"That Escalated Quickly:" 23 People Who Woke Up One Morning Over The Past Week And Accidentally Destroyed Their Entire Lives
The person whose delivery driver, while enthusiastic, left a bit to be desired:
The person who has a golden opportunity to make the world's largest pizza pie:
The person whose cake instructions got taken a bit too literally:
The person who had a Looney Tunes scenario happen to them:
The person who met some ants with expensive taste:
The person whose drink got a little extra spice in it at the ballgame:
The person who made some delicious, well-done cookies:
The person whose pillow got spaghettified:
The person who got a note from their neighbor you never want to get:
The person who gave their bathroom a nice, deep red dye:
The person whose garage got delivered a dent:
The person who just invented a new way to tie-dye:
The person who better get to slurpin':
The person who just might want to bust out the flamethrower on their car:
The person whose kitchen just turned into a foam rager:
The person whose charger almost blew up their house:
The person who is now seeing their front tooth the way the rest of the world sees it:
The person who's going to be sneezing until the cows come home:
The person who now holds the power to eternal life:
The person who is living next to the brightest point on Earth:
The person who is about to have a very fun few days:
The person whose backpack is going to be perpetually sticky:
And the person whose pink toe got absolutely no respect:
Poor pinky.
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Buzz Feed
5 days ago
- Buzz Feed
65 People Who Woke Up One Morning Over The Past Month And Accidentally Ruined Their Entire Year
The person whose basement just got a brand new indoor pool: The person who lost power in the most cartoonish way: The person whose guitar might have taken a slight fall: The person whose car made the perfect toy for a bear: The person whose wedding ring was squeezing the life out of them: The person who just invented a new kind of burger: The person whose phone took a nice, relaxing dip: The person whose cake basically said it all: The person who is in for a rude awakening: The person who hit literally the only thing they should have tried to avoid: The person whose tomato soup got sent straight to Hades itself: The person who picked a fight with the wrong tree: The person who has a golden opportunity to make the world's largest pizza pie: The person whose drink got a little extra spice in it at the ballgame: The person whose garage got delivered a dent: The person who might want to hire a professional next time: The person whose sunburn is more like a sun-incineration: The person whose fence has seen some things... horrible things: The person who had the unthinkable happen to them: The person who got an extra-special gift with their new car: The person whose hard work was ruined by a moth with nothing to lose: The person who made a $500 mistake: The person who might clean a little TOO well: The person who will be picking rice out of their keyboard until the cows come home: The person who will be enjoyin' some good old-fashioned grilled spatula tonight: The person who added a liiiittle bit too much salt: The person whose iPhone is halfway to becoming a sandwich: The person whose car is now 90% dough: The person who got something very, very precious taken from them: The person who got a little extra protein with their rice: The person whose garlic bread is now garlic dead: The person who got a fresh pair of size 12 baby shoes: The person whose car looks like it just got hit by a line drive from Bubbles Hargrave: The person who loves their cat very much, I'm sure: The person whose cake went skydiving: The person whose tire might have a little bit of a problem: The person whose lemon is begging to be put out of its misery: The person whose rear-end is about to be filled to the brim with diet cola: The person whose wall is now minty fresh: Mmmm. Perfect. The person whose delivery driver, while enthusiastic, left a bit to be desired: The person whose cake instructions got taken a bit too literally: The person who had a Looney Tunes scenario happen to them: The person who met some ants with expensive taste: The person who got a note from their neighbor you never want to get: The person who just invented a new way to tie-dye: The person who just might want to bust out the flamethrower on their car: The person whose kitchen just turned into a foam rager: The person who is now seeing their front tooth the way the rest of the world sees it: The person who's going to be sneezing until the cows come home: The person who now holds the power to eternal life: The person who is on the trip of a lifetime: The person who's going to be picking up little tiny rye berries until the cows come home: The person who lived the Italian nightmare: The person who should have never checked the garage: The person who shouldve just stayed put: The person who learned a valuable lesson about trunk space: The person who got a palm full of cactus: The person who got a little extra flavoring on their dog: The person who gave their staircase a cool, hip modern paint-job: The person whose pictures will now have a tasteful crease to them: The person who may never sleep again: The person who was kind enough to anonymously donate a bite of their sandwich: The person who's going to have to pull a dang Sir Edmund Hillary maneuver to get that remote: The person whose computer experienced flight: And the person whose pink toe got absolutely no respect: Poor pinky.
