to be facing challenges in the coming years.'