
Dear Vix: Are these worrying symptoms a sign of dementia?
We moved to a new home a little over a year ago and it wasn't too long afterwards that these changes started. At first, she couldn't read the headlines of newspapers, which was strange as she could read the smaller text just fine. She said the words looked 'jumbled up'. She went to the optician ,but they couldn't say what the problem was. A few months later, she reversed the car into the garage wall. She's lost her confidence – so now either stays at home or asks for me to give her a lift. She's also suffered with depression for a while now too, but the medications or talking therapies aren't making a difference.
She's finding it increasingly hard to read. She can't do any household admin, like paying the bills, because she can't read them anymore. She's never been dyslexic and has always been an avid book reader, so I'm worried that if there's nothing wrong with her eyes, then perhaps there could be something going on in her brain instead?
My sister-in-law said she heard of a type of dementia that starts with problems with vision and has urged me to persuade my wife to go and see her GP. She's terrified of what they might say and together with her depression, she's having real trouble making the appointment. She keeps saying she'll do it tomorrow, but then tomorrow comes and goes and nothing happens.
I certainly don't want to cause my wife more distress but we can't go on like this. We need answers. How do I make my wife see that going to the GP will help to provide answers and get her any support she might need?
Worried
Dear Worried,
Firstly, let me say I hear you loud and clear. You've raised a family and been side-by-side with your wife for over 50 years, so to see her experiencing these changes without an obvious explanation must be incredibly difficult and stressful.
It is understandable that your wife might be fearful of what the doctors may find. It's very common to want to pretend, at least for a while, that everything is fine. However, if her condition continues to get worse then at some point she will have no choice but to face it – and the sooner this happens, the quicker she can get any treatment or support that might be available.
It's really important to say that until your wife gets a proper assessment and diagnosis, we don't know what might be causing her symptoms. Problems with vision and low mood are very common, particularly as people get older. However, in answer to your question about dementia, there is indeed a type that mostly causes problems with vision during its early stages. It doesn't tend to cause problems with memory and thinking at first, which means that it's rarely picked up early as a type of dementia and is often diagnosed as something else for several years before the person eventually gets a correct diagnosis. It's called posterior cortical atrophy, or PCA.
The most important thing though is that your wife takes the next step and sees her GP. Until she gets a diagnosis, neither of you will know what's happening or how you're supposed to cope with these changes. If it does turn out to be a problem with the brain, such as PCA, then most people with this condition say that they wish they'd been able to get a diagnosis earlier. Obviously, it's not a diagnosis that anyone would ever choose to have. However, if someone does have the condition then getting an early and accurate diagnosis can help her get the support she needs, rather than continuing to live in fear of the unknown and waiting for an inevitable crisis to happen.
If you want to know more about PCA or other rarer types of dementia, you can call a support line such as the Alzheimer's Society, which has dedicated dementia advisors who can listen to your situation and provide advice on the best course of action for both of you. You can also use a symptoms checklist to help you know how to talk to your family GP – or to help your wife talk to them about how she's been feeling.
Facing the unknown is never easy, but remember – you are doing the right thing in supporting your wife and seeking advice. It may be the first step in this journey, but it is the most crucial one and I wish you all the best for whatever the future may hold.
Tom (standing in for Vix)
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


The Guardian
11 minutes ago
- The Guardian
Is it, like, OK to say ‘like' now?