Yahoo
29-05-2025
- Yahoo
Wes Anderson's ‘The Phoenician Scheme' Is One of His Best
There are dozens upon dozens of memorable eccentrics, delusional antiheroes, blustery authority figures, sad sacks, screw-ups and all-too-lovable schmucks that populate the 12 feature films and handful of shorts directed by Wes Anderson. It is safe to say that there's nobody else like Anatole 'Zsa Zsa' Korda in his back catalog. (The gentleman's name alone, being a sui generis mixture of European gentry, old Hollywood callbacks and references to two different film directors, is pure chef's kiss.) An international magnate of mystery, 'a maverick in the fields of armaments and aviation,' and a celebrity business tycoon whose decisions have seismic effects on the mid-20th century's global economy, Korda has no passport and no country he calls home. He simply resides on top of the world. As played by Benicio Del Toro with equal parts Shakespearean gravitas and Looney Tunes goofiness, he is an apex predator in a bespoke pinstriped suit. Even Royal Tenenbaum would step aside to let this titan of industry pass. Such headline-making success breeds envy and enemies, of course, which is why a cabal of Korda's rivals keep sabotaging his planes; when we meet Zsa Zsa, he's just survived the umpteenth in-flight bombing and crash landing. One can only walk away from so many assassination attempts before their luck runs out. Which is why Korda is keen to secure his legacy. His master plan is twofold: First, he must convince his only daughter, Liesl (Mia Threapleton), to become the heir to his fortune; Korda doesn't believe his nine young sons, who run the gamut from mischief-makers to nincompoops, are up to the task. The only caveat is that she must avenge his death should he perish. There are several problems with this initial stage, however, given that Liesl has been estranged from her father for years and believes he murdered her mother. Oh, and also, she's a novitiate who wants nothing more than a convent to call her own. More from Rolling Stone Mia Threapleton Idolized Wes Anderson. Then She Became the Breakout Star of His New Movie Tom Hanks to Star in 'This World of Tomorrow' Play, Which He Wrote, This Fall 'Highest 2 Lowest' Isn't Spike Lee's Best or Worst - Just a Chance to Watch Denzel Go HAM The second part centers a vast infrastructure project involving a tunnel, a waterway and a 'hydroelectric embankment.' Never mind the who, what, how, or why of it — dubbed 'the Phoenician Scheme' and laid out via a series of intricate shoeboxes that speak more to the aesthetic favored by the famously fastidious filmmaker than anything else, this is Korda's bid for immortality. Except the enigmatic Anti-Zsa Zsa committee that's been bankrolling all those plane bombs have also just tanked the market in terms of the materials needed to build all of this. So Korda must trot the globe in order to ensure that his various investors can 'cover the gap' vis-à-vis the funding. He's decided to drag Liesl and Bjorn (Michael Cera), a tutor he's hired from Oslo, along for company. Maybe this man who's used to getting what he wants can convince the nun to get with the program. If Korda happens to bond with his offspring, that's a bonus. Both a continuation of Anderson's highly imitable, endlessly meme-able strain of filmmaking — has any other name-above-the-title auteur of the last 30 years been so associated with one consistent, defining signature style? Please submit your answers via old-timey telegraphs — and an expansion of his thematic preoccupations, The Phoenician Scheme finds our man Wes in a somewhat pensive mood. Father figures have always loomed large in his work, dating back to his debut movie Bottle Rocket (1996), and along with Del Toro and cowriter Roman Coppola (no stranger to patriarchs with large shadows), he's concocted one doozy of a screen dad. Korda thinks nothing of sequestering his nine sons in a mansion of their own across the street, so they'll stay out of his hair. When several jump at the site of a praying mantis that Bjorn produces during a rare group lunch at his place, Korda barks, 'Are we mice, or men?!' Liesl, for her part, is not happy to be summoned out of the blue after six years of no contact. She's also aghast when she finds out he's been spying on her from afar. 'It's not called spying when you're the parent,' Zsa Zsa replies. 'It's called nurturing.' But at the press conference at Cannes, where the film premiered last week, Anderson made a point of mentioning that he, Coppola and Del Toro are all raising daughters, and how that aspect factored into the schematics of his latest work. The director doesn't need to fret about his legacy, but there's an inherent worry about the responsibilities of fatherhood embedded into the DNA of this espionage-thriller-meets-ensemble-comedy. It's easy to be anxious about being not just a dad but a bad dad, and while there's zero sense that Anderson is exorcising personal demons — that's not his style — the underlying feeling that Korda has come around entertaining the idea of some relationship with his spiritually questing firstborn too late in life is present even in the broader, more outré moments. Not that The Phoenician Scheme isn't playful, or filled with the surface pleasures so many of us have come to cherish about Anderson's specific visual template. Longtime production designer Adam Stockhausen outdoes himself here, creating vivid worlds that run the gamut from exotic, Casablanca-style nightspots to underground-tunnel meeting spaces to treacherous jungle landscapes. Working with Bruno Delbonnel (Amelie, Across the Universe, Inside Llewyn Davis) for the first time, Anderson takes advantage of the French cinematographer's facility with color, lighting, and an almost faded-Kodachrome