Texas Republicans aim to redraw congressional map at Trump's urging
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Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
Despite our parenting differences, my in-laws are taking my kids in their RV this summer. It'll be good for everyone.
When I got pregnant with my second child, I realized having help would be critical for my family. Though we have different parenting styles, my in-laws have always been supportive. They asked to take my kids on an RV trip this summer, and I didn't hesitate to give permission. I used to be the mom who wanted to control — or "optimize" — every aspect of her child's day. Like many other attentive millennial mothers, I learned the differences between my baby's cries, the "perfect balance" of wake time and rest time, and the signs of an imminent bowel movement. I went through this education mostly on my own, tracking through apps and mentally logging the information in my exhausted brain. Meanwhile, my husband worked long hours remotely during the first year of our child's life in a small apartment in New York City. Once our family moved out of the big city to a small town and I found myself pregnant again, I knew I needed to do things differently the second time around — I wanted to avoid the pitfalls of postpartum anxiety and depression and build a supportive village. Enter my in-laws. My in-laws have a different parenting style than we do They're of the boomer generation, live two hours away, and are genuinely good people, with true hearts of gold. However, because of the generational divide (and, thus, variation in parenting styles), there have been moments of tension as my husband and I have navigated integrating our established families into our developing one. It's a tedious thing to invite your parents into the fold of your household's daily rhythm, particularly when you and your spouse are making decisions that stray from their own. In the beginning, it was a challenge for me to relinquish any facet of care. I became a "helicopter" parent, batting off any influence that I feared would "ruin" my kids' development. I kept my baby close because I had such profound anxiety surrounding my child's emotional and physical well-being. As my daughter grew into a toddler, I began to loosen my grip, relaxing the control I had over every aspect of her daily life. My mother-in-law, retired and delighted to be asked to help out with childcare, was a godsend, arriving with an open heart when needed. However, there were times when she'd offer processed foods or provide ample screen time to our then-2-year-old. I was offended initially, but after some time, I realized that my expectations of her were unrealistic, and my skepticism that she had some sort of ulterior motive wasn't rooted in truth. She'd also raised two children — two wonderful human beings — one of whom I'd chosen to marry, and she cared for my daughter with that same incredible love and attention, in her own way. They're taking my kids on an RV trip this summer, and it'll be good for everyone Now, I have two small children — both girls, 3 and 5 — so when my mother-in-law asked if they could spend a few days with them in their RV in a nearby town this summer, I agreed, without hesitation. Of course, I will always be a little unnerved by our generational differences, which tend to surface via casual remarks, specifically surrounding gender roles, politics, or faith. But I've arrived at this: it is important that I allow my children to experience that precious (and time-sensitive) one-on-one time with my husband's parents — their grandparents. Not to mention, my husband has waxed for years about fond memories of taking RV trips with his mother's parents, both of whom passed away years ago. Recently, I asked him what he remembered about all those camping trips, and I was surprised to learn that he didn't remember any notable landmarks, any final destinations, or any geographical specifics. What he did remember was the smell of his Granny and Paw-Paw's RV — that same overpowering smell of phthalates that transported him back in time whenever he entered his parents' new RV. He remembered the taste of egg salad sandwiches, Pepsi, and plain potato chips. He remembered the countless card games — Uno and Skip-Bo — that occurred nightly at sunset. He remembered perusing the collection of Rand McNally road atlases, relics of pre-Internet days. He remembered the deep tenor of his Paw-Paw's voice and the unsteadiness of his Granny's. Above all, he remembered that trips with his grandparents were never about the final destination: they were always about the journey, as cliché as that sounds. They were always about spending time with each other. Sure, my in-laws may give my kids more sugary foods than I do. They may let them stay up way past their bedtime. They may allow them to watch all the movies and shows they want. But, in my opinion, these are not deal-breakers. They're not reasons to disallow my children an experience that will live on, sweetly, in their memories long after their grandparents are gone. Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is that my children are safe, fed, and loved. I'm looking forward to the experience for them — and I'm looking forward to the break I'll get from caregiving. I'm sure I'll write about them while they're away. Read the original article on Business Insider Solve the daily Crossword
