If McGregor has sights on becoming next ‘Mickey D', he'd want to start putting his away

Sunday World

3 days ago

Put it away, Conor – no nudes is good news
If Conor McGregor genuinely has his sights on becoming the next 'Mickey D', he'd want to start by putting his away.
Between frolicking on a beach with a mystery woman, whom even Stevie Wonder (despite recently being forced to dispel rumours he's not blind) could tell isn't his fiancée Dee Devlin, and confirming rumours of his planned UFC comeback at the White House next year, The Notorious has had quite the week.
Yet, it was the rest of us who needed a bathtub-sized G&T by Friday, after images seemingly of the sportsman, with all his clothes Octa-gone, spread faster than chlamydia online in recent days.
Less than four months after declaring this column a McGregor-free zone, after the disgraced slugger ridiculously teased his intention to run for the Áras, it galls me to temporarily lift that moratorium.
But, casual racism aside, I'm with American rapper Azealia Banks who, having alleged the 37-year-old privately sent her unsolicited nudes which she then shared on X, asked: 'How are you really going to sexually harass me with the potato farmer d**k then threaten me not to tell?'
I'm not sure who still needs to hear this, but no woman has ever woken up on a regular Monday morning, and while summoning the energy to get out of bed for work, stared at their phone wistfully and thought, 'You know what would really cheer me up right now…'?
Floppy or at full mast (or even 'lifting weights' like McGregor), d**k pics, as they're more commonly known, aren't just the death of romance – they're the death of decency, so why do so many men still insist on sending them? One in four, if one YouGov survey of millennial males is anything to go by.
Conor McGregor and Dee Devlin. Photo: PA
What, precisely, is it that they're hoping to achieve by cold-calling women (or men) with close-ups of a body part widely agreed to be about as pretty as a newborn naked mole rat?
Tragically, there is some science to suggest that, amid the digitisation of dating, some see full frontal photos as a genuine form of courting, though I prefer the good old-fashioned days of a box of Milk Tray.
Other studies show how these modern-day flashers are, more simply, hoping to receive female nudes in return, and even Banks said it was a two-way street, claiming that she and McGregor 'have been sending each other unsolicited nudes since 2016'.
From fallen US politician Anthony Weiner to American footballer Brett Favre, of course, the dad-of-four isn't the first to be accused of 'cyberflashing', with four out of 10 women aged between 18 and 36 also telling YouGov that they've received a d**k pic they didn't ask for.
Some, it then follows, did solicit such snaps.
Either way, if, for instance, you're a budding state or sportsman hoping to avoid controversy for more than a few hours, then to paraphrase Twink, it may be wisest to zip up your 'McG'.