Adults Got Candid About Sleeping With People Who Were "Taken", And I'm At A Loss For Words

Yahoo

14 hours ago

Recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell us what it was like to have sex with someone else's "exclusive" partner, and nobody held back the truth. Here's what they had to say:
Note: Responses have been edited for length and clarity
1."After bedding three of my friend's wives and being caught every time, I adapted the thought that 'if it hadn't been me, it would have been a stranger. They were gonna cheat anyway.' I destroyed the friendships and marriages. Since those episodes, I tell any acquaintance that are married that they can trust me with their kids, money, and cars, BUT never trust me with their spouses. They usually laugh it off. I feel awful that a little fun caused so much damage to so many, and I lost so many good people because of my actions."
—youngwitch98
2."I met a married man at a party when I was 50 and he was 65. It was pretty much love at first sight. He was the man I had wanted to meet my whole life, and I believe we were meant to meet. We were together for 15 years, traveled all over during those years, and they were the best years of my life. He's been gone for 17 years, and I miss him daily. People do fall in love, passionately, at an older age."
—Anonymous, 80, Arizona
3."He told me he was separated and getting divorced when we started dating. I stupidly took him at his word and didn't ask the questions I needed to when, after months, the story started changing. I was already attached and didn't want to do anything to make him mad at me. It should have been a red flag right there that I felt I couldn't ask important questions. Slowly, he started telling me closer to the truth. 'We're not getting divorced now because of the kids, but we're living separate lives, etc.' Still took his word for that. Finally, after about 6-7 months, I find out they're still sleeping in the same bed and taking trips together."
"Do I feel bad about it? No, not really. I'm not the one who made a marriage vow. I also wasn't privy to the truth in the beginning. Had I known he was not separated, I wouldn't have started the relationship in the first place. I cannot be responsible for someone else's lies. I did eventually tell his wife, though."
—heroicclown76
4."Honestly, I never felt badly nor did I think it was a big deal. I don't believe in monogamy."
—fabcactus808
5."We worked together in a 24-hour operation. Spending so much time together brought us closer. We were both married but unhappy with our sex lives. We both had very high libidos, and our spouses basically had no libido at all. We were working a 4 to 12 shift by ourselves, side by side, and we're in close contact. I thought I felt our sexual energy and took a chance and kissed her. She kissed me back. We ended up having sex in an empty office that had a lock, so we could not be caught. We always scheduled our shifts together off hours when there were few people around and had sex a few times a week. Neither of us felt guilty because our partners ignored us. Eventually, I left the company, but the lady I was having sex with all the time ended up being a client. Our first face-to-face meeting after leaving the company, she invited me to her office and had amazing sex just before we were meeting with a larger group."
—quizzycan264
6."The last man I dated really was separated (and that marriage was 100% over; she cheated), but I'm not doing that ever again. No matter how much someone truly wants a divorce, there's still an adjustment period, and I really do not like being the rebound."
—naraniel
7."I've known a few bisexual married men. Some are closeted bi's. Some are in open marriages. Overall, I quit messing with bi males by the time I was 30, especially if they were married. Too much drama and heartache. Plus, I'm married now, and I take my vows to my husband of 16 years seriously. Do I feel guilty for it? Nope. I wasn't the one cheating or hiding my truth. I do feel much empathy for them, though. Bisexuals and their needs are highly overlooked and dismissed. They are not gay in hiding. They genuinely enjoy both sexes. They were born that way, just as I was born gay or others straight. Honestly, a few would cry because they did love their wives and their family life, but had other desires that their wives couldn't fulfill. Lives of quiet desperation is painful to see."
—emounicorn767
8."Since I am going to hell, of course, I have more than one. As a 20-something, I hooked up with a married guy who had kids and took me home to meet his wife. I feel bad now, but I thought nothing of it at the time. In my 40s, I hooked up with my first ever boyfriend ever and a friend of mine was friends with his old lady, who asked me to leave that situation alone. I didn't. Ruined that friendship. It was a great time, but I did her a favor; he was a loser."
—Anonymous, 52, Ohio
9."I am sleeping with a close friend's son or daughter-in-law. (I said it like that so it isn't too specific.) We met at a gathering and immediately hit it off. It's been about six months and I have to say, I don't feel guilty. I worry of my friend finding out, because they were super irritated we got along so well right away. But sometimes things just happen that are out of your control. They say you can't help who you love — not saying I'm in love, but sometimes people just hit it off."
—Anonymous, 38, NC
10."Took my wife's best friend and her kids away to London for a night to go see a show. I know London well, and this was their first time. Kids slept in the double bed, and we shared the sofa bed in the living room. Middle of the night, I woke up with her hand around my member. She didn't say anything, just carried on. She then gave me some oral sex again, and not a word was said. She brought me to climax and cleaned up, then she turned away from me and went to sleep. We have never mentioned this to each other or our spouses. We will meet up as a couple of families a few times a year without anything happening again. I still think about that night a lot!"
—Anonymous, 39, Scotland
11."Had an affair for over 20 years with a former colleague. He was(is) extremely selfish, moving to another state without telling me, and then moving back to continue the affair. Emotional vampire to his core. Dropped him 12 years ago, but saw him recently looking pudgy and aged (poorly). The only thing he had to say was, 'I sure loved f'ing you.' Nothing about how good I looked. Nothing about my life accomplishments. Just the sex."
—Anonymous, 55, Seattle
12."During my single 30s, I had affairs with at least six married women (probably more), and I was never the instigator. Never felt guilty, as they all told a variation of the same story: Their husbands either stopped paying attention to their sexual needs or were just plain dismissive of their physical appearance. All they wanted was to feel desired by someone or to experience something other than missionary position sex that lasted longer than 30 seconds. There's a lesson to be learned here by all inattentive spouses: pay attention to what your spouse needs. Fortunately, these affairs played out before we ever got caught."
