Holy smoke! Could Hamilton be doubling as Gotham City?
While dining out, David noticed a large group at the next table, and couldn't help overhearing a complicated tale involving a woman who had apparently dressed up as a nun.
"She wis quite old," explained the narrator of the story. "And she'd a face that wid scare cats oot o' a midden".
Our impressed correspondent marvels at this memorable turn of phrase, and says to the Diary: 'See Glasgow? See poetry?'
Difficult for dummies
Wise words from reader James Nester: 'A smart person can fake stupidity, but a stupid person can't fake smartidity.'
Rocky road
The infuriating aspect of the glorious weather is that you end up feeling guilty if you don't trudge out of the house every morning to experience the great outdoors, even though you'd rather stay at home with the curtains drawn, slumped on the sofa and snaffling an entire pack of Choc Ices.
The teenage son of Chris Graham was packing a rucksack so he could climb Ben Lomond with some chums the following day, and he was clearly in a grumpy mood about the forthcoming adventure.
'It's rocky and it's bumpy and I'm not interested in the view from the top,' he snarled. 'I don't even want to see the view from the bottom.'
'Text your pals and tell them it's not your kind of thing, so you don't want to go,' suggested Chris, believing this was a reasonable position to take.
'No way!' said his shocked son.
'Why not?' asked Chris,
'Because,' his son patiently explained, 'it was my idea to climb Ben Lomond.'
Cloth ears
During a church service, reader Karen Hall heard the minister quote the biblical phrase: 'Don't store your treasures on Earth'.
Karen's husband, who had clearly been catching some shut-eye during the service, woke and whispered to Karen: 'I don't get it. Why shouldn't you store your trousers on Earth?'
Bobbing around
While studying law at Glasgow University, reader Steve Buchan shared a flat with a bloke who rarely washed, and spent his time in bed strumming an acoustic guitar.
Perhaps inevitably, he was known to one and all as Slob Dylan.
Mum's the word
'I bought a lettuce from a grocery store called Mamas and Papas,' reports reader Nicola Williams. 'Unfortunately I can't eat it because all the leaves are brown…'
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Daily Mirror
5 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
JoJo Siwa says Chris Hughes 'makes everything better' as he helps her beat fear
The couple who met on ITV reality show Celebrity Big Brother have been enjoying a visit to the Cotswolds, where they toured the stables run by Grand National and Cheltenham Gold Cup-winning trainer Jonjo O'Neill JoJo Siwa has told her followers that Chris Hughes 'makes everything better' after they visited some of his favourite places. The pop star, 22 and ex-Love Island contestant have started dating after meeting on the set of Celebrity Big Brother. After a trip to Mexico to support Dance Moms star Jojo, where she was performing and celebrating her birthday, Chris was keen to show his new partner the Cotswolds. The 32-year-old grew up on a farm in the area and he has had a long association with racing stable Jackdaws Castle, where Grand National and Cheltenham Gold Cup-winning trainer Jonjo O'Neill is based. Chris, who rides out on the gallops when time allows, took Jojo on a tour of the yard - and started to help her overcome her fear of horses. In an Instagram post sharing pictures of the trip, Jojo was seen stroking a pony in a field, with the caption: "Touching a horse for the first time in 8 years (since I was thrown off one during a filming I've been scared to be around them haha loved this though after I warmed up!).' Chris was keen to show Jojo how gentle horses can be at O'Neill's yard, with the pair posing for a picture next to a thoroughbred he rode, showing his talents in the saddle. READ MORE: ITV racing pundit Kevin Blake correctly predicts 8,000-1 Derby tricast with big race 1-2-3 In 2018 he trained to be a jockey for the Best Western Hotels & Macmillan Ride of their Lives charity race at York, where he steered Carnageo into fifth place. "Gorgeous boy riding a gorgeous horse," Jojo said, with an image of Chris heading up the gallops at Jackdaws, which has state-of-the-art facilities including a swimming pool and solarium for thoroughbred horses. On the same visit, Chris was seen leading Jojo towards the stables to meet the racers, who have their names on the wall next to each box. A friend of the O'Neill family, Chris became besotted with a mare named Annie Mc, who raced in the Marsh Novices' Chase at the 2020 Cheltenham Festival. The reality TV star has worked as an ambassador for bookmakers Coral and they owned her through the firm's racing club. Annie Mc won seven times, including a Grade Two event and two races at Listed level, performances Chris and the members were proud of. After a win at Warwick in February 2021, he tweeted: "I'm gone, emotional wreck. Pure heart. Shaking. I love you so much Annie, you've my heart forever. Superstar. Jumps racing gets you like this. Best sport in the world." Chris has seen Annie Mc at Carisbrooke Stud, where she was retired to become a broodmare and gave birth to a foal by Doctor Dino. On a rainy day, Chris patted the now 11-year-old former chaser and kissed his "legend" on the nose in one clip. "She fills our hearts with happiness, win, lose or draw and she's just such a special, genuine mare to be involved with," he said previously. "She's one in a lifetime and all of us connected are so proud. Heart of a lion." As well as spending time with horses, Chris and Jojo went to Broadway, enjoying coffee and breakfast on the trip as their relationship continues to blossom. "Nothing beats wholesome & pure days like these," Jojo added on Instagram.
Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Daily Mail
JEFF PRESTRIDGE: NatWest leaves tourist hotspot without a single bank branch
A friend Chris recently spent a few days in the Lake District – I'm going up there myself for some walking and wild-swimming in a month's time and I can't wait. When he emailed to tell me how his trip had gone, he attached some pictures. Not of glorious mountains or stunning tarns, but of two bank premises – one rather pristine and the other long shut. I wasn't surprised. Chris knows all about my borderline fetish for bank branches, especially those housed (or previously housed) in magnificent buildings as befitting their once proud role as pillars of communities. 'Saw this strange sight on my trip,' he explained. 'It looked like an open branch of NatWest in a busy town but I might have been hallucinating.' Tongue in cheek, he added: 'I better not say where it is in case the head office hitmen realise it's still open and shut it.' Chris went on to say: 'The other building in the same town looked like an old bank but it was 'to let'. The nearby bus stop was called 'Barclays', which might have been a clue as its previous occupant.' Well, I knew straight away the location of the NatWest branch because I've run and walked past it countless times while staying in nearby Ambleside over the years. It's located at the top of Windermere, not far from the railway station I disembark at when visiting the Lakes. As for the 'to let' property, Chris was right – it was a Barclays branch until 2022, when it shut. Yet sadly, Chris seems to have been hallucinating after all – because NatWest had closed the Windermere branch a couple of weeks before his holiday. It leaves the town, a popular tourist hotspot, without one single bank (the nearest ones are now seven miles away in Kendal – a tortuous journey at the best of times). Before Barclays complains, I dismiss its 'local' service which operates out of the town's library once a week and opens for five hours. Given cash and cheque transactions are not catered for, I'm not sure what banking purpose it serves. It's nigh on superfluous – banking window-dressing. You would have thought that bankless Windermere would now be ripe for a banking hub: a community bank which customers of all the big banking brands can use. Unlike Barclays' 'locals', hubs are cash-friendly, provide basic banking services and are key for small businesses (retailers especially) wishing to deposit cash. Yet the town hasn't passed muster. A hub can be set up only if cash machine network Link, acting on behalf of the big banks that fund them, thinks it is necessary. And according to its assessment of the town's banking services, Windermere can survive without one. The local population, Link says, has access to banking services via two post offices – and access to cash via three ATMs. It's a baffling decision which I can't quite get my head around. Whatever season it has been when I've visited, the town has always been bustling. And I'm not the only one left baffled. Tim Farron, Liberal Democrat MP for Westmorland and Lonsdale, is appalled that, outside of Kendal, there are now no bank branches in his constituency – and no replacement hubs in towns abandoned by the banks – the likes of Ambleside, Coniston and now Windermere. Earlier this year, after the NatWest closure in Windermere was announced, he said: 'We desperately need banking hubs so locals, especially elderly and vulnerable people, have access to face-to-face banking services.' Last Thursday, MPs raised similar concerns in a backbench debate in the House of Commons on banking hubs and branch closures. Ian Lavery, Labour MP for Blyth and Ashington, led the way. He is frustrated that a community request to get a hub in Bedlington, Northumberland, was recently knocked down by Link. Other MPs referred to bankless towns in their constituencies where hubs had not been approved. Link says the rollout of 160 hubs has resulted in 1.6 million people having local access to banking services (within three miles) that otherwise would not be available. Adrian Roberts, Link deputy chief executive, told me: 'Cash is proving key in the event of system failures and cyber attacks. That's why we need a resilient national cash access network that serves everyone, and why we have a key role in recommending new services including ATMs and banking hubs. We've recommended 226 hubs to date and expect many more.' Labour wants 350 up and running before 2029. Behind the scenes, there is a fierce debate going on about hubs. Some say they should not be introduced into towns where they would undermine the role of the Post Office in providing local banking services – in