'Women's right to reject marriage proposals rooted in Islam'

Express Tribune

30-07-2025

Islam grants every woman the right to accept or reject a marriage proposal without fear or coercion. The Constitution of Pakistan reinforces this right under its guarantees of personal liberty and choice. Yet across the country, a woman's refusal is often perceived not as autonomy, but defiance — a perceived insult that some men respond to with cruelty, violence, or even murder.
These views were expressed by religious scholars, activists, and experts while condemning violence against women as un-Islamic.
On June 2, 2025, Sana Yousaf was shot twice in the chest by Umar Hayat, a man whose repeated proposals she had declined.
In another recent case in Rawalpindi, 18-year-old Sidra Bibi was allegedly murdered on the orders of a local jirga after marrying a man of her choice.
Speaking to APP, Maulana Hafiz Muhammad Yasir Attari, a respected Islamic scholar, stated, "According to Shariah, a woman has full right to accept or reject a marriage proposal."
When asked how to seek her permission, the Prophet replied: "That she remains silent." This Hadith clearly establishes that a woman's consent is essential. No guardian (wali), family member, or tribal council has the authority to override her will.
"Rejection is not a sin," Maulana Yasir added. "It is not ingratitude or rebellion. Islam honours personal preferences and emotional compatibility. Saying 'no' is her Islamic right—lawful, protected, and sacred."
Condemning violence in the name of honour, he said, "Violence, honour killings, burning, and suffocation are un-Islamic, unjust, and condemned. Forgiveness by family does not legitimise murder under Shariah. The state must treat such acts as murder and terrorism and prosecute them accordingly."
In its July 2025 statement, the Pakistan Ulema Council declared that "Islam strictly prohibits honour killings. A woman has the full right to marry the man of her choice, and no violence or coercion is allowed."
Dr Sobia Khateeb, a clinical psychologist and psychosexual therapist, highlighted the emotional dynamics behind such violence.
"Rejection-driven violence reflects emotional immaturity and fragile masculinity. Boys are not taught how to handle rejection; they equate manhood with control," she said.
She stressed that legal reforms alone are insufficient. "We need to raise boys with emotional intelligence and trauma-informed care," she urged.
Rabbiya A Turkman, journalist and Deputy Editor of Risala Today, pointed out media bias in covering gender-based violence.
"When powerful people are involved, mainstream media goes silent. Gender-based violence is underreported. Thankfully, social media is stepping in to build public pressure and preserve historical records," she noted.
Muhammad Sanaullah Khan, an educationist at NUML University Islamabad, emphasised the transformative role of classrooms. "Educators must create safe spaces to discuss these issues. Through gender equality, consent education, and empathy, we can challenge deeply rooted stereotypes," he said.
Bushra Iqbal Hussain, CEO of Mahfooz Bachpan, criticised law enforcement agencies. "Police often assume the girl did something wrong. Threats, acid attacks, and character assassination follow. Girls live in fear — not just for themselves, but for their families," she said.
Hina Mushtaq, a student at COMSATS Islamabad, reflected on the generational struggle. "Whether we speak up depends on our environment. Fear of judgment silences many of us. But campuses that promote equality help students raise their voices," she said.
This is not just a legal crisis—it is a cultural one. These tragedies expose a toxic mix of patriarchal entitlement, legal loopholes, and silence from those in power. Laws mean little without enforcement. Honour means nothing when it costs lives.