
‘The diagnosis of my spinal tumour is terminal... I aim to prove them wrong'
At the end of 2024 Belfast man Matthew Starkey had so much to look forward to.
A new teaching job, a new home, a new car and the prospect of getting married to his fiancée.
But what started out as a seemingly innocuous football injury sent his life down a path he never could have imagined.
He is still looking forward, but the 32-year-old's plans never included gruelling treatment for cancer.
The prognosis isn't good. Doctors say he may have just a year. But positivity remains.
He's not sitting back, despite spending more than a month in hospital since March rather than teaching at St Colman's Sixth Form College in Ballynahinch, after his temporary contract was made permanent.
Indeed, everything about his situation since that moment has been fast.
'Life's really throwing everything at me,' he said.
While Matthew, who teaches business, IT and PE at St Colman's, will remain in hospital until his round of intensive treatment ends, he's ready to throw everything back at life once he gets out — starting with getting into his new home with fiancée Carrie Fleming.
By September he hopes to take part in the Belfast Half Marathon in a wheelchair to raise funds for the Friends of the Cancer Centre.
He said: 'A couple of months ago I was an able-bodied man, I went to the gym four times a week.
'I'd been playing seven-a-side football and came home with a sore leg. I thought I must have pulled a muscle.
'When the pain refused to go away you think of things like deep vein thrombosis.
'My foot was discoloured, the veins in my leg were standing out.'
Several visits to the doctor followed, and eventually a collapsed valve at the top of his leg was diagnosed.
It was corrected, other tests were clear, but the pain just refused to go away.
'I just felt something was wrong,' he said.
'I can remember buying flowers for Carrie before Valentine's Day and completely losing control of my right leg, falling into the window of the shop.'
It got to the stage where Matthew couldn't walk.
'I had shocking pain, I couldn't go to the toilet, my stomach was so large I looked pregnant,' he explained.
'On February 13 my mum took me to hospital. I had an MRI scan and that's when they found a 3cm tumour through my spinal cord which would require urgent surgery.'
He was operated on the next day, St Valentine's Day.
'I had been planning to ask Carrie to marry me, maybe in a year or so. In March I just went for it. We got engaged.'
But a day after she said 'yes', the pain returned to his leg. A further MRI scan revealed the news he had been dreading.
Just three weeks after his surgery, the tumour had grown back. Matthew has been in hospital since March 16.
'I've just completed 20 of the 30 treatments — I'm told I have been responding well,' he said.
As he undergoes his ordeal, Carrie has been busy, with a wedding set for June and changes made to the house they bought together.
There's also a wish-list of memories he wants to make — places to visit and things to do.
Central to it all is fundraising for cancer charities, with one of his main targets the Belfast event in September.
His wheelchair effort, he hopes, can contribute to his aim of raising £100,000.
There's also those nuptials in the summer, and dreams of foreign travel.
Matthew added: 'We both love Italy and have been there separately. We'd love to go together.
'And we're looking into going to see the Northern Lights. It's the medical insurance that's the real problem.'
A GoFundMe page has raised more than £40,000 and a training schedule has been drawn up to get ready for the half marathon.
Along with Carrie, Matthew said his parents have been hugely supportive.
'My mum Fiona had breast cancer a few years ago and has been right with me through all of this,' he explained.
'We've beaten cancer as a family before and we can do it again.'
That positive, can-do attitude shines through.
'I might not make it back to school before the summer, but I plan to be there in September,' he said.
In the meantime he'll be rejoining a gym, with fellow St Colman's teacher Stephen Conlon as a personal trainer.
'Stephen has worked with people with cerebral palsy. He's drawing up a plan for me so I can get used to the fitted wheelchair and get myself into shape,' Matthew said.
'Yes, my life has completely changed. There are moments when you come out of your treatment and you feel so ill. But I have a wonderful support network.
'I have the social media platforms to tell things like they are and hopefully get the message out there that no matter how insignificant you feel a pain or an issue is, you get it checked. That's what I did.
'The tumour may be fast-growing, but I'm here in the middle of getting the treatment and I'm staying positive that I'll come out the other side, get married, get into my new home and get back to teaching.'