effect, hubs run by the Post Office – as that would cannibalise the existing businesses of sub-postmasters. Others warn that if Link was pushed into taking a more relaxed approach to approving hubs, some could subsequently close as a result of a lack of local demand for their services. Something that would be hugely embarrassing for Link and for Labour. However, some believe hubs are too restricted in what services they can provide – and that the rules should now be eased to broaden their appeal. Unless this happens, they say many hubs will struggle to survive. The road ahead for banking hubs will not be without its twists and turns, that's for sure. But the fact remains: Windermere still needs a banking hub. Sink or swim for Reeves' cash Isas plan Cash Isas are more popular than ever. The latest Bank of England figures show £14 billion was deposited inside these mini tax havens in April – that is the largest monthly amount since the 'Old Lady' started collating data on them in 1999. The fact they are all the rage is not because of juicy interest rates – these have been heading down this year. It is primarily a result of Rachel from Accounts, our splendid Chancellor (tongue firmly in cheek), wanting to clip their wings. The result is a mad scramble for cash Isas while stocks last. In recent months, Ms Reeves has let it be known that she wants to reduce the annual maximum that can be deposited inside a cash Isa from £20,000 to £4,000. In future, only investors, she has hinted, will be able to use the full £20,000 annual allowance. All part of her broader mission to help boost the UK stock market and raise capital for British businesses and massive infrastructure projects. But nearly everyone I have spoken to on this Isa makeover believes it's a nutty idea, impacting on the prudent, young and old. It's why we launched our 'Hands Off Our Cash Isas' campaign. Let's hope Rachel from Accounts sees sense. If she does, I vow to go up to Loughrigg Tarn in the Lake District and, irrespective of water temperature, swim 20 (not 20,000) victory lengths.
The Guardian
28-05-2025
- The Guardian
The North review – old friends' trek through the Highlands might be the ultimate hiking film
Shot on Scotland's West Highland Way and Cape Wrath Trail and telling the story of two friends who walk those 600km, Bart Schrijver's majestic second feature is perhaps the ultimate hiking film. Measuredly paced to let us fully sink into the experience, it understands the rhythms and mental accommodations of long-distance walking; even in its awareness of how its pair of protagonists position themselves on the trail and when they rest, it acknowledges the need for solitude and locating inner truths that often drives these undertakings. Its revelations and epiphanies arise at their own pace, never forced. Lapsed buddies Chris (Bart Harder) and Lluis (Carles Pulido) are reconnecting, backpacks in tow, after 10 years apart. Dutch and Latino respectively, life has taken them in different directions. Chris, judging by the office calls he frequently fends off, is a hectic modern professional, whose next project is kids with his girlfriend. Lluis, on the other hand, doesn't want them and is, in fact, not sure what he wants; he has ditched his job shooting wedding videos and is now looking to find his creativity. Despite the catch-up time, their basic outdoor stances hint at a more profound divergence: Chris lapping up each new vista, Lluis masochistically trudging on. After 2022's Arctic trek Human Nature, Schrijver is well into his directorial stride. Chris and Lluis often appear as minute figures traversing valleys and crags, and – putting human drama into perspective – what we learn about their lives is measured out in sips of spare, allusive dialogue. The director also resists dealing in too much pathetic fallacy; this foreboding landscape is indifferent to the characters' feelings. Big disclosures – about Lluis's health, or a beach breakdown that hints that Chris isn't as stable as he appears – arrive as suddenly as a wild panorama over a hillcrest. Nor is it certain these moments are transformative in the manner of mainstream drama; there and gone as suddenly as the girl walker who likes screaming into the void, they don't necessarily mean more than anything else in nature. Perhaps the film's innate trajectory means Schrijver doesn't strive as hard as he might in search of a structure. But The North has a kind of purifying and uplifting effect that builds as the hikers approach their destination; a reminder for those interested in cinema going the distance, how the medium – in its commitment, immersion and focus – reaches altitudes TV can't touch. The North is on from 31 May.
