'Amazing' - Dublin woman says running helped drug recovery
A Dublin woman who "hit rock bottom" due to drugs is now running half marathons with her daughter, who she lost connection with while in the throes of addiction.
Fiona Taaffe, from Kilmore, completed her first Dublin City Half Marathon alongside her daughter, Karinann, last month.
Six years into recovery, the 57-year-old said Coolock Running Club has been "amazing" in her rehabilitation, as it pushes her to achieve goals that she never thought possible.
"When I first started, I couldn't run for the life of me," she said.
"But I was running all my life away from pain," she added.
Coolock Running Club will host the fourth year of the 'Another Way 5K' at Darndale Park tomorrow at 11am, which aims to highlight the availability of help for those involved with drugs and criminality.
It is part of a local campaign to "get the message out" on the alternatives to addiction.
Ms Taaffe said she had been in some form of addiction for 30 years.
"I didn't know what addiction was. I thought if you weren't shooting up heroin, you weren't an addict," she said.
"But there were times I was found wandering around out of my head on tablets," she added.
Following the breakdown of her marriage, her substance abuse became worse, and Ms Taaffe said she chose drugs over her children, which has caused her "a lot of shame and guilt".
"Karinann saw things no child should have to see. I'd go to the pub, probably leave her on her own, and come back and have a party in the house," she said.
When gardaí were called to the house, Ms Taaffe said she was presented with an ultimatum - either her daughter would have to be cared for by other family members or be taken into State care.
Following this, Karinann was looked after by an aunt.
Karinann said: "When I knew how deep my mam was in addiction, I didn't want to know her.
"But even though I had so much resentment and anger, I think I still held hope."
Following a family intervention in 2019, Ms Taaffe began the recovery process and stayed at Cuan Mhuire Treatment Centre in Co Limerick.
Karinann supported her mother throughout the process and their relationship began to repair.
Ms Taaffe said she promised herself that she would never lie to her daughter again and would do her best to never hurt her again.
'Making up for time lost'
Karinann said she no longer holds resentment but had "a wall up" when her mother came out of treatment, as she was constantly worried that she would start using drugs again.
However, when her mother joined Coolock Running Club she could see it gave her purpose and was significantly helping sustain her recovery.
"I'd see people out running and think I'd love to do that, but self-doubt would kick in and I'd think I wasn't good enough," Ms Taaffe said.
She said that after learning breathing and mindset techniques from the club coaches, running has become a regular habit.
"I was told it was me against me," she said.
Ms Taaffe credits the support of club members for keeping her going. When she ran her first 5k, they came back to pull her over the line and cheer her on.
After running a 10k, she booked a place in the Dublin Half Marathon in March this year and Karinann decided to join her.
Ms Taaffe said Karinann phoned her during the race and with 3km left to run when was struggling.
"She stayed on the phone the whole way through and pushed and pushed and pushed me," she said.
"I knew I couldn't let her stop," Karinann said, adding: "If I could just get her to the point and then bring her to where the running club were.
"And when she saw their faces, that they stuck around and waited for her to cross that line, it was unbelievable."
Ms Taaffe and her daughter said they are now "making up for time lost".
"It's hard to see someone you love be so sick," said Karinann.
"If there is a part of you, no matter the anger you hold toward that person, just hold on to that hope because I think that's what got me through," she added.
Ms Taaffe said she thinks she has done "amazing things" in recovery.
She said her message to other people in addiction is to reach out for the "loads of help" available.
"But you have to want the help," she said, adding "most people say you have to hit rock bottom. I hit rock bottom and then there was another rock bottom beneath that".
"I'm so grateful the help was there. Don't suffer in silence like I did because there's an amazing life out there," she said.
The Another Way 5K is a collaboration between Coolock Running Club, local community organisations, the Get The Message Out group and endurance athlete Ger Redmond.
The success of the Another Way 5K event prompted Mr Redmond and his friend Anthony Brady to establish the club in 2023.
Running played a huge part in transforming Mr Redmond's life after imprisonment for involvement with drugs.
It is one of a number of projects backed by the Darndale Implementation Oversight Group, a Dublin City Council initiative to tackle complex and engrained issues in Darndale.
Dr Jack Nolan, chair of the group, said such events are needed to show communities affected by drugs that they are not forgotten.
"Darndale Another Way 5K encourages people to consider a different way of life by highlighting opportunities, services and activities available," Dr Nolan said.
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