Mandira Bedi opens up on losing husband Raj Kaushal at 49, how she chooses not to mark his death anniversary: ‘What is to remember on that day?'

Indian Express

12-05-2025

'With grief there aren't any shortcuts. You have to go through it,' Mandira Bedi said as she recalled her late husband, director and producer Raj Kaushal. In a recent interaction, Mandira opened up about how she coped with her husband's sudden death at the age of 50, after he suffered a heart attack. She admitted that while the first year after his passing was incredibly hard, she and their kids — son Vir and daughter Tara — slowly learned to cope with the loss.
Speaking on the YouTube channel The Full Circle, she said, 'The first year after Raj's death was the first of everything – birthday, anniversary, Diwali – they were all very hard. The first of everything is a time when you want to sit in your room, don't want to talk to anyone and just cry and cry till you can't cry anymore.'
Mandira shared that since they adopted daughter Tara just 8-9 months before Raj's death, she had known him for only a short while. However, his death affected their son Vir deeply, as he had been very close to his father and was heartbroken after the loss. 'Vir would cry and I never once told him not to cry. 'Boys don't cry' that is crap. I told him cry as much as he wants and let it out,' she said. Mandira explained that she wanted him to release those emotions so that they could eventually remember Raj with joy.
Mandira also shared that she chose not to observe her husband's death anniversary as a sad occasion. 'I did a one-month puja, one-year puja and all other rituals. After the one-year puja, I decided we will not mark this day… what is there to remember in this day… it's a sad day in our lives.'
Instead, she created a tradition of celebrating his birthday each year with friends and family, choosing to remember him fondly. She said, 'On his birthday every year, I organise a puja followed by a lunch and I call all his friends. The lunch has Raj's favourite foods. It's the kind of Sunday afternoon lunch we loved. This is our way to celebrate him. His legacy is the lives he touched. We have reached a stage where we laugh and remember him well.'
She added, 'I remember his death anniversary and I feel sad on that day but I don't want my kids to remember it.' Mandira also revealed that every day since Raj's passing, she says a prayer to him, thanking him for his legacy, their children, and the home that they live in. She also apologises to him for 'all the hard times' in their marriage and thanks him for setting up the systems in place that still continue today.