look to this 1950s period piece. The cast, per usual, is vast and to die for: Jeffrey Wright delivers rat-a-tat dialogue as a sea captain living a true life aquatic; Benedict Cumberbatch rocks a bitchin' Rasputin beard as Korda's brother; Tom Hanks and Bryan Cranston do a daffy double act as American businessmen who challenge Zsa Zsa and a prince played by Riz Ahmed to a trial by basketball; Scarlett Johansson shows up briefly as a cousin who runs a utopian commune; the always great Richard Aayode is a revolutionary who commits the sin of shooting up Mathieu Amalric's chic dance club. A few straight-outta-Andrei Rublev vignettes in black and white suggest an afterlife in which God is played, naturally, by Bill Murray. Rather, it's that these set pieces and the supporting cast all serve to further buffer, goose and/or cast a different angle on the central relationship between Zsa Zsa and Liesl. And though most of The Phoenician Scheme is technically a three-hander, with Cera's nebbishy academic adding to the screwball vibe (on a scale of one to Swedish Chef from The Muppets, his Oslo accent is roughly a six), this is really a two-person joint. Thank god Anderson cast the leads he did. As with a lot of great actors who can switch their pitches up at will, you probably take Benicio Del Toro for granted. The way he lends his alpha male industrialist both a sense of authority, a hint of a swindler's con artistry, and a slight befuddlement mixed with buried pride over how Liesl stands up to him, all while keeping perfect comic time, is a prime example of why he's forever courting generational GOAT status. And Threapleton, a relative newcomer, is a major find. It isn't just that she can hold her own against her formidable scene partner; it's that she works perfectly in tandem with him while distinguishing Liesl via a less-is-more performance. Told that her life will change irrevocably when she inherits her father's fortune, the nun gives a barely discernible shrug. It's like a silent-comedy routine in miniature. The duo aren't the only reason Scheme works as well as it does, but they do help lay an emotional foundation that gives Anderson room to build upon. The best of his movies — Rushmore, The Royal Tenenbaums, Fantastic Mr. Fox, The Grand Budapest Hotel — find a way to gel a bigger-picture pathos with the idiosyncrasies, stylistic tics, tricks, and storytelling modes that has made him a beloved figure among both film nerds and discerning viewers desperate for watching big stars have fun. We'd rank this one right next to those. It ends on the closest thing to a simple life that this larger-than-life figure can imagine, taking its sweet time so you can savor the sublime nature of the moment that much more. You leave impressed that Anderson can still manage to do what his does best without succumbing to self-parody here. The blueprint may be familiar. But it's still a pretty foolproof plan. Best of Rolling Stone The 50 Best 'Saturday Night Live' Characters of All Time Denzel Washington's Movies Ranked, From Worst to Best 70 Greatest Comedies of the 21st Century
Time Out
28-05-2025
- Time Out
End of an era as Cavendish cinemas close
It was, perhaps, inevitable that this day would come. But the news this week that Ster-Kinekor will close its cinemas in the Claremont shopping centre, Cavendish Square, marks the end of an era. From high school dates to family outings, the cineplex at Cavendish Square has long been part of the fabric of the city's southern suburbs. Once famous for its plush seats, a choice of Cinema Nouveau downstairs and more commercially-minded 'flicks' up top, and the luxurious seating of the Cine Prestige, it seems Ster Kinekor did pretty much everything they could to keep us coming back to the silver screen. And it didn't work. Not even the prospect of 3D screens could pry us off the couch and into the cinema again. In the face of rising costs, Covid, and all-pervasive streaming services, the writing has been on the wall for some time and it was perhaps only a matter of when, not if, the price (ever-increasing) of selling movie tickets and popcorn could cover hefty rents in Cavendish Square. It turns out the 'when' is Monday, 2 June: this will be the last day of trade for Ster-Kinekor at Cavendish Square, and the screens will go dark. The lights will go up, the popcorn swept from the floor, and movie-goers will file out into the light one last time. I'll miss the after-credits chats about whether the movie was any good. I'll miss the lingering taste of sour cream and chives (always, the sour cream and chives) popcorn salt. I won't miss the outrageous cost of said popcorn, or the people who check their phones and take calls (who does that?) in the middle of the movie. 'While this chapter closes, we're firmly focused on the future and are actively investing in our current cinema complexes,' Ster-Kinekor said in a statement released this week. '[This will] ensure that every visit to watch a movie at one of our Ster-Kinekor theatres delivers a truly exceptional movie-going experience, every time.' The question is: do we still want that kind of movie-going experience? Or are we happier on our own couch? Given that the Cavendish closure follows in the wake of cinemas shuttering in Johannesburg and Durban, that remains to be seen. Perhaps we'll be jolted into a wave of nostalgia that has us rushing back to the cinema? Or perhaps we'll just fire up the flat-screen at home and make our own microwave popcorn instead. Sadly, it'll never be as good as that sour cream and chives. Whether you'll miss it or not, come the end of Monday, the days of the silver screen at Cavendish come to an end. As Porky Pig (and later Bugs Bunny) would famously remind us at the end of each Looney Tunes cartoon: 'That's all folks!'