You have to stay positive, keep looking forward, he says.
'The diagnosis was terminal — I aim to prove them wrong,' he added.
Hashtags

Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles


Daily Mirror
13 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Girl, 12, dies after doctors mistook fatal tumour for 'tummy bug'
Jackie Dunlop has urged parents to "trust their gut" after losing her daughter Ava Nelson from a condition which GPs initially dismissed as something minor A mum is urging parents to trust their instincts after her daughter's tummy bug turned out to be an inoperable brain tumour. Jackie Dunlop from North Ayrshire became concerned when her daughter Ava Nelson, then aged 10, suffered with severe headaches and sickness for three weeks. Following visits to the GP and her local hospital, the young girl was a viral infection or a gastric bug. However, after the fourth week of Ava feeling unwell, Jackie pushed for more testing and what followed shocked the 38-year-old to the core. An MRI revealed a pressure of Ava's brain, caused by a large mass, and she was rushed up to the Royal Hospital for Children in Glasgow. She had to have an emergency operation to relieve the pressure and a biopsy a week later revealed Ava had a high-grade glioblastoma. The family were told she had just six to 12 months to live, but Ava outlived that prediction and passed away nearly two years later in April 2024, aged 12. Now Jackie, from Kilwinning, who previously worked as a carer, is telling parents not to ignore their own suspicions regarding their child's health. She said: "We thought it was a sickness bug. But going into week three I started to worry. Everyone put it down to a viral sickness bug. Four weeks I had been fighting with doctors. The surgeon told us if we didn't fight she'd have been dead within a week because the pressure was that bad." She continued: "I always say to any mother go with your gut instinct if you feel that something is wrong with your child. If you feel something is wrong then go get them checked. If you aren't getting anywhere stand your ground and make sure you get the help and support you need until you have the right answers. Mothers know their child best." Ava began experiencing headaches, dizziness, and balance issues in May 2022. Despite numerous GP appointments and hospital visits, her symptoms were dismissed as just a viral illness, reports Glasgow Live. Growing concerned about her daughter's health, Jackie refused to accept this and persevered for further medical attention at Crosshouse Hospital's children's ward. Jackie recounted: "To look at her you wouldn't know anything was wrong. They agreed to do blood tests – Ava then started vomiting. She started declining but the blood tests came back fine. I pushed for a scan." The persistence paid off when an MRI scan showed a brain tumour. Ava was rushed to the Royal Hospital for Children in Glasgow on May 31, 2022. Jackie said: "They told us Ava has severe pressure on her brain. They found a tumour. The pressure was caused by the tumour." Ava underwent emergency surgery the following day; however, doctors couldn't fully remove the tumour due to its location. The biopsy results returned on June 8, 2022, confirming Ava's diagnosis with cancer. Jackie revealed: "The hardest part for me was that wasn't going to survive. They gave us six to 12 months." Ava bravely endured 12 weeks of simultaneous radiotherapy and chemotherapy, which resulted in her needing a feeding tube after the treatment caused a rupture in her stomach. Her parents, Jackie and Roland, made the heart-wrenching decision not to disclose Ava's terminal prognosis, choosing instead to create cherished memories. Jackie shared: "We were trying to normalise life." The family dedicated themselves to ensuring their beloved "wee warrior" had as many joyous moments as possible, despite their own sorrow. Jackie said: "As a family we did everything in our willpower to make sure that the time we had left with our wee warrior was full of fun filled memories as much as it was killing us inside." In spring 2023, Ava was admitted to Robin House Children's Hospice, where she fought for another year before passing away on April 16, 2024, with her loving parents and sisters, aged nine and 17, by her side. Jackie recalled: "They moved her into the rainbow room. It was the most peaceful room." Jackie now aims to inspire other parents to trust their instincts about their children's health. She added: "Ava was quiet as a mouse. She was quite shy and timid. But she was sweet and loving. She was the best."


