I bought the online poison that killed my son - it was disturbingly easy
After looking intently at his delivery, David put it back into its Canadian-stamped packaging and stowed it safely in his loft. The poison, postage and packaging came in at around $60 (approximately £30).
David had purchased the substance to try to understand how difficult it would be to get hold of what killed his 22-year-old son Tom. He found it disturbingly easy.
'Tom was just a lovely person who saw the good in people. One of his teachers described him as having an amazing moral compass. He was an incredibly intelligent man who I'm sure would have had an amazing career. I miss him dearly,' David, 56, tells Metro.
Tom's mother, Julia, described their son as a 'fine young man with an infectious laugh'. Growing up with anxiety, autism, and obsessive-compulsive disorder meant Tom didn't have it easy. His mental health severely faltered when his philosophy degree at the University of St Andrews was disrupted by the pandemic.
'A close friend of one of his best friends took his own life soon after starting university, and that was one of the first times I talked to him about it,' remembers David, who works as a data director.
'He was quite clear that he didn't want to use a method that potentially could go wrong or leave him disabled. He said he wanted to find something that was painless, cheap and reliable.
'I was naive enough to think that it was impossible, and therefore, we had time to help him. I'm pretty sure that he would be here today if he didn't find that online.'
David and Julia separated 11 years ago, and Tom lived with his dad for five years as a teen. They spoke regularly and had a close relationship. When Tom started struggling with suicidal thoughts, he sought mental health support, was prescribed antidepressants and moved closer to home. Around the same time, he'd discovered suicide forums online where he was directed to a substance that he was told was effective and painless.
In October 2021, Tom, who had also tried to take his own life the month previously, checked into a Premier Inn in Sunbury-on-Thames, Surrey, ingested the small package of poison that he had ordered online and died.
'Grief is quite an individual process, but it is difficult to keep going. It's hard to think about anything else after losing Tom like that. There's guilt and the thought – could we have done any more to stop it,' David says.
A year after his son's death, David, who now lives in Twickenham, was going through the police notes to the coroner and noticed that the package containing the poison came from a company run by a Canadian chef, Kenneth Law, the same name he'd seen on the stuff he'd ordered.
David went to the police with this information, but because the substance is legal to buy, sell and export, they said they were unable to do anything. He then contacted a reporter called James Beal, who went undercover to request a phone consultation with Law.
The Times journalist claimed that during the call, Law told him that he had sent his product to 'hundreds' of people in the UK and that he was doing 'God's work'. He also said he had set up the business after seeing his mother suffer following a stroke – a claim that has not been verified – and urged James to buy the poison so that he has something 'readily available.'
Shortly after the story was published, Kenneth Law was arrested. He is now awaiting trial in Canada next year, facing a total of 14 first-degree murder charges and 14 counts of aiding and counselling suicide. His lawyer has said he will be pleading not guilty. At this point, forces across the UK were alerted that packages had been sent out and started visiting addresses, including David's.
All of the charges are linked to the deaths of people from across Ontario aged 16 to 36, but he is believed by the Canadian force to have sent more than 1,200 so-called suicide kits to around 40 countries, including the UK.
The National Crime Agency are investigating potential criminal offences linked to the deaths of 97 individuals who purchased items to assist with suicide online.
An NCA spokesperson said: 'The National Crime Agency continues to investigate potential criminal offences linked to the deaths of individuals in the UK who purchased items to assist with suicide from Canada-based websites. Our investigation explores all viable leads linked to these websites and a Canadian suspect in order to identify evidence of crimes committed in the UK. Specialist officers continue to provide support to victims and families.'
Assisting suicide is illegal in the UK and Canada and is punishable by up to 14 years in prison in both countries. Law's websites have been taken down, and he remains in custody. His trial is likely to be held in January next year, where his lawyer, Matthew Gourlay, has said he will plead not guilty.
Meanwhile, suspected victims have been found around the globe; in France, Italy, Ireland, Switzerland and New Zealand. In the UK, packages have been found in Cumbria, Surrey, London, Plymouth and the Isle of Wight.
As the scale of Law's alleged involvement in vulnerable people's deaths emerged, David wanted to do more to understand and publicise the dangers, which is why he ordered the poison online. He was on holiday on the Isle of Wight when the police knocked on his door a few days after the package arrived.
David's youngest son, Harry, answered the door and showed the police to the attic where the poison was stored; they retrieved it and took it off to be destroyed. Following Law's arrest, Interpol had contacted local forces across the globe so officers could visit the homes who'd received the packages.
Thames Valley Police coming to retrieve the substance was a 'brilliant result' for David. While charities warn against publicising information about suicide methods, which is why Metro won't name the substance that killed Tom, David wants to highlight how simple it can be to buy online.
'I was just trying to follow Tom's footprints and understand what he went through. It was incredible how easy it was to find, which is just astonishing.' David also disputes the idea that this particular material, which has only been used in suicides in the past decade, provides a painless end, as it was advertised online.
'It is an excruciating death – and that is backed up by medical research. That is by no means painless.'
He explains: 'It's important to educate people. I work in IT and have used the internet ever since I could. And yet, before Tom died, I was blissfully unaware that he could go online and find this stuff. He didn't have to go on the dark web or anything.
If you've got a kid like my son, you need to be aware of these dangers
'Tom had been on a suicide forum. I didn't even know these places existed. He actively started to chat to a few people, found the information he wanted about how to take his own life and where to buy it.
'If you've got a kid like my son, you need to be aware of these dangers, and then at least you can arguably do something about it. I want to educate families that this is out there, so they can talk to their young people about it. Because these sites are echo chambers. They take what you're feeling and amplify it. It's sick.'
And those selling the poisons and making money from suicide websites continue to profit from death, says David. 'It is difficult to understand people's motivations. To actually trade things for suicide as a business, I can't think of many worse acts. Encouraging people to take their own lives is just monstrous and quite beyond comprehension.' More Trending
Meanwhile, Tom's family is left with grief, devastation, and a yearning to ensure others don't suffer in the same way. Last year, David set up the Thomas William Parfett Foundation to improve online safety for vulnerable people and prevent the supply of poison online.
'If you look at any product you can buy, a meal from a restaurant or a car from a dealer, there is a duty of care on the people who provide that product to make sure it does no harm. And yet, you can build an internet site that encourages suicide,' he explains.
'It seems quite incredible to me that the internet doesn't have that safety by design. It is hugely frustrating, knowing that there will be people who are not necessarily in the best of mental health, who are looking for advice, but unfortunately, they will find people who encourage them to take their own lives.
'It just seems ridiculous that we allow it. And I am determined to stop it.'
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And dentist Dr Sahil Patel, of London's Marylebone Smile Clinic, tells Metro that he's seeing an increasing number of patients displaying signs of bruxism. 'Well developed jaw muscles show as a squarer facial appearance or stronger jawline,' he explains. 'And, on the teeth themselves, bruxism causes accelerated tooth wear and breakage, making teeth look shorter, squarer and yellower. Tooth sensitivity and gum recession can also be a sign.' Why have we become a nation unable to relax our faces? While it's not always clear why people do it, stress and anxiety is a well-observed cause. 'Our patients are absoloutely more stressed than ever,' Dr Sahil says. 'They may not always disclose it to us, but we can sense when someone is stressed. We're seeing it more with younger people.' 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Our 'always-online' culture, particularly experienced by younger generations also doesn't help, as Dr Manpreet says we face 'technological overload.' 'Social media platforms promote curated representations of life, leading us to measure their worth against others. Additionally, urbanisation has contributed to a disconnection from nature. People confined to busy city lives miss out on the calming effects of the natural world.' Workplace