If you're a millennial or millennial-adjacent, you probably grew up being chastised for using the word 'like' inappropriately. You're probably familiar with the sins: the first is employing it as a filler word, to give you time to think: 'I was, like, trying to speak in a socially acceptable way.' The second is using it to mean 'said', as in: 'My English teacher was like, 'Don't talk like that.'' And the third is using it to denote approximation: 'People who police the word are all, like, a million years old.' Yet, we all made it to adulthood despite the verbal carnage; many of us even have jobs that require communication. Now that millennials are, like, becoming the establishment, will the stigma against the word disappear? Megan C Reynolds, a millennial and author of Like: A History of the World's Most Hated (And Misunderstood) Word, says part of what older generations rejected about 'like' – as with so much language – was its relative newness during our childhoods, which 'probably made them feel old'. The controversial use of the word came to prominence in the 1980s and 1990s, though it has been evolving since the year 1200, according to the linguist Alexandra D'Arcy. Today it is a firm part of the English lexicon, stretching from its inescapability on Love Island, to its role as the title of an Ice Spice EP (Like..?), to its regular employment by NPR's 'erudite, measured' interviewer Terry Gross, who has been praised for using 'like' as 'stepping stones within sentences, on which she presses her weight, pivots, and tucks into her point'. Reynolds argues that, as millennials begin to dominate the workforce, 'the usage of 'like' will soon be the status quo.' Language evolves, generally for the better, she writes. Contrary to what our grade school teachers might have suggested, there are no real linguistic laws. The only language police are self-appointed. Still, using the word carries some embarrassment. As Reynolds and others point out, much of the vitriol directed at 'like' is tied to its association with young women, beginning with the 1980s stereotype of the valley girl – a teen in the Los Angeles suburbs who, God forbid, enjoyed shopping. It's true, researchers have found, that young women in particular play a leading role in shaping our language. But at the same time, as Reynolds writes: 'The policing of the way women speak – which, in turn, makes women feel as if they need to police themselves, often subconsciously – is a sport that will never get old.' That internalization, along with the history of finger-wagging, can make things difficult. 'I have a friend who works for the FBI – she works with a lot of men – and has said that her father used to tell her to not say 'like' a lot, and it's been sort of drilled in her head,' Reynolds says. It all leaves the word in a sort of purgatory – no longer condemned outright yet not fully embraced. That makes this an opportune moment for Reynolds's book, which, despite the 'history' in its title, might better be described as a series of meditations on the word. Reynolds reflects, of course, on Love Island and Terry Gross, as well as influencer culture, films ranging from My Fair Lady to Clueless (a movie exposing the misguidedness of the valley girl stereotype), and the different ways we use language, from texting with friends to emailing across the office (where we shift into what she calls 'corporate drag', with all its reaching out, circling back and touching base). But what's most memorable about the book is Reynolds's celebration of the word's unique ability to grease the wheels of communication. 'Like', she argues, actually improves our ability to relate our experiences. For one thing, it allows us to combine words and feelings in a story. As D'Arcy tells Reynolds in the book: 'The simple story that has been told about 'like' is that it came in and replaced 'say'.' In fact, things are more complex: with 'like', 'people started quoting way more than speech. And, in particular, they started quoting those internal states' – what they felt rather than what they actually said. So you might tell a friend: 'My boss was like, 'What the hell is wrong with you?'' when in fact the boss's language was far more polite. But this more colorful version perhaps relates both the boss's tone and how it made you feel, with the word 'like' signaling to the listener that they shouldn't take us literally. As Reynolds writes: 'The way we tell stories now is fundamentally different because we make space for feeling as well as facts.' Meanwhile, when we discuss thorny topics, the word offers a chance to pause, and perhaps pivot or soften our language. 'Not every situation requires a hammer,' Reynolds writes. ''Like' smooths the edges from strong, sharp, uncomfortable emotions, lowering the intensity until it feels more manageable.' Or, as she puts it in conversation: 'It is just really hard to say complicated emotional things directly.' The word 'gives you a minute to get your shit together mentally and also lets the other person know that you are getting your shit together'. Most of all, Reynolds doesn't want people to beat themselves up. 'I would argue that saying 'like' a lot is not the thing you should be upset at yourself for,' she says. 'So if I could disabuse anyone of that notion, then my job is done.' In any case, there's plenty of new gen Z slang to be frightened by instead.


Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
Mum trades her busy UK life to live in luxury in huge villa in Spain with a pool and private gym - and saved £100k in the process
A British mother has revealed how she and her family uprooted their lives in the UK to move to a spacious villa in Spain with a pool and gym - and reduced their cost of living by thousands. Bridie moved abroad with her husband, two teenagers, three dogs and cat five months ago - and says their new 'huge' home cost £100,000 less than her property back home. The project coordinator has been sharing her and her family's transition from Essex to the sunny Mediterranean holiday hot spot n social media, leaving viewers stunned. She gave a virtual tour of her palatial new abode in the port city of Alicante on TikTok. Starting at the front door, Bridie entered a huge living area, then went through to the bedrooms, many of which had their own en-suite bathroom. She then showed off the roomy dining area and Spanish-style kitchen that led out to the massive garden with fruit trees and sweeping mountain views. The lavish home sits on a large plot of land, acres away from neighbours, offering privacy and quietness. Outside, the property has an enormous garage as well as a pool, a vast lawn and a pool house with another bedroom and bathroom. Bridie said she and her family viewed 18 houses before falling in love with the one they ended up buying. The mother revealed that the family plan on doing renovations to the house and garden to add another en-suite inside and a games room, fire pit, outdoor kitchen and gym to the garden. Viewers were wowed by the incredible home and garden, with many expressing their jealousy. 'It's lovely, so much space and seems a peaceful location,' one user said. 'Absolutely beautiful. A total dream. This is what I wish for,' another wrote. 'Well done. Renovations can be done in your own time. Most importantly, you're all out there. Much better environment for all the family and friendly people too,' a third replied. 'Sooooo much property and land for your money over there. You can see why so many people do it,' someone added. In the UK, Bridie lived with her family in Essex in a four-bedroom house with stunning views. Bridie said she and her family viewed 18 houses before falling in love with the one they ended up buying She said the house was 'perfect', but she didn't like having to work hours on end to afford the mortgage. 'Back in the UK, you feel like you're just working to pay the bills, so the reason we sold it was to be able to move over to Spain and buy a cheaper house to get rid of the mortgage and have less outgoing,' she explained. 'Believe it or not, this home sold for £100k more than what our Spanish home cost us, therefore less outgoings all round. 'And yes, it's big but you get a hell of a lot more for your money in Spain compared to the UK.' The expat said while she loved her British home, she was inspired to move to somewhere sunnier as she 'dreamt' of a life where she could work less and spend more time with her family. 'UK weather is not always sunny, we get a hell of a lot of rain and I wanted to be able to be outside more, enjoying the sunshine in Spain,' she added. Bridie said she was able to get a digital nomad visa to live and work in Spain, and it took two and a half years of planning. The Briton explained the visa lasts up to three years, after which she will reapply for another two years before getting full residency. 'We always knew we wanted to move abroad, but the time was never right, but when is the time ever right?' she said. 'The whole process of moving to Spain took about two and a half years. It's not easy to move from the UK to Spain; there are lots of different visas. 'We went down the digital nomad route because my job is all online-based, I do project coordination for a company back in the UK.' She added that her job involves organising events like fitness classes for the business and that she was going to the classes herself six days a week while in the UK - but she has chosen to live a slower life now that she's in Spain. 'I do feel like I have a lot of spare time now that I'm out here, it's very quiet, it's very relaxed,' Bridie admitted. She recommended that those who want to do the same move to join Facebook groups to get information and advice from people who have been through the process themselves.


Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
I know I did the wrong thing by going through my daughter's bag... but I'm so shaken by what I found. Should I confront her? Tread carefully says CAROLINE WEST-MEADS... here's why
Q Recently I went through my 17-year-old daughter's bag – I am really not proud of this, but I was worried because she had been withdrawn and not quite herself – and was horrified to discover a packet for the morning-after pill. After the initial shock, I am now torn. While I'm glad she has behaved responsibly, albeit after the event, I'm heartbroken that she didn't feel she could talk to me. We've always been close, or so I thought. It has made me question what else she might be keeping from me.