The tables have turned. Restaurant workers offer 8 ways to be a better guest.

Boston Globe

05-08-2025

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In the interest of fairness, I'm turning the tables this week. Here's what professionals wish that we, the dining public, did better. Take note.
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Don't ghost.
Can't make your reservation? Please, have the kindness to cancel. Showing up with a smaller party than expected? Also let the restaurant know in advance, so they can open up more seats to other reservations.
'Guests don't realize how important it is to restaurants to call and cancel your reservation if you are unable to keep it, especially with smaller restaurants,' says
Think of it this way: 'What would happen if you planned a dinner party in your home, friends RSVP'd, you prepared the food and were ready to put it all in the oven, and no one came? That's what happens every night in the restaurant business,' says
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Treat your server like a human, not a robot.
Lots of industry professionals complained about customers who greet a friendly 'hello' with a response like 'Diet Coke!' or 'two tacos to go.'
'It would be nice if all patrons started with, 'Hello; how are you doing?' instead of just barking their orders when approached,' says Steven Peljovich from Michael's Deli in Brookline, speaking on behalf of many.
Enjoy the spread, but don't spread out.
Basically, don't treat a dining room as your own
Offer specific feedback.
Instead of absentmindedly saying that a dish is 'good,' consider this your chance to play amateur food critic. Adore the vinaigrette? Think there's a little too much garlic in the sauce? Say so, concisely and conversationally. It all helps the kitchen.
'While we always appreciate hearing that 'everything is good,' more detailed and specific feedback goes a long way in helping us grow. Insights on the quality of food, drinks, or service allow us to better understand what's working well and where there's room for improvement. Your input directly helps us create a more enjoyable and memorable experience for all our guests moving forward,' says Stephen Chan, who owns
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See an empty booth? Prefer it over your own? The restaurant isn't trying to torture you. There might be a very good reason that it's unoccupied. Shown here, a prime spot at Contessa.
Barry Chin/Globe Staff
Don't assume any table is yours for the taking.
See an empty booth? Prefer it over your own? The restaurant isn't trying to torture you. There might be a very good reason that it's unoccupied, such as an impending bridal shower or a business meeting.
'While it's certainly OK to ask [for a different table], not every empty table is available; the team might be working to manage seating arrangements for the evening for all the parties that are expected to come in that night,' says Adam Resnick, chef at
Specify allergies with your reservation.
This gives everyone — you and the restaurant — peace of mind. But it also offers the restaurant a chance to surprise and delight.
'Recently a woman reached out to me with many allergies. I was able to print a menu specifically for her and she told me through tears in her eyes that she'd never had so many options at a restaurant. Help us give you that level of experience. Reach out in advance with your allergies. Help us keep you safe,' urges Abigail Taylor, who manages North Cambridge's
Please parent your children. Yes, even outside.
In composing this piece, I fielded several tales of kids running wild al fresco. Remember: Patios are an extension of the dining room, not after-hours summer camp.
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'A patio area is outside, but that doesn't mean it's a playground. It's dangerous for both kids and staff, and distracting to other diners trying to enjoy a night out. For some reason, many parents still don't understand this, though it seems like common sense,' says a Jamaica Plain restaurateur who asked to remain nameless (perhaps for obvious reasons). 'Really, I don't want your kid cracking their head open on the concrete steps. Then, if we have to intervene, we get complaints about being 'hostile to families.''
Relatedly, please include babies in reservation numbers, even if they'll slurp milk, not martinis. 'Your child or infant is a human and should count as such when making a reservation. ... They are taking space, and we need to know,' one server says.
Critique in person, not online.
Catty online reviews won't improve your dining experience in real time, and they can make or break a business. Instead, offer feedback in the moment, both to give the restaurant a chance to make things right — and to preserve their reputation. After all, how would you like it if colleagues could leave Yelp! reviews after a boring work meeting or friends could anonymously ring in on TripAdvisor about your messy car?
'Almost all restaurants would rather try to improve your experience in person, hear your feedback, understand it, and learn from it and have you leave happy, as opposed to reading about it after the fact online. At that point, there are limited options left to a business to make you feel whole once you have left the building,' says Marc Sheehan from Canton's
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South End restaurateur Jack Bardy (The Beehive,
Kara Baskin can be reached at