I went to Donald Trump's birthday tank parade and already thinks he's a king
When Donald Trump came on stage for his birthday speech, the US Army band struck up a very familiar tune.
It wasn't one of the usual American patriotic hits - like Hail to the Chief.
And it wasn't his favourite intro song, Lee Greenwood's God Bless the USA - although Greenwood would perform that one live later.
No, Trump came on to My Country 'Tis of Thee. Which shares a tune which is better know by Brits as God Save The King.
As dogwhistles go, it was not subtle.
Trump's speech itself was unusually brief and largely apolitical - but the rest of the event couldn't have been more Pyongyang if he'd come on stage in a sheepskin leather jacket.
Over a couple of hours, 7,000 troops, dozens of tanks and other vehicles, swarms of helicopters and two robot dogs rolled, flew and ambled past Trump's podium as he apparently struggled to stay awake.
It was the kind of muscular display of might that America just doesn't do.
The last time this kind of military parade took place in Washington it was in celebration of the completion of Operation Desert Storm, back in the early 90s.
And that one had a good reason behind it - it was a celebration of a military victory.
This time it was so transparently just an excuse for an elderly wannabe hardman could look at his real life airfix models for the afternoon of his birthday.
And don't be trying to claim the celebrations of the US Army's 250th anniversary were already underway before Trump took office.
Because the original plan was just hold a festival in celebration - which still happened in the field next door. There was a rope climbing contest, a few choppers and tanks and vastly fewer MAGA hats.
The parade was for Trump's birthday, and anyone who thinks it wasn't didn't speak to many people who turned up to watch.
As it turns out, I did. Almost everyone mentioned Donald Trump before the Army when asked wha they were celebrating.
It was undeniably a spectacle. The scale of the hardware and he sacrifice of the troops was genuinely quite stirring.
And the firework display next to the Washington monument was a legit impressive display of American firepower.
Secretary of State Marco Rubio was visibly bored - at one point getting caught on camera yawning.
Even Trump himself - sitting between a gurning Defence Secretary Pete Hegseth an a scowling Melania throughout the parade - appeared to drop off a few times.
There also was a very weird moment towards the end as well, where Trump and Melania just stood in the middle of the stage for several minutes in silence, until a military officer appeared to tap Trump on the shoulder and suggest he might like to try leaving the stage.
Earlier, a man in a Stars and Stripes stetson had old me it was about time America put its might on display - because it would raise morale. Not just with the troops, but the public too.
You see, as well as being letting him play at being King - or perhaps playing Kim - it was transparently about hijacking American history and patriotism for MAGA. To make Donald Trump and a strong America he same thing in people's minds.
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And for the 70,000 or so people on the National Mall yesterday, it had been exceptionally successful.
For the rest of the country, maybe not so much. They'll have watched it on a split screen, juxtaposed with either footage of the hunt for a political assassin in Minnesota, or of protests against his authoritarian behaviour.
Or of a war in the Middle East that is showing up once again that his claims of being the "President of Peace" were absolute hogwash.
It's a fraught week for America.
And as Trump clutched his wife's pinkie and waddled off the sage, the sinister potential of what I'd just seen started to sink in.
Pictures and video by Humphrey Nemar
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