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Independent Singapore
13 hours ago
- Independent Singapore
‘She uses it while cooking': Employer says her helper refuses to follow instructions regarding phone use
SINGAPORE: Frustrated that her helper refuses to follow her instructions regarding phone use, a local employer took to social media to ask netizens for advice. In a post in the 'MDW in Singapore' Facebook group, the employer said, 'My helper has been using her phone as and when, chatting. I've told her to use it only during night rest time, [but] she has plenty of reasons.' 'She starts [using her phone] from 7:15 a.m., the minute my kids leave for school, and also uses it while cooking [or doing other chores], etc.' Unsure of what boundaries are reasonable, the employer asked the community whether the Ministry of Manpower (MOM) has any guidelines on phone use for domestic helpers. 'She's a human, not a programmable robot.' Unfortunately, instead of getting the advice she was looking for, the employer was met with plenty of criticism. Many netizens questioned why she was being so strict about her helper's phone use. 'This might not be what you want to hear, but why are you asking about MOM's guideline on phone usage? She's a human, not a programmable robot,' one comment read. 'As long as it doesn't interfere with her work or cause harm to the family or surroundings, maybe you can practice a bit of empathy.' Another said, 'If your company restricted you from using your phone to check on your family, friends, or your husband while you're at work, how would you feel?' Several domestic helpers also chimed in, sharing stories from their own experiences. 'I used to have that kind of employer who only lets me use my hand phone after work,' one helper wrote. 'I couldn't even talk to my son because he was already asleep by the time I finished. It really affected my mental health.' Another commented, 'I've experienced this kind of employer. I could only use my mobile during break time and bedtime. I did my job well, and I took care [of] her children well, but I felt lonely and unhappy.' They added, 'We want some freedom too. Keeping away the hand phone just makes us more triggered to use it! Better let us use and carry it. So that when [we] have an emergency, we can respond immediately.' Still, amid all the backlash, there were a handful of commenters who took the employer's side. One told her, 'Do set boundaries for phone usage. More phone usage means more unnecessary things you will eventually be faced with. You tell her off, or else you terminate her service and let her enjoy talking face-to-face in their home country.' Talk to your helper about phone use If your helper uses her phone while doing chores, Ms K Jayaprema, President of the Association of Employment Agencies (Singapore), recommends calmly explaining why some tasks need her full attention. For example, when she is cooking, a distraction could cause burns or fires. When caring for children or elderly family members, even a brief lapse in focus could lead to accidents. And when giving medication, a small mistake in dosage or timing could have serious consequences. By focusing the discussion on safety rather than control, you can help her understand that your concerns come from care for her well-being and the safety of the household. Read also: 'Female HENRYs, would you date down?' — Woman in her 30s wonders if other high-earning women would lower financial expectations for love
Independent Singapore
a day ago
- Independent Singapore
Employer catches maid taking selfies and using social media during childcare duties
SINGAPORE: An employer took to social media to share that her domestic helper had been taking selfies, making CapCut videos, and using social media while caring for her three-year-old toddler. In her post in the 'Direct Hire Transfer Singapore Maid / Domestic helper' Facebook group, the employer explained that her mother accidentally discovered this when she came across the helper's Facebook story. 'My mom shared the story with me, and honestly, I'm very upset and concerned. My child, who is an active 3-year-old toddler, was still awake at that time and under her care,' she wrote. 'What's frustrating is that she already has plenty of free time for personal use — so why choose to be on social media and take selfies during the exact time she's supposed to be caring for a child?' The employer further shared that her helper is rarely assigned nighttime duties with their child (only expected to assist) as they are very 'hands-on.' Unfortunately, on that particular night, the couple had to work late, so they left their child in the helper's care. They didn't expect, however, that the helper would do this. The employer said that when she and her husband hired her, they made it clear that their 'child's care should always be the top priority.' Seeking advice from the community, she wrote, 'How should I approach her about this incident? If I directly mention the Facebook post, I worry she might block us or make her account private, and we'll lose visibility altogether. I honestly feel stuck. Her loan period has ended, and I don't have extra budget to bring in a new helper at the moment.' 