Parents need to stop yelling from sidelines at kids' sport, former elite coach says

Australia Broadcast Center

16-05-2025

The first thing to disturb the dew on sports fields across the country this morning won't be the sun — it'll be the studs of junior footballers.
They'll run on, excited to be in team colours, to pass to their mates, maybe even to score.
But piercing the air before a player has even touched the ball will be a startling blast.
It won't be the siren or the ref's whistle but a parent from the sideline loudly cheering their child, yelling warnings against the tiny mistakes made in past games.
It's everything former professional footballer and elite coach Lee Unsworthy says needs to change in junior sport.
"Sit back, watch, enjoy, keep your mouth shut, support, encourage," Unsworthy says.
"Never criticise your child and as long as they're loving the game then they should keep playing and you can enjoy that journey with them."
As a professional, Unsworthy played for several teams in England's professional football leagues in the 90s and early 2000s.
In 2008 he became an academy coach at Manchester United and spent the next 16 years developing the talents of already skilled juniors hoping to one day run onto the club's hallowed turf at Old Trafford.
"It's all geared up to help children become elite, but I'm not always sure the pursuit of elitism is healthy," Unsworthy says.
He says that's something more parents need to think about when they're on the sideline.
"It [junior sport] looks different. They're meant to make mistakes, it's meant to look a bit scrappy at times," he says.
Clinical psychologist Cher McGillivray says while every parent wants their child to succeed and feel good about themselves, yelling from the sidelines can be problematic.
"Being yelled at, whether it's on the sports field or at home, is causing the child to go into their threat brain, which means they're going to go into a fight, flight, freeze or fawn [response]," Dr McGillivray says.
Dr McGillivray says cheering for the team rather than the individual, showing interest in the game and letting kids talk about what they like or don't like about it is often the better approach.
"Let your child bring the game to you if they want to," she says.
"It's important to model to your child that it's OK to feel angry or sad or ashamed or embarrassed and maybe get them to name that emotion so that you can guide and support them."
Football Australia last year reported a record-breaking 1.9 million participants in the sport, attributing an 11 per cent increase in participation across the country to the Matilda's success.
On the Gold Coast, the city's swelling population is flocking to community soccer clubs.
"We grew last year by something like 20 per cent," says Palm Beach Soccer Club's Barry Saunders.
With more players comes more competition, sometimes of the unhealthy variety, prompting clubs to act.
Mr Saunders says Palm Beach last year began making changes to the club's culture and has an ongoing education campaign on the standards expected from players, coaches, officials and parents alike.
"It's important that we constantly send the message that this is a child's game, they're learning to play, their minds aren't developed as adults yet, so we have to let them understand the game," he says.
"Unfortunately, and this is part of our education, a lot of adults actually see the child's game as the adult's game because that's their only impression of it."
For Unsworthy, the message to children and parents is similar — develop a love and spirit for the game, but don't take the fun out of it.
"You only get one childhood and when it's gone it's never coming back," he says.
"If you miss that in the pursuit of something that doesn't exist, you'll regret it."