The moment I knew: I worried he was a playboy, then a friend reassured me

The Guardian

14-06-2025

During Melbourne's sixth lockdown in 2021, I was bored out of my mind in my suburban sharehouse and craving connection. I'd been following an Instagram account for a drag performer called Iva Rosebud at the behest of a mutual friend who felt our work was similar.
I'd been watching them from a distance for some time when one Friday night a message arrived suggesting a collaboration. Obviously it piqued my interest; it's not like I had anything else to do – who knew how long the lockdown would go on for?
I said I'd be keen to talk more and was instantly invited for 10am mimosas in the park. I knew then I was dealing with a kindred spirit.
The following day was sunny and crisp as I arrived in the park excited to meet a new friend.
Lachie was wearing sunnies and a singlet with a shirt over the top that draped off his shoulder. He looked like a skater, so too-cool-for-school. But I knew from Instagram he could also be this incredibly glamorous woman. I didn't quite know what to make of the juxtaposition, but I was intrigued.
We lay on the grass, listening to Ella Fitzgerald and eating buttery croissants and delicious pastries. Well, I thought they were delicious; he gave me some sass for buying them at a supermarket while he had invested in a very nice bottle of sparkling (I'd come to learn his father is a wine chemist, so he had an advantage).
We discussed jazz, golden era movies and the one-woman show Elaine Stritch at Liberty, which he'd watched at least 10 times. He was really passionate about it! The conversation flowed easily, the feels were feeling and then he asked if I wanted to go back to his to watch it.
He assured me we wouldn't break any Covid rules, but suffice to say we didn't make it far into the film before social distancing became an abstract concept.
We met up again two days later, then again the day after. The following weekend we had back-to-back engagements for four days. After two weeks of being in each other's pockets I was really falling for him, and I realised I needed to get an outside perspective on who I was getting so close to so quickly.
At yet another park hang, this time with our friend Chris – the one who had encouraged me to connect with Iva Rosebud in the first place – Lachie arrived with a stunning bouquet of native flowers for me. It was the first time a suitor had given me flowers. I was touched, but also thought it might just be a move from his playbook.
As soon as he took a bathroom break I pounced on Chris to give me the skinny. He assured me that Lachie, who he'd known for years, was no playboy and was in fact a hopeless romantic.
Chris's reassurance was all I needed to jump headlong into things with Lachie. We kind of did the lesbian thing after that and coupled up very quickly.
Lachie's honest and generous nature is what I love most about him, not least because it brings those things out in me too. I think I knew somewhere between the third mimosa and the opening number of Elaine Stritch that Lachie was the one for me, I just couldn't believe he was for real.
Three and half years later I can confirm Lachie is in fact a hopeless romantic and very committed and loving partner. We have a beautiful life; collaborating on our shows and living together in Melbourne. We have a whole room dedicated to our drag costumes, and we recently got a puppy whom we co-parent with our friend, burlesque performer Kate Foster. Lachie spends a lot of time making the garden beautiful. And he still brings me flowers.
Jens Radda performs as Skank Sinatra at Qtopia Sydney from 14-22 June
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