Fast Company
an hour ago
- Fast Company
3 simple steps to overcome self-doubt at work
BY Listen to this Article More info 0:00 / 3:39 I've spent over two decades on stages around the world as a charity auctioneer. Even in the earliest years of my career, my job exposed me to titans of industry and people at the highest levels of business. But as I became more experienced in my career, I always had the same thought: W hat am I doing here? Everyone here knows so much more than I do. Any comments or thoughts I planned to share remained exactly that—thoughts—because when I opened my mouth, I worried everyone would remember I wasn't supposed to be at the table in the first place. What started as a feeling that stopped me from speaking followed me in my career. That feeling stopped me from putting my hand up for a promotion, a raise, or for anything at all. It made me feel like I wasn't supposed to be sitting in the boardroom—or anywhere near the building, for that matter. Talk to any woman who has been in the working world or in a leadership position in the past two decades, and she can tell you all about imposter syndrome. Imposter syndrome is a feeling that stops many of us, particularly women, in our tracks. It keeps many of us from getting into the room where we would have the chance to fail. As you ascend the corporate ladder, no matter how deserving you are of a new title, a raise, or a new position, you may never truly believe you deserve any of it. When you look around a room of your peers, there's a little voice inside telling you that you're lucky to be in that room. Sound familiar? It's time to surmount the syndrome. Start with this simple three-step process so you can focus on the thing that matters most: you. 1. STOP THE SPIRAL Tell me if this sounds familiar: You're having a conversation with someone in your life—a friend, someone senior in your office, or someone whose opinion you care deeply about. They mention they are so glad that they get to see you now that your children are getting older and you can be in the office more. The comment stops you cold. Now you're spiraling, your mind filling in a narrative. I've been out of the game for years. Everyone here thinks I don't work hard enough, that I'm not here enough, that I don't do a good job. I need to show them I do care. I'll start working on the weekends, do extra work. . . On and on you go with a spiral of self-doubt and insecurity about everything that you have ever felt about your job performance. What did this person actually say? 'It's great to see you in the office more now that your children are getting older.' Period. Your answer? 'Thanks!' End scene. 2. CONTROL THE NARRATIVE Believe in yourself enough to believe that other people are thinking the best of you, not the worst. To really slam that imposter syndrome, rewrite your own story. Let's go back and rewrite that scene, shall we? What did that person say? 'It's great to see you in the office more now that your children are getting older.' Here's what I want you to hear: 'You are such a valuable member of this team, it's really great to have your positive energy in this office. You must be an incredible multitasker to be raising kids at home and crushing it at work, too. What a role model for the people around you. We are lucky to have you.' End scene. Cue applause. 3. ACCEPT THERE ARE NO GOLD STARS IN LIFE Never forget there are no gold stars given out when you are an adult. No one gives you a gold star for showing up to work, just like no one gives you a gold star for making your bed when you get up in the morning. You are responsible for everything that happens in your life and your response to it. Once you stop looking for affirmation from those around you and seek it from yourself, you can realize you have had the power all along. The super-early-rate deadline for Fast Company's Most Innovative Companies Awards is this Friday, July 25, at 11:59 p.m. PT. Apply today. ABOUT THE AUTHOR Lydia Fenet is the founder and CEO of the Lydia Fenet Agency, a boutique agency representing best-in-class charity auctioneers. Lydia's first book, The Most Powerful Woman in the Room is You, is currently being developed by Hulu into a TV series for which she will serve as executive producer. More
Associated Press
an hour ago
- Associated Press
House subcommittee votes to subpoena Justice Department for Epstein files
The Associated Press is an independent global news organization dedicated to factual reporting. Founded in 1846, AP today remains the most trusted source of fast, accurate, unbiased news in all formats and the essential provider of the technology and services vital to the news business. More than half the world's population sees AP journalism every day.
