Personal space? Not in this household—how one mom learned to embrace her toddler's love (and elbows)
'Personal space…I don't know her '
And judging by the comment section, she's far from alone.
'Every single time we should have been born with pouches like kangaroos,'
@starks
joked. Another mom, @michelle | wfh boy mama
added,
'I swear if they could climb back into our bellies they would .'
And @Veronica offered the theory many parents have quietly suspected: 'I really think they miss being inside of us. Like there's that little feeling in them that wants to go back.'
These replies speak to something both hilariously universal and deeply emotional: the closeness toddlers crave—and the overwhelm parents often feel in response.
Related: True life: Toddlers and 'personal space' don't mix
When 'touched out' becomes the norm
For toddlers, physical proximity is how they feel safe. According to experts, children often seek constant physical contact as a way to regulate emotions, feel protected, and explore their independence from a secure base.
For parents, though, especially those juggling work, household responsibilities, and caregiving, that closeness can sometimes feel suffocating. The term 'touched out' describes the sensory overload that can happen when you've had too much physical contact, and it's a very real part of the parenting experience.
Needing a break often means your nervous system is overloaded, not that anything is wrong with the bond you share. That's especially true in early motherhood, when someone is quite literally on you for most of the day (and night).
Related: I miss having personal space
Finding small resets when you're overwhelmed
If you're feeling physically and emotionally drained by the closeness, you're not alone—and you're not a bad parent for needing space. A few ways to reset:
Name what's happening. Saying out loud, 'I'm feeling touched out right now' can help normalize the experience for yourself and your family.
Take micro-breaks. Even stepping outside for 2–3 minutes of fresh air can be enough to shift your energy.
Use transition objects. Offer a special pillow or stuffed animal your toddler can cuddle with next to you, instead of always being on you.
Involve your partner or support network. Ask for 20 minutes alone in the bedroom or bathroom while someone else holds down the fort.
Breathe into the moment. Sometimes, just recognizing this closeness as temporary can soften the edges of the frustration.
This is the phase that fills your heart—and your lap
Toddlers have no concept of boundaries—and yet, as many seasoned parents will tell you, they soon learn. And when they do, it can be startling how quickly the clinginess gives way to independence.
The same couch that once felt crowded with toddler limbs will one day be too empty.
That's why videos like @abigail_stacey22's hit so hard. They show the beauty in the mess. The absurdity of having a perfectly good sofa, but becoming the designated seat anyway. And the unspoken truth that many of us are quietly holding onto: these overwhelming moments are also the ones we'll miss the most.
So yes—personal space might be a distant memory right now. But in this season of elbows, clingy hugs, and sticky fingers, there's also unmatched closeness. And a love that can't help but sit right on top of you.
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