And so the feeling grows: why this man hates The Wets

The Herald Scotland

09-07-2025

Reader Carrie Martin was a big fan during the band's glory years of pop pomp.
Her father, an English teacher, hated the group.
'Is it the songs?' Carrie once asked him. 'Or the way Marti Pellow smiles?'
None of the above, it transpired.
'The bad grammar drives me nuts,' admitted Carrie's dad. 'Three wets, and not a comma to separate them.'
Busted beastie
Tennis fan David Donaldson and his wife Marion were watching Wimbledon on telly when a wee sleekit intruder appeared from under the couch.
'Knowing Marion has an irrational fear of mice,' says David, 'I grabbed the nearest object and threw it at it, to scare it off.
'Unfortunately my aim was too good, and the leather-bound Filofax hit it fair and square. The result was the first mouse ever to have been killed by information overload.'
Food for thought
The Herald recently reported that MPs Jeremy Corbyn and Zarah Sultana are launching a new left-wing party.
Peter Wright from West Kilbride says: 'Every party needs really good treats, and a sultana is a very necessary ingredient to make an excellent fruitcake.'
Gordon Casely is thrilled with this new method of scheduling, and tells us he is eagerly looking forward to the 10 o'clock news at 11. (Image: Contributed)
Rhyme time
Some people claim ignorance is bliss, and Bob Wallace from Pollokshields agrees.
During schooldays at Dalry High, Bob and his buddies had a favourite phrase.
Every notable achievement, for example a well-taken playtime goal, was met with the cry: "A thing of beauty is a joy forever, as the poet said."
Nobody had a clue who the poet might be, and the gang rejoiced in their lack of knowledge.
Then one day a swotty type announced to one and all: 'Actually, the poet was Keats."
Says Bob: 'That was the day we stopped quoting poetry. Some of us forever.'
Name that tune
Classical music fan Gavin Brodie was once at a concert attended by a minor member of the royal family.
When this dignitary entered the hall the musicians started playing the first few chords of the national anthem.
'I know this tune,' said Gavin's girlfriend of the time, sitting beside him, and not a great expert on music of any kind. 'Isn't it the James Bond theme?'
Monstrous mix-up
An archaeological correction from reader Fiona Metcalf, who tells us: 'Remember, folks. Dinosaurs did not "rule the Earth'" They just hung around on the planet. Stop giving them credit for administrative skills they almost certainly didn't possess.'