Women Are Sharing The Biggest Mistakes Men Make When Showing Interest, And One In Particular Was Repeated A Lot
1.
"Don't go overboard on the talking about sex... be able to talk about other things."
—aurora_ethereallight
"Like my Warhammer collection?"
—Pissedtuna
"Honestly, yes. One of my college friends had one, and none of us did, but it was endearing how much he was into it and fun to see him light up about painting little figures that took hours to dry."
—firefly0827
Related:
2.
"Lying that you like the same things we do."
—Fluid-Vacation-3172
"I had quite a few guys do this in the past. It always sucked because here I am falling for them, thinking we have so much in common. Then, after a while in the relationship, they start to get comfortable and now don't want to go anywhere we used to go or do anything we used to do because, 'Well, I don't actually like that band; I just liked you.' Like that's supposed to be romantic...so OK, I'm just supposed to accept this life now? What a waste of time for both people."
—Eshlau
3.
"Making sexist comments.
A lot of guys think variations of the comment, 'Most women are so dumb, but you're so smart!' is a compliment. It's not. Especially if you're complimenting me for knowing something basic. It suggests you don't engage many women in conversation."
—mauvebirdie
4.
"Making sexual innuendos to test boundaries when I don't know you."
—Medusa17251
5.
"Talking constant smack about their ex. Comparing us to their ex.
Like if it comes up in conversation, say what you need to say and move on. Don't punish us for what your ex did, bro. Heal up.
Also, bragging about how many other women are interested in you, how ✨lucky✨ I am to have been at the top of the list."
—Salt_Specialist_3206
6.
"Making it about looks, in a way that makes it obvious they're not really looking past that. You can usually tell because they're not complimenting your personality, taking interest in your hobbies, etc. It's just, 'You're so pretty,' 'Your body is so hot.' It can actually feel quite sad."
—highuptop
7.
"I remember when I first met my wife, we had an amazing date that lasted way longer than expected. A couple hours later she texted me asking if she'd scared me off. I was super interested, but didn't want to seem too interested, and she straightened me up real quick! Don't try to play it cool by not communicating."
—SgtGo
Related:
8.
"Not asking any questions and actually keeping the conversation going. Ridiculously basic but shocking how many men don't understand this, including the ones that show strong interest."
—ChemistryMean3876
"It's not just about showing interest; it's about making someone feel seen and heard. Asking questions, remembering little details, and being present... that's where the real foundation of trust and intimacy is built."
—SpacedGeek
9.
"Showing extreme jealousy over a girl you aren't even dating. My best friend had a small birthday party, and there were mostly people I knew, and some I didn't. A guy came up and told me I was very pretty and he liked my outfit. I said thank you and continued to see my friend. I started playing pool with her brother, and I looked up to see that same guy fuming and staring daggers at me. Bro, I don't know you? Why TF are you grilling me like that? It came off seriously unhinged because he did it the whole party every time I socialized with any of the guys."
—Glittering-Relief402
10.
"Not understanding the constraints that women face around safety. I was listening to a man talk about how frustrated he was that he wanted to pick up a first date in his car, and she wanted to meet him at the restaurant.
It's because she doesn't want to be trapped with you if you end up wanting to hurt her. She wants to have an escape. Some guys literally try to murder their dates. Dating can be very scary/dark for women."
—koolaid-girl-40
11.
"Making it sexual. I can't emphasize this enough. If you make it sexual before we meet, I'm immediately disappointed. Most of my experience post-divorce is dating online, and I cringe every time a guy has 'I love to cuddle' on his profile. Or we start talking, and within a paragraph, he's asking to give me a massage. Just talk to women like we're people, not sexual objects.
Adding onto this that I am very sexual and in no way avoid sex. But if I don't know you, I don't want to talk sex with you. Period."
—darksideofthesuburbs
Related:
12.
"Acting like being nice is a personality, then getting mad when you don't fall for them immediately."
—That_Purple288
"Or worse, a tactic. 'Here are some flowers and I held the door and said your grandma's hat looked nice. What, you don't feel a spark? F*** your grandma, that old b****!'"
—Hot-Prize217
13.
"I think a lot of men would do well to remember that they can easily overpower us, and we are always aware of that. So, fear is often present, and for good reason. Giving a woman some time to get to know you, and to see that you will be safe for her, is crucial for many women."
—Mountain_Jury_8335
"A small sample survey was done of women. They were asked to describe qualities of their 'best boyfriends.'
The responses were then put into a keyword bubble graph, where the more a word was used, the bigger it was.
'Safe' was one of the biggest words. Pretty eye-opening for me as a dude."
—Wessssss21
14.
"Trauma dumping on the first date."
—everlylennonn
15.
"I've noticed a lot of men try to 'sell' themselves — make a big deal about their accomplishments, basically finding any reason to brag or bring up nice or helpful things they've done for others, etc. Trying to impress their date.
But in reality, it just makes you look a bit narcissistic. It's off-putting. Let your personality show for itself! If a woman is on a date with you (especially if it's your second+ date), she has some interest in you already; you don't have to force it."
—bingocatswithhats
16.
"Never disagreeing with me.
It's suspicious and it's a red flag that you're not being honest."
—LizardPossum
Related:
17.
"I don't want a show, I don't want bravado. I'm not a damsel in distress; I don't need to be fixed.
Accept me for who I am, and don't try to change me to fit your narrative.
Be genuine, listen. Your efforts do not have to be grand, maybe you heard her say that her favorite color is X and you'll bring her something that color."
—DreadPriratesBooty
18.
"I hear/ see a lot of guys think dating is some sort of formula or game. They think if they check boxes like having a job or being in shape, then women will automatically be interested. And that if they 'say the right things' or make them seem a certain type of way, that will result in a relationship/sex/attention.
In reality, that's manipulation. Women want to date someone they have an actual connection with. Not someone who just says what they think women want to hear."
—shaylaa30
19.
"Not the 'biggest' mistake, but if he won't let me pay for my own coffee or meal on the first date, there will not be a second.
I don't like feeling like I 'owe' people things, and I don't like it when a guy is more interested in Correctly Performing Manliness than he is in listening to a simple 'no thank you.'"
—ThatInAHat
"This so much. Basic human politeness (taking no for an answer, etc.) > Chivalry."
—Mundane_Caramel60
20.
"Faking a friendship. So many men treat friendships with women as stepping stones for a sexual/romantic relationship, and it's gross for two reasons: It shows that they value us only in those terms, and it shows a very deep-rooted dishonesty. If you want to pursue something sexual, say it, and if the woman isn't interested in that and you aren't interested in a genuine friendship, move the f*** along."
—eleanorlikesvodka
21.
"Pretending you want a relationship when you just want sex. Be honest. Sometimes that is all women want, too, and you're more likely to:
a.) Find the women who want the same faster... And TBH, sometimes FWB will be more likely because it still needs to be based on respect and attraction to last, even when casual.
b.) Stop wasting EVERYONE'S time by revealing that, after leading someone on...then turning them off by going overtly sexual and thinking that will work."
—and12345go
22.
"Making weird jokes too soon. Could a serial killer joke be funny after we've been dating and watched the documentary together? Sure. Is it funny on the first date when you're driving me somewhere in the dark on our first date? F*** no."
—yellowjacket1996
Do you have any more to add? If so, use the anonymous form below, or just let us know in the comments!
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