—Anonymous, 55 somewhere in the southeast
13."I'm married, and I hooked up with a married woman. Both of us were in relationships where our partners stopped being sexually interested in us. But neither of us was interested in leaving our partners. Honestly, the hottest sex of my life, and I don't regret it for a second. We both needed it, and it was such an amazing feeling to be desired for once. Only did it once, but totally worth it."
—Anonymous, 38, Virginia
14."I'm married but have been in a fully 'dead bedroom' for years. I actively went looking for someone in the same situation for discretion reasons. It was awkward for both of us at first, but actually getting to have sex again was amazing, and the sex with him was great! Neither of us regretted anything about it, and we'd still be meeting up if he and his family hadn't moved out of state."
—Anonymous, 42 Colorado
15."So, not a spouse but a close best friend. I ended things with my fiancé, then slept with my best friend's brother. We weren't on speaking terms at the moment because of the engagement break-off. She was married to my ex's cousin. It was a weird time. Anyway, we hooked up, and a couple years later, I told her about it. We are over it now and just don't talk about it. We are close friends again."
—Anonymous
16."I had an affair that lasted several years with a married man. He had been cheating on his wife well before I hooked up with him. He had a child outside his marriage with a woman well before I started with him. He and his wife have children. I figured he is a fuck boy with broken vows. She knows he cheats and doesn't seem to care as long as the bills are paid. His wife never left him, and she knows about his cheating. She tolerates it, so he keeps doing it. He is a jackass to her. Honestly, it was great sex without the commitment. For a short while, I had feelings for him, but they quickly faded. Now I just use him when it's convenient for me. Oh, and he is still married. He is a worthless piece of shit for sure. It's almost comical at this point."
—Anonymous
17."When I was in college, I met a married woman at a friend's party. She lived in New Hampshire, and I lived in Rhode Island. Nothing happened at that first meeting. But my friends and I rented a beach house, and my friend's sister brought the woman I had met. We hit it off again, we were drinking and talking, and we had a lot in common. She went to the bathroom, and when she came back, she kissed me passionately, and we ended up doing some mild sexual things. We reconnected a few weeks later, I lost my virginity to her. We had a relationship while she was still married to a verbal abuser. I thought I was her white knight, saving her. She did leave her husband but went back to him after a couple of months. She broke my heart, but I was incredibly guilty and ended up confessing to a priest."
—Anonymous, 56 CT
18."Immediately after? I didn't care cause she was supposedly ending it with him and didn't want him anymore and wanted me. Months later, when it still hadn't happened but finally did after we had an argument where she cried and confessed her love for me? I was pissed but then elated cause it was finally real. Years later, after we broke up and she went back to him? I feel like a flippin' clown."
—Anonymous, 46 NV
19."I'm actually a POS because I am currently fooling around with two men who are in a long-term relationship. The first one didn't tell me he was in a LTR until a couple of months into our relationship. I had his baby. The second one, straight up said to me, 'I'd love to have an affair with you!' There are times when I feel like a horrible person. I tell myself I need to stop seeing them, but it doesn't happen. I enjoy their company, and both are INCREDIBLE in bed."
—Anonymous, 36 Edmonton AB
20."We met when he returned some tax papers to me. He said, 'If there is anything I can do for you,' and with his hand on my shoulder, he repeated 'anything.' I laughed and replied that I was flattered. He returned another time and said, 'I sure wish you'd change your mind.' My mind went to why not... my husband's cheated on me, and I was always faithful. I knew he was married, but I deserved a fling. The fling lasted seven years. I grew to love him so but never told him. He died. I was 73. Being with him was wonderful. His wife was no angel."
—Anonymous, I was 13 years older than he.
21."I never believed in 'love at first sight' until I applied for a job and the interviewer (who would be my boss) walked into the room. It was an electrifying and terrifying moment. After starting the job, I noticed he successfully flirted with most of the women, including me. Fast forward, in my dizzy state of 'I would do anything for you,' we were sleeping together regularly. He was 20 years older, and I bought his story that he was unhappy, leaving his wife, and had already moved out. So many heartaches and two wasted years later, I realized it was all a sham. He would talk about 'our future family', which I dreamed about regularly. A male coworker informed me that he had had a vasectomy years ago. Two other female coworkers confided in me that he was also sleeping with them. No shock that it took years to trust anyone with a hanging down thing."
—Anonymous, 68 Cincinnati Oh
22."We were both married, but I had more of an open marriage with my husband. He started out as a customer of mine, and we were friends for five years before anything happened. He slowly started flirting with me, but I really wasn't interested because he wasn't my type, but his persistence paid off. What started out as just a fling developed into love for both of us. We did get caught from his wife after one year and getting caught did not stop either of us, it went on for four more years until we got caught again and finally ended it, which in hindsight was a good thing because my husband got sick and passed away in a matter of a couple of months and I could give all my attention to him in his final days and I don't regret anything."
—Anonymous, 58 Milwaukee WI
23."Part of me felt like I was fulfilling his need to be a good husband and father. A lot of this is because I grew up in a broken home in the 80s, and I guess I thought you could either love your spouse or sleep with them, you couldn't do both. I knew I was broken and didn't want anything more than to feel like I was helping a household be together. I was there during that short time while he was frustrated, and I know how screwed it is, looking back. But I hope he got it out of his system and started talking to her."
—Anonymous, DC
Whoa. Now, if you feel compelled to share your stories about sleeping with a married person or somebody in a relationship, tell us what happened in the comments. Or, if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use the form below: