Writers, I'm on your side – now here's my list of complaints
Reading is my favourite hobby. What's not to like about it? It can be done sitting down and can be combined with other hobbies such as drinking a beer or patting the dog.
And, while unwilling to put myself forward to test the theory, I'm convinced it makes you smarter.
I'm a kindly reader, by which I mean 'largely undiscriminating'. I consider myself on the writer's side, wanting to cheer their endeavours in any project, however unlikely.
Yet, even with a forgiving reader, there are quibbles. With Sydney crammed with authors for the annual Sydney Writers' Festival, could I mention some ways they could do better?
Non-fiction books that go on too long
Long novels are terrific – you sink into the world of Proust, Doris Lessing or Anthony Powell and want the pleasure to never end. With non-fiction, I'm not so sure. I'm interested to know about the Norman Conquest, I really am, but do I need the six-volume, 5000-page account by Edward Augustus Freeman (as recently reviewed on The Rest is History podcast)? I'm interested, also, in Lyndon Baines Johnson, a consequential president whose biographer, Robert Caro, is considered a genius. But do I definitely want to read four volumes, with a combined 3000 pages, and a fifth still to come? With Caro endlessly extending his efforts – see the recent documentary Turn Every Page – there's the danger, for a slow reader, that the life could take longer to read than it took to live.
The fashion to eschew quote marks
Some of our arty novelists are dispensing with quotation marks. I'm sure there's a reason, although they have yet to whisper that reason into my trusting ear. In these novels, the characters still speak, and sometimes they think, and – if it's a first-person narrator – they often describe things, and into this lumpy soup wades the reader, unequipped with the usual tools for discerning whether actual speech is occurring. At some point – I imagine it was in 1689 or maybe 1723 – some genius printer thought up the quote mark as a useful concession to the reader. I don't believe this useful invention should be so casually thrown away. I'm on the side of writers! I really am! I'm just trying to understand what's going on!!!
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Sydney Morning Herald
7 days ago
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Is it just me, or is everyone rude now? (It's not just me)
The woman, seated a chair or two away at the Sydney Writers' Festival, leaned over to me when the session had finished. She said: 'Do you always fidget, or do you have a particular problem today?' What? I hadn't been aware that I'd been fidgeting. Perhaps I'd been moving my new knee a little, just to take pleasure in the fact that my leg now works. But the movement would have been minimal. And she was seated a half a metre away. I'm always discombobulated when someone is rude to me. I think most people are. Minutes later, I ran into the writer Sydney writer Charlotte Wood. I told her about the nasty comment and how I'd been lost for words. Well, worse than lost for words. Instead, I'd put on a plummy English accent – why the accent? – and said, 'Madam, if I disturbed you in any way, I do apologise', and then stomped off (to the extent that a man with a new knee can stomp anywhere.) I asked Charlotte 'how come I was unable to come up with something better?' 'That's nothing,' said Charlotte. 'Someone was having me sign their book, and just as they were leaving, they examined me closely and said: 'So, whose idea was the hair?'' Charlotte is a wordsmith of dazzling skill. Her most recent book was shortlisted for last year's Booker Prize. Reviewers praise her wit. Surely, Charlotte would have come up with a zinger, even if I'd failed to manage one. Not a bit of it. She reports responding with a nervous half-laugh, a strange surge of shame – maybe the reader is right! - before quickly turning to the next customer in the queue.
The Age
7 days ago
- The Age
Is it just me, or is everyone rude now? (It's not just me)
The woman, seated a chair or two away at the Sydney Writers' Festival, leaned over to me when the session had finished. She said: 'Do you always fidget, or do you have a particular problem today?' What? I hadn't been aware that I'd been fidgeting. Perhaps I'd been moving my new knee a little, just to take pleasure in the fact that my leg now works. But the movement would have been minimal. And she was seated a half a metre away. I'm always discombobulated when someone is rude to me. I think most people are. Minutes later, I ran into the writer Sydney writer Charlotte Wood. I told her about the nasty comment and how I'd been lost for words. Well, worse than lost for words. Instead, I'd put on a plummy English accent – why the accent? – and said, 'Madam, if I disturbed you in any way, I do apologise', and then stomped off (to the extent that a man with a new knee can stomp anywhere.) I asked Charlotte 'how come I was unable to come up with something better?' 'That's nothing,' said Charlotte. 'Someone was having me sign their book, and just as they were leaving, they examined me closely and said: 'So, whose idea was the hair?'' Charlotte is a wordsmith of dazzling skill. Her most recent book was shortlisted for last year's Booker Prize. Reviewers praise her wit. Surely, Charlotte would have come up with a zinger, even if I'd failed to manage one. Not a bit of it. She reports responding with a nervous half-laugh, a strange surge of shame – maybe the reader is right! - before quickly turning to the next customer in the queue.
The Age
24-05-2025
- The Age
Writers, I'm on your side – now here's my list of complaints
Reading is my favourite hobby. What's not to like about it? It can be done sitting down and can be combined with other hobbies such as drinking a beer or patting the dog. And, while unwilling to put myself forward to test the theory, I'm convinced it makes you smarter. I'm a kindly reader, by which I mean 'largely undiscriminating'. I consider myself on the writer's side, wanting to cheer their endeavours in any project, however unlikely. Yet, even with a forgiving reader, there are quibbles. With Sydney crammed with authors for the annual Sydney Writers' Festival, could I mention some ways they could do better? Non-fiction books that go on too long Long novels are terrific – you sink into the world of Proust, Doris Lessing or Anthony Powell and want the pleasure to never end. With non-fiction, I'm not so sure. I'm interested to know about the Norman Conquest, I really am, but do I need the six-volume, 5000-page account by Edward Augustus Freeman (as recently reviewed on The Rest is History podcast)? I'm interested, also, in Lyndon Baines Johnson, a consequential president whose biographer, Robert Caro, is considered a genius. But do I definitely want to read four volumes, with a combined 3000 pages, and a fifth still to come? With Caro endlessly extending his efforts – see the recent documentary Turn Every Page – there's the danger, for a slow reader, that the life could take longer to read than it took to live. The fashion to eschew quote marks Some of our arty novelists are dispensing with quotation marks. I'm sure there's a reason, although they have yet to whisper that reason into my trusting ear. In these novels, the characters still speak, and sometimes they think, and – if it's a first-person narrator – they often describe things, and into this lumpy soup wades the reader, unequipped with the usual tools for discerning whether actual speech is occurring. At some point – I imagine it was in 1689 or maybe 1723 – some genius printer thought up the quote mark as a useful concession to the reader. I don't believe this useful invention should be so casually thrown away. I'm on the side of writers! I really am! I'm just trying to understand what's going on!!!