'I'm also seriously considering installing CCTV in the bedrooms now — strictly for child safety. The camera won't be aimed at her resting area, and I don't intend to monitor her sleep, but do I need to inform her in advance? Appreciate any advice, thank you,' she added. 'Remind her of her duties and responsibilities.' In the comments section, one netizen said, 'Usually, if helpers don't listen, I will let them go. However, I will still upfront tell her again, 'Do not use your phone when handling my child.' I am pretty sure your child is still safe in the room, just that she is not focusing on your child. Probably they watch the phone together.' Another said, 'Aya! How long is the video posted? Is it the whole hour that she was taking care of your child? Maybe only a few minutes, mah… does it mean she is not taking care of your child already?! You're just stressing yourself over simple things.' A third wrote, 'Madam, you don't need to bring your problem to social media. You and your helper can solve it. Talk to her and tell her that you are very upset and remind her of her duties and responsibilities. Give her another chance, and if she continues this kind of behavior, then you can take action.' A fourth added, 'I will just install CCTV for the sake of your child's safety. No matter what, when it comes to children, the employer must be firm.' Installing CCTVs According to the Ministry of Manpower's (MOM) website, employers may install CCTV cameras inside their homes, provided they inform their domestic helpers about the cameras and clearly specify their locations. MOM also requires that cameras not be installed in areas that could compromise the helper's privacy or modesty, such as sleeping quarters, changing rooms, and bathrooms. Read also: 'I know I can't overstep but…' — Woman anxious after BF's parents ask for large sum of money while he's still studying
Independent Singapore
2 days ago
- Independent Singapore
Maid says, ‘My employer makes me stand outside the eatery for 2-3 hours with just a glass of water while they nicely eat sitting inside'
SINGAPORE: In an interview with Asian Boss , a foreign domestic worker recounted a dining experience that had nothing to do with enjoying a good meal, but everything to do with enduring humiliation. 'When my employer takes me out to have their meal, they're eating inside [an eatery], but I am made to stand outside waiting for them, or I am to sit down in one corner while they finish eating,' she said, and her 'meal' that her employer gave her was just a single glass of water. 'They only give me water, and when one of the waiters [at the eatery] asked me, 'Why aren't you eating?' I am to say, 'I have already eaten at home before my employer brought me here.'' That was the script that was given to her to read out, just in case someone asks, all the while, she watched her employer and her family 'eat nicely' for two to three hours as they happily lingered over food with conversations. 'They really look [down] on us,' the helper expressed her sad feelings as she held back her tears. The Asian Boss street interview triggered an uproar in the comments section. Many Singaporeans expressed disbelief that such treatment still happens in 2025. 'As a Singaporean, I'm surprised that there are still Singaporeans who openly discriminate against domestic helpers or foreign workers… makes me wonder, what are the demographics of them? Are they the older folks or…?' one viewer wrote, curious for an answer. Another commenter shared a heartwarming counterpoint: 'My helper has been with my family for 34 years… having a helper taught me a great deal about empathy and gratitude.' Some pointed out that domestic helpers from the Philippines, Myanmar, and other countries often sacrifice their own comfort to send money home. 'In developed countries, most women spend the money they made for themselves, but for these women… they spend the money for their family first,' one commenter reflected. Yet, others emphasised the unspoken reality—that many helpers remain unable to fully speak, or rather, expose the dark truth for fear of losing their jobs. 'They could never be truly honest about how horrible these Singaporeans really treat them,' another viewer opined. This single story is part of a larger picture: While many employers treat helpers with fairness and kindness, accounts like this one highlight the persistence of old-fashioned prejudices that reduce helpers to 'the help' rather than human beings deserving equal dignity and respect. Watch the full Asian Boss report below to hear her story in her own words: In other news, another maid endured an even more degrading fate — her employer fed her nothing but chicken drumstick bones every day, telling her it was 'up to her' what she wanted to do with them. You can read her nothing short of a dehumanising, sad story here: Maid says, 'My employer feeds me with only chicken drumstick bones daily and tells me it's up to me what I want to do with it'
