My husband's openly gay but we still have a great sex life – people are confused but it works & we're trying for a baby

The Irish Sun

31-07-2025

HEADING off stage Samantha Greenstone beamed with delight.
She'd just auditioned for a part in Fiddler on the Roof and it had gone excellently but if the directors had any doubts, she had already secured one fan.
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Samantha and Jacob Greenstone are in a mixed orientation marriage
Credit: Bauer
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The pair say that they enjoy a healthy sex life together
Credit: Bauer
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While Jacob is attracted to men he says Samantha is his soulmate
Credit: Bauer
'A fellow actor approached and told me that if I didn't get the part they were crazy,' Samantha, 38, recalls.
'He introduced himself as Jacob and we wished each other luck.
'
Not long after Samantha received the news she was hoping for, she had secured the part and much to her delight so had Jacob.
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A month later they began
'A few days into rehearsals, we went out for drinks with another cast member,' Samantha says.
'While they headed off after a couple of rounds, Jacob and I kept chatting till 4am, and he ended up sleeping on my sofa.
'From then on, we hung out whenever we could, grabbing dinner or going to the gym.
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'Jacob told me he was
But while Samantha was secure in their friendship it seems others were less so.
I'm much taller than my 5ft husband - people think he's my son and say he's not a 'real man' but we have the best sex ever
'Friends would ask if we were dating,' Samantha says.
'I knew we had something special but I wasn't sure what.
'Jacob and I never wanted to be apart from each other, even sleeping in the same bed after nights out.
'And something between us just didn't feel like a normal friendship but I just assumed I must have misinterpreted things.'
After 18 months as best pals Samantha visited an energy healer for advice on her relationship with Jacob.
'She told me the two of us shared a 'spiritual umbilical cord',' Samantha says.
'With that, everything clicked into place for me.
'I didn't want to live with the uncertainty any more, and I was sure that, come what may, our friendship was strong enough to survive.'
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Samantha says that she has never felt more desirable than when she is with Jacob
Credit: Bauer
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Jacob says he is not bisexual and is only attracted to oher men
Credit: Bauer
Samantha plucked up the courage and sent Jacob a text asking whether he felt anything more than friendship for her.
'A few minutes later he replied telling me that of course he felt more than friendship and he was willing to see where this went,' Samantha says.
'I was as giddy as a teenager.'
That weekend, Jacob and Samantha were both due to attend a friend's birthday party.
'When I saw him at the party, it wasn't awkward at all, and afterwards we headed back to my place,' she says.
'We were watching a film in bed, and he leant over and kissed me.
'It felt so natural and it made me wonder why we'd waited so long.
'We slept together that night and it was totally magical and romantic, like a Hollywood film.'
From then on Jacob and Samantha were a couple.
She says: 'None of our friends were surprised, and plenty of them asked what had taken us so long.
'I'd met his parents before, and when Jacob called his mum to tell her we were dating, she was so happy she cried.'
The couple moved in immediately and began building their life together.
'Jacob was such a care-taker, always bringing me coffee or cooking us dinner,' Samantha says.
'But as the honeymoon period faded, we both began to worry whether the relationship would work long-term.
We slept together that night and it was totally magical and romantic, like a Hollywood film
Samantha Greenstone
'I worried I was trapping him or taking him away from a man but he always assured me he wasn't missing out.
'Yet he was still feeling anger and frustration from not having fully come out to his parents.'
One afternoon when Samantha was visiting her family she had a call from Jacob.
He explained that he had come out to his dad but was still in a relationship with Samantha.
'His dad was confused but accepting and Jacob said it was a huge relief,' she says.
'He explained that living a seemingly 'straight' life, without being fully open about his sexuality, had been driving him crazy.'
From then on it was smoother sailing for the pair, who began seeing a couples' therapist together.
Samantha says: 'To our surprise she told us she was also in a mixed-orientation relationship – she considered herself straight, but was married to a woman.
'It was a revelation to realise our situation wasn't totally unique.
'Jacob told me he wasn't bisexual and was solely attracted to men, and that's important to his identity.
'But he explained that I was his soulmate and that's its own star in another galaxy.'
Relationships in numbers: The most common way to meet someone
YouGov looked into how Brits find love, and your best bet is at work or through friends according to the data.
Through work - 18%
Through friends - 18%
While out and about - 15%
Other - 11%
Online dating platform - 7%
University or higher education - 6%
Dating app - 6%
School - 5%
Shared hobby - 5%
Family - 3%
Face to face at an event - 0%
While friends worried that her relationship might make her feel less physically desirable Samantha said it was quite the opposite.
'He doesn't just see me as body parts but as a whole,' she says.
'Jacob told me that he'd initially been concerned about whether the physical aspect of the relationship would work, but in the moment it had felt completely right.'
After six years together, the couple went ring shopping.
Then, just a few months later, Jacob proposed to Samantha on a red carpet outside the iconic Beverly Hills Hotel.
'Both of us had our own ideas for the wedding – from Jacob's Phantom of the Opera entrance music, to my Titanic-themed wedding cake,' she says.
There were 35 guests in attendance, including both of their families.
After the marriage ceremony, the couple posted a selection of photographs online.
'I'm marrying a gay man at the court house! I captioned it, cheekily,' Samantha says.
My husband may be gay, but I'm 100 per cent sure he's the man for me
Samantha Greenstone
'We were flooded with questions – with people even saying our relationship was a tax dodge.
'Loads of commenters wanted to know whether we slept together.'
Samantha made a TikTok video in a bid to clear things up.
'We have a great sex life, and we have sex the traditional way,' she explained to her followers.
'If you need us to tell you about the birds and the bees, then that's not our problem.'
"We don't have an open marriage either - we're 100% monogamous to each other."
The couple received messages from others in mixed-orientation relationships too.
'It just shows it's more common than you'd think,' she says.
'Now we've been married for six months, and we're trying for a baby.
'My husband may be gay, but I'm 100 per cent sure he's the man for me.'
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The husband and wife are now trying for a baby together
Credit: Bauer