Sorry parents, but your baby has no business being in the office
Schonle had been looking forward to the day's agenda, which included Red Bull's Christian Horner discussing tech advances in F1, Baroness Lane-Fox explaining how AI can be a force for equality, insights into what investors are looking for in tech companies and a panel making the case for launching tech businesses in the UK.
Schonle's business is a start-up called Humanvantage AI, and she was particularly keen on the prospect of networking with so many key figures in the industry.
The problem was she didn't make it through the door, not even to registration. Monday would not be a day on which she could add to her collection of lanyards. The reason: her plus one, Isadella. Doubtless brilliant, a hoover of information, a magnet of human interest, very possibly with a great future in supply chain inventory management – but, unfortunately, just eight months old.
Mother protested, baby babbled, and the pair were forced to turn tail and make the three-hour journey straight back home. Schonle has since complained about the refused entry, posting on LinkedIn (obviously) that: 'I should be able to build my company with [Isadella] by my side… Doesn't our future belong to the kids?'
London Tech Week then put out a statement saying that one of its attendees 'wasn't able to attend with her baby because of the event's age restrictions. We're very sorry she had this experience and have reached out directly to apologise and discuss what happened.' The statement continued: 'We've listened carefully and we are going to review our approach to age restrictions and facilities ahead of next year's London Tech Week.'
So while they might be sorry, they're not committing to allowing under-16s and neither should they. And not just because it's the tech-savvy young teens who are about to steal all their jobs and blow them out of the water.
But because sweet and cute and cuddly, soft-skinned and lovely to sniff and gorgeous though they are, conferences, workplaces and offices are not the place to bring babies and small children.
For they are the ultimate disruptors and they're designed that way so that we can't ignore them – so that we will feed for them, care for them and love them.
Which is why when Ms Schonle said on LinkedIn that, 'I was excited to attend, connect, have meetings and contribute', she should have realised that Isadella would have been a gorgeous distraction. Indeed, there's a photo of her posted on Schonle's LinkedIn page at the front doors of Olympia. She's waving, smiling, her beautiful, bright eyes and wispy hair are an audition for a clothing, nappy or soap brand. Everything else in the photo is dull by comparison: suited attendees, the signage and various folk ambling around looking lost.
With a baby in tow, how were Schonle or her intended networkers supposed to focus on discussing how Humanvantage AI empowers human excellence through conversational AI-powered role-play? And if she landed new clients on the strength of how gorgeous her baby was, well, that would be unfair and cause chaos.
There are reasons we have offices and reasons why, post-Covid, many workers are being told to get back to them.
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