Prince Harry's obsession with being a ‘spare' is destroying his relationship with royal family: experts

Yahoo

02-04-2025

Being a "spare" continues to haunt Prince Harry.
It's been said that the Duke of Sussex is tormented by his status as a royal "spare," which continues to dominate his life five years after his royal exit.
The term is a nod to the "heir and the spare," a phrase referring to the different destinies that have separated Harry and his older brother, Prince William, since birth, People magazine reported.
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"Harry is obviously obsessed with being 'the spare,'" royal expert Richard Fitzwilliams claimed to Fox News Digital.
"… Harry believes 'the institution,' as he calls the monarchy, had it in for him and Meghan Markle. The palace, he believes, briefed against him. His accusation that Queen Camilla was particularly ruthless in this regard was a red line for King Charles."
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Fitzwilliams' claims came shortly after Ingrid Seward, royal author and editor-in-chief of Majesty magazine, told The Daily Mail that the "spare" label took over Harry's life "to the extent that he has now made a career out of it." It was famously the title of the royal's 2023 memoir in which he exposed family rifts and secrets.
"He chooses to be the victim and wreak vengeance on the slights he thought he had suffered; on his family, on the press and through the courts," Seward told the outlet. "[It's] how Harry chose to see himself."
The outlet also referred to royal author Tom Quinn's new book, "Yes Ma'am: The Secret Life of Royal Servants." According to Quinn, senior palace courtiers once tried to explain to Harry that he was much better off than his brother because William would never be able to escape the pressures and responsibilities of being the future king. But sources claimed to Quinn that Harry couldn't see this.
Royal author Robert Lacey previously told "Good Morning America" in 2020 that Harry's unhappiness with being known as the royal "spare" continued to grow over the years. Lacey told the outlet it worsened when it became obvious that William and Kate were being prepped to take over the throne one day.
"The British royal system can be very cruel, and it's particularly cruel to the spare," said Lacey. "Harry came to realize… that he was typecast as the court jester, the No. 2."
But Christopher Andersen, author of "The King," told Fox News Digital there's a good reason why the term continues to hurt the father of two.
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"Harry was always in the shadow of his big brother, and it had a profound effect on his self-confidence — or lack thereof," Andersen explained.
"Within the royal family, the focus was always on William. Outside the royal family, the focus was always on William. If there was a social situation, or a ceremonial situation, or even a family get-together, Harry was shunted aside, and in many cases completely ignored… When these things happen to you beginning in infancy, obviously you're going to build up some resentment."
"… Anybody who doesn't think that Harry feels used and abused — and to some extent he undoubtedly was — isn't paying very close attention," Andersen added.
Andersen described how Harry's late mother, Princess Diana, intervened when she realized that the prince was being cast aside.
"One particularly touching example occurred when the beloved Queen Mother had the brothers for tea at Clarence House and made Harry sit in a separate corner alone while she chatted with William," Andersen explained. "William was going to be king. William was the important one. The royal family traditionally has never been known for either its sensitivity or subtlety."
"Diana tried to change that… But frankly, Diana knew that Harry would have a tough row to hoe," Andersen shared.
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"She hoped he could find his way and not be suffocated in the looming shadow of his big brother… Then, imagine how that was amplified by Diana's death just days before Harry's 13th birthday. It wasn't long before the adorable scamp was unfairly turned into a drug-using problem child. And as we know from Harry's book, to some extent, that was engineered by the palace to make Charles and Camilla look good."
Royal expert Ian Pelham Turner told Fox News Digital that Harry struggled to find his way within the palace before he made his royal exit in 2020.
"In Harry, I feel he has had a passion to carry on Diana's work," said Turner. "He [faced] frustration of not being able to work within the royal stranglehold of what he could and could not achieve. The military gave him one option, but deep down he knew he would not have the… influence of his brother William."
"The book 'Spare' was, in my view, a throwback to the restrictions he constantly came up against," he shared. "The final straw was him trying to be independent of the royal purse, but still carrying out his [duties]… whilst trying to protect [his wife] Meghan."
The Duke and Duchess of Sussex cited the U.K. media's treatment of the former American actress as one of the main reasons for their decision to quit royal duties and move to California.
According to the Daily Mail, the 40-year-old appears to be content in "self-imposed exile" but wishes he could support his father, who is battling an undisclosed form of cancer.
Sources close to Harry previously told People magazine that his relationship with the king had deteriorated. They claim the monarch no longer takes his son's calls or responds to his letters. It's also believed that Harry and William aren't speaking. Fox News Digital reached out to Buckingham Palace for comment at the time.
"Sadly, Prince Harry has gone from being the spare to the popular and globally significant heir to now spare to his unpopular wife," British royals expert Hilary Fordwich told Fox News Digital.
"Instead of embracing the role the royal family envisioned for him… he has chosen to view himself as a victim," Fordwich claimed. "He failed to embrace his significant role. Instead, he focused on perceived slights from his family, thereby embarrassingly failing to embrace his birthright privilege position."
"Being the spare has such greater freedom compared to Prince William, who faces intense scrutiny as the future monarch," Fordwich pointed out. "… Instead of counting his blessings, rejoicing in all his riches from his birthright, he chose to wallow in negativity, resulting in… being rejected by the public."
British broadcaster and photographer Helena Chard previously claimed to Fox News Digital that Harry still has remorse for the events leading up to his royal exit.
"When it comes to regrets, [the Duke and Duchess of Sussex] would be inhuman if they didn't feel slight regrets surrounding how they handled departing the U.K. to pastures new," said Chard.
"It will be Harry who has pangs of regret as service as part of the British royal family is all that he knew, and he will be missing certain aspects of his past life, namely the military culture and family unity," she shared.
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Chard said Meghan, 43, is more focused on building her lifestyle empire in California than looking back.
"Meghan may wonder about what things could have been, but I believe she doesn't look back, is resolute with her decisions, and has little regret as she is not British," said Chard. "She doesn't have heartfelt ties to the royal family. She couldn't wait to get away!"
Harry's book gave no sign that royal family relations would be repaired soon. Harry previously told ITV in an interview to promote the memoir that he wants reconciliation, but that there must be "accountability" first.
In the final pages, Harry described how he and William walked side by side during the funeral procession of Queen Elizabeth II in September 2022 but spoke barely a word to one another.
"The next day, Meg and I returned to the United States," he wrote.Original article source: Prince Harry's obsession with being a 'spare' is destroying his relationship with royal family: experts