A Purple Heart vet who self-deported to Korea says he feels his PTSD is now worse
Sae Joon Park, 55, a green-card holder who served in the Army more than 30 years ago, says he was told to leave the U.S. because of old charges related to drug possession and bail jumping, or a failure to return to court. Park said the offenses trace back to the difficulty he once had dealing with his then-undiagnosed PTSD.
'It just comes out of nowhere. I'll be walking around just thinking about something, I'll just start bawling, just crying nonstop. And I have no control over that,' Park told NBC News from Seoul of his PTSD. 'I've been dealing with it the best I can everyday.'
Park, a longtime Hawaii resident, said that for years, he attended annual check-ins with Immigration and Customs Enforcement after being served the removal order over a decade ago. However, in early June, during what he assumed was a regular check-in, ICE agents gave him an ankle monitor and told him that he would face detention and deportation if he failed to leave within three weeks. So Park, hoping to spare his family from further stress, booked a ticket back to his home country.
Neither ICE nor the Veterans Affairs Department immediately responded to NBC News' request for comment.
In 1989, Park, then-19 years old, joined the armed forces to gain some direction in life, he said. After being deployed to Panama, he was struck by gunfire one day while eating lunch with his platoon, he said. He was eventually evacuated to a military hospital in San Antonio.
Park, who was honorably discharged, received a Purple Heart upon returning to the U.S. He said that the physical recovery process took a few months, but the mental toll lingered. And he wasn't quite sure what his symptoms meant.
'I would have a lot of nightmares, with loud noises, I can't watch movies. And being a tough guy, a young kid, I didn't know who to turn to. I didn't know who to tell,' he said. 'I would have to try to find my own ways to deal with it without even sharing it with anyone.'
Still, Park said, he's proud of his military service.
'I don't regret joining at all, even getting shot and everything,' he said. 'I do feel that was part of my life story, and it is what made me who I am today.'
He says that the new environment, along with being separated from his children and elderly mother, has been difficult on him. And he thinks it's triggered PTSD symptoms that first developed in the military.
Park said he's been staying in an Airbnb rental since he arrived in Korea. His two children, who are in their 20s and live in the U.S., check up on him daily. And relatives help him regularly communicate with his mother, who is 85 and was recently diagnosed with dementia.
Park said he spent time in Korea as a child and still has family members there, but he does have trouble with the language and daily tasks.
He said he's also dealing with what he feels is shame associated with being deported. It's why, Park said, despite his family members in Korea offering to help and expressing excitement to see him, he's been largely keeping to himself.
'I don't want my family to know I got kicked out of the country. … I don't know how they're going to react to that. I don't know if I'm putting anybody to shame being that they're my family members,' he said. 'That's a big part of why I've been avoiding everyone.'
After his military service, Park said he turned to drugs to cope with the mental anguish he was dealing with. Eventually, law enforcement arrested him in New York for possession. Park, who pleaded guilty in 2007, did not comply with the conditions of the treatment program in his plea agreement and failed to return to court, leading to a bail-jumping charge. Park went to prison in 2009, serving three years, and was given an order of removal upon his release.
'When you really hit rock bottom, it's so easy to stay sober and quit, which was after I got incarcerated at 40 years old, going to prison, losing my family, losing everything,' he said. 'I started praying every day.'
Park also said he was finally diagnosed with PTSD in his 40s, after the Veteran Affairs Department made a check-in call. It was life-changing, he said.
'They reached out to me, questioning me about how I'm doing, and they brought me in and did some tests, and finally realized I don't just have PTSD, I'm maxed out,' he said. 'That's when disability started kicking in, and more help started coming my way.'
Park's attorney, Danicole Ramos, said that while the possession of a controlled substance is no longer a deportable offense due to a 2023 decision by 2nd Circuit Court of Appeals, Park's bail jumping conviction is still considered an 'aggravated felony,' making it difficult to reopen his immigration case and fight to vacate his removal order.
Ramos said he's still hopeful that Park can return to the U.S. The two are calling on the Queens County District Attorney's Office in New York to reopen Park's criminal case and drop the convictions.
'I'm very hopeful. It's one day at a time,' Park said. 'Hopefully I can get back to my family or even have a good life again.'
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