‘I held his face together': Jonathan Joss' husband reveals ‘King of the Hill' actor's final moments
"Everything was really close range. It was in the head," Tristan Kern de Gonzales told The Independent. "I held his face together while I told him how much I loved him. He could still hear me, he looked up at me and he wasn't able to talk because of the extent [of his injuries], but I could tell he was trying to say, 'I love you.'"
Suspect Sigfredo Ceja Alvarez was arrested a block away from the scene of the shooting and is now facing first-degree murder charges. Kern de Gonzales said Joss' death was the result of anti-LGBT+ sentiment aimed at the doomed couple. However, police in San Antonio, Texas, say there is "no evidence" the killing was motivated by bigotry.
"While I'm holding him, he has the gun pointed over me, and he's laughing, saying, 'Oh, you love him? Joto,'" Kern de Gonzales alleged. "' Joto' is Spanish for f****t. I never knew the word until I came to Texas, and then I heard it a lot.
Joss was pronounced dead at the scene. Ceja, according to an incident report obtained from the San Antonio Police Department, immediately confessed to the murder, telling officers, "I shot him."
The SAPD quickly dismissed the shooting as a potential hate crime, issuing a statement on Monday that claimed investigators had 'found no evidence to indicate that… Mr. Joss' murder was related to his sexual orientation.'
'We take such allegations very seriously and have thoroughly reviewed all available information,' the statement said. 'Should any new evidence come to light, we will charge the suspect accordingly.'
The deadly incident followed years of feuding between Joss, Kern de Gonzales, and the suspect, according to Kern de Gonzales. He said they came home to find the skull of one of their dogs, which had been killed when their house burned down this winter, on display near their mailbox, deeply upsetting the two of them. (There is no mention of this incident in the SAPD incident report.)
Joss began screaming, and this led to the eventual confrontation with the suspect, said Kern de Gonzales.
Kern de Gonzales, who described himself as a transgender man, pushed back forcefully against the SAPD's assertion that their background didn't play a part in the killing.
'They ignored us, refused to file police reports for about two years [over the couple's complaints of harassment], and now they're trying to say it wasn't a hate crime,' Kern de Gonzales told The Independent. 'It's like when the police investigate themselves and find they did nothing wrong.'
Over the past 36 hours, local residents have recounted tales of Joss having been, alternately, 'really sweet,' then at times wandering down the street ' ranting and raving.' One called Joss ' erratic,' and claimed he told people that 'he was God.' Another neighbor shared a video with local CBS affiliate KENS, purportedly showing Joss walking back and forth with a pitchfork, screaming.
The SAPD said it responded to more than 40 calls involving Joss in 2024, ranging from welfare checks, mental health issues, and dust-ups with neighbors. However, according to Kern de Gonzales, who married Joss this past Valentine's Day, the actor may have been loud but he was never violent.
'I don't care if me and my husband were walking around with one pitchfork in our hand and another pitchfork up our a**, we didn't point any weapons at anybody,' Kern de Gonzales told The Independent. 'When the man rolled up with the gun, we were checking the mail.'
He said he found it 'really sad how people treat other people when they're having a mental health crisis or going through trauma,' and that no one wants to consider what led to that point.
'It's OK to be a little sad, but if you're in a state where you're yelling or whatever, that doesn't get the same grace,' Kern de Gonzales said.
According to Kern de Gonzales, Joss, who has Native American heritage, had long been subjected to racist verbal attacks.
'I had never seen someone be accosted for being Native American,' Kern de Gonzales said. 'He would be playing the drum a lot outside, singing, chanting, praying… People would drive by and yell out the window, 'F***ng Indian,' and it's just like, what kind of point are you trying to make?
Then, when Kern de Gonzales moved in, he said 'the homophobia started.'
'Jonathan would be harassed for just being in his yard wearing a dress,' Kern de Gonzales went on. 'When people would ask why he wore a dress, he would say, 'Because I have nice legs.' And he did. He looked beautiful in a dress. And I think a lot of people were threatened by that, because Jonathan could wear a dress and still be masculine and confident.'
The two coped using humor, and 'always found something at the end of the day to laugh about,' Kern de Gonzales explained. As he now prepares his husband's funeral, people have inquired about his plans for the body, whether Joss wanted to be buried or cremated.
'I do take joy in quoting Jonathan, which is actually paraphrasing a line from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,' Kern de Gonzales said. 'He used to love to tell people, 'When I die, I don't care what you do with me. Cut me up and make a soup out of me, I don't care.' It makes me laugh now because I know Jonathan's laughing too.'
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