Parenting in the ‘iPad kid' era: Overcoming the challenges of screen time

Yahoo

16-05-2025

TUSCALOOSA, Ala. (WIAT) – If you're wondering why your child won't put their phone down, ask yourself how much time you are spending on yours.
'You need to model that behavior for them,' licensed marriage and family counselor Danielle Russo-Gonzalez said. 'Otherwise, they won't know how to do it.'
Many parents might agree – parenting is not always a walk in the park. But tablets and phones can give them some room to breathe.
'Parents oftentimes are really busy,' University of Alabama Human Development and Family Studies Associate Professor Jason Scofield said. 'Their hope is that they can put their child on a device, give them some educational content and give them some time to do something else.'
Scofield has spent several years researching the impacts of excessive screen time and development. He's found that too much time on devices leads to social isolation, less sleep, and higher feelings of suicide – among other issues.
'I'm getting to the point now where I'm going to start cracking down on screen time,' Dominique Kenebrew said.
Kenebrew has two daughters. They are 9 years old and 6 years old. He and his wife gave them tablets with the sole intent of only being used to watch YouTube. Later, they upgraded to iPads.
'I can see the changes in behavior and things they do,' Kenebrew said.
The iPad was not the catalyst for change – it's what they're watching and how long they're watching it for.
'There's this little girl, and she will just start screaming, and they'll try to emulate that,' Kenebrew said.
For the most part, the Kenebrew family has been lenient with screen time. Now, they want to create limits, and it's likely the kids won't be fully on board.
'When parents start trying to place limits on screen time, when there has not been any in place before, children can be reactive to that,' Russo-Gonzalez said.
One reason children have a hard time logging off is because children develop an emotional connection with their device, Russo-Gonzalez said. While phones and tablets help people connect, they also help children and teens self-soothe.
'A lot of times, we work on finding coping skills for children to feel regulated without the screen,' Russo-Gonzalez said.
Coping skills vary based on a child's interest and needs, but parents can try a multitude of things. Painting, drawing, reading, walking and cooking are some examples.
Another reason kids can have a hard time being phone-free is because of what it does to their brain.
'Cell phone use, particularly social media use, activates some of the same reward pathways in your brain that gambling and drugs do,' Scofield said.
The idea of a toddler sitting at a casino playing the slots would be probably humorous to some, but more and more toddlers are getting tablets. The daily recommendation for children 2 years old and younger is zero hours, but Scofield said that age group is often spending two hours or more on a screen.
The number of hours spent on a device only increases as children get older, Scofield said. Thus, if you give a kid a tablet, be prepared to have a talk.
'If they start young, they're more likely to have unhealthy boundaries with social media and technology,' Russo-Gonzalez said.
Unhealthy boundaries can be what they're sharing online, what they're watching and how long they're watching it for.
Some couples are relatively new to the world of parenting, and phones – at least the ones we have today – are relatively new to the world. Parents are trying to find balance between the two.
'We're strictly like, 'hey, if the weather is great, go outside and play,'' Ashley Colburn said.
Colburn has a 7-year-old and a 4-year-old. They also get some screen time before bed or on a long car ride, 'but we never just say, 'hey here's your tablet,'' Colburn said.
Colburn is parenting in an age where phones at the dinner table is the new norm. But it's not a norm she wants for her children.
'I hope that me and my husband can set an example, I mean, we dive off into our phones sometimes, it is what it is, but I want them to know there is life beyond a screen,' Colburn said.
Some children grow up with screen time boundaries in place, but some parents give their children freedom to decide when, where and how long they're on a device. For parents who gave little to no restrictions on phone use but later decide it's time for a change, one thing you can try is getting input from your child.
'I think as much collaboration as you can have is great,' Russo-Gonzalez said. 'Kids and teens will be more bought into the solution if they feel like they're apart of the solution.
Of course parents have the final say. But, whether you make screen time rules on your own, or your child has input – stick with it.
'Parents have things to do, and they feel like they can't constantly have this battle going on about technology,' Russo-Gonzalez said. 'That's where parents sometimes fall into this pattern of, 'okay, let's just give in this time and we'll try again tomorrow.'
But giving in can continue the cycle. How do we break it?
Ultimately, if you want your child to get off their phone without having to tell them to, it takes a family effort.
'We all have devices,' Scofield said.
Grandparents, parents and kids have phones and social media accounts – even some dogs have gone viral.
'We're all spending hours and hours a day on our phone,' Scofield said. 'We used to be doing something else. What that was, who knows.'
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