Daily Record
16 hours ago
- Daily Record
Mum's warning as daughter dies from brain tumour thought to be tummy bug
The family were told she had just six to 12 months to live - but Ava outlived this and passed away nearly two years later - aged 12. A mum is urging parents to trust their instincts after her daughter's tummy bug turned out to be an inoperable brain tumour. Jackie Dunlop, 38, became concerned when her daughter, Ava Nelson, then 10, suffered with severe headaches and sickness for three weeks. She took her to see the GP and went to her local hospital but was told it was a viral infection or a gastric bug. But after the fourth week of Ava feeling unwell, Jackie pushed for more testing. An MRI revealed a pressure of Ava's brain - caused by a large mass - and she was rushed up to the Royal Hospital for Children in Glasgow. She had to have an emergency operation to relieve the pressure and a biopsy a week later revealed Ava had a high grade glioblastoma. The family were told she had just six to 12 months to live - but Ava outlived this and passed away nearly two years later in April 2024 - aged 12. Now her mum wants others to trust their gut. Jackie, who previously worked as a carer, from Kilwinning, Ayrshire, said: "We thought it was a sickness bug. "But going into week three I started to worry. Everyone put it down to a viral sickness bug. Four weeks I had been fighting with doctors. "The surgeon told us if we didn't fight she'd have been dead withing a week because the pressure was that bad. "I always say to any mother go with your gut instinct if you feel that something is wrong with your child. If you feel something is wrong then go get them checked. "If you aren't getting anywhere stand your ground and make sure you get the help and support you need until you have the right answers. "Mothers know their child best." Ava started getting headaches, dizzy spells and balance issues in early May 2022. She went to her GP and to her local hospital but it was brushed off as a viral infection. Jackie wasn't happy and pushed to get her to the children's ward at Crosshouse Hospital. She said: "To look at her you wouldn't know anything was wrong. "They agreed to do blood tests - Ava then started vomiting. She started declining but the blood tests came back fine. I pushed for a scan." Join the Daily Record WhatsApp community! Get the latest news sent straight to your messages by joining our WhatsApp community today. You'll receive daily updates on breaking news as well as the top headlines across Scotland. No one will be able to see who is signed up and no one can send messages except the Daily Record team. All you have to do is click here if you're on mobile, select 'Join Community' and you're in! If you're on a desktop, simply scan the QR code above with your phone and click 'Join Community'. We also treat our community members to special offers, promotions, and adverts from us and our partners. If you don't like our community, you can check out any time you like. To leave our community click on the name at the top of your screen and choose 'exit group'. If you're curious, you can read our Privacy Notice. Ava had an MRI which revealed a mass on her brain. She had to be blue-lighted to Royal Hospital for Children in Glasgow on May 31, 2022. Jackie said: "They told us Ava has severe pressure on her brain. They found a tumour. The pressure was caused by the tumour." Ava had to have an emergency operation the next day but doctors were unable to remove all of the tumour due to its position. The biopsy results came back a week later on June 8, 2022 and Ava was diagnosed with cancer.


Daily Mirror
3 days ago
- Daily Mirror
'I was in a shopping centre - then a man left me paralysed'
Medical student Grace Spence Green's life was changed in a moment when a man falling from a third floor balcony landed on her, breaking her spine. Now with a rich, rewarding life she's determined to change the image of disability Grace Spence Green doesn't remember the moment of her accident, when a man l eapt from a third-floor balcony in Westfield shopping centre, in east London, and landed on top of her. She was a medical student and just 22, and only recalls walking along the shopping centre atrium towards the train station. The next thing she knew was waking up on the floor and not being able to feel her legs. 'I remember crying, maybe screaming.' The collision had broken her spine, leaving her paralysed from the chest down. Shockingly, abruptly, the trainee doctor had become a patient. In her powerful new book To Exist As I Am, Grace, now 29, tells the story of her traumatic experience, and her physical and mental recovery. A woman of extraordinary resilience, determination and positivity, she says she wouldn't change what happened to her. "As the years went by, what I gained through my disability, how it's changed me, the relationships that have changed – I can now say I wouldn't change it because of all I've gained from it,' she says. She spent two weeks in hospital where titanium was bolted into her spine to hold her shattered vertebrae in place. She spent much of that first week 'floating on a cloud' of morphine, while her parents and her partner of three years, Nathan, spent every possible moment by her bedside. But Grace, who had enjoyed a happy, loving and comfortable upbringing in London, 'felt as though I just slipped out of my life'. Five days after sustaining her injury, she began to write daily, finding it therapeutic. But she says that as she wrote her book, it was painful to revisit those earlier entries. 'I felt really sorry for this girl,' says Grace. 'I didn't quite recognise her because lots of it was really angry or muddled. It just seems like someone that was really lost, which I was. But she had to go through all of that to come out the other side.' After a couple of weeks, Grace was transferred to the Royal National Orthopaedic hospital in Stanmore, Middlesex. Initially, she experienced 'a sense of denial' because she no longer felt unwell, and 'I looked down and I looked the same'. But her desperate hopes of recovery were shattered when she saw an MRI scan of her spine, which showed it was almost severed. Slowly but surely, Grace began to accept her circumstances, considering how to make the best of them. She counted her blessings. She has been profoundly grateful for Nathan's devoted support. 'He's been such a constant and that has really, really helped. It always felt like we were dealing with this together. It wasn't just my burden to bear. "He's had comments like, 'Are you going to stay with Grace?' But that was never a question for him. So I was able to maintain some self worth, especially through the really low points in the first year.' Happily, Grace and Nathan are getting married in July. Grace returned to medical school 10 months after she was injured and, in 2021, she graduated and started work in a London hospital. But everyday life brought 'a barrage of comments or micro-aggressions or people making me feel less than'. On an 'almost daily' basis, complete strangers ask why she is in a wheelchair. 'How would you feel if I asked you to recount the most traumatic events of your life, every time you meet someone new? It can feel like my life is being reduced to this single moment… I am so tired of talking about that day.' People tend to address her able-bodied friend or partner instead of speaking to her directly. ''Can she walk?'' When she is boarding a train or plane, strangers will start pushing her wheelchair without consulting her. 'I appreciate an open 'Can I help you?' or 'Let me know if you need help with that'. And I would like people to be honest, I much prefer when someone says, 'I don't know the best way to help you'.' Grace says her recovery would have been much less traumatic if disability wasn't so stigmatised in our society. 'When I was injured, I felt like my life suddenly became very small and the things I would be able to do fitted into a very small box. I always wonder how catastrophic it would have felt if there were more disabled voices out there, if I knew that you could live a good life.' A significant turning point came a few months after her discharge when she took part in the Stoke Mandeville Games for the newly injured, and met people going through similar experiences. She even launched a podcast with five of them, with the inspired title of This Is Spinal Crap. 'It felt really great having a space to talk to these five people. They all have this shared experience. I can breathe out with them because they understand, I can relax and be more myself. It came at a time when I was really lost. I had recently been discharged, I didn't really know what I could do any more and what I would enjoy. So it felt really special.' During the pandemic, Grace interviewed disabled people around the world for the podcast. Their shared experiences allowed her to feel part of a community, their rich, rewarding lives providing the hope and inspiration she needed. These days, she enjoys outdoor swimming, seated water skiing, and she travels often. 'The first time I got on a train on my own was really huge for me. It was the realisation that I could navigate the world and be independent.' Grace has no desire to endlessly replay the day of her injury, nor does she want to dwell on the man who injured her. CCTV showed him smoking weed in a stairwell before running up to the third-floor balcony. He has since been deported. But Grace has never harboured anger or bitterness towards him. 'Very early on, I came to the realisation that if I wasn't there, the man likely would have died because he would have jumped head first. And that made it much easier to start navigating all of the emotions I felt because what I was going through was really difficult. But I wouldn't have changed it.' Instead of dwelling on the past, Grace is far more interested in focusing on the future, and in advocating for disabled people. She describes her book as a form of activism. 'I wouldn't want to change the person I am now. But, by sharing my own experience and showing my vulnerability, I hope people will be more open to listening and learning. It feels to me like the way I can make a change. Disabled people deserve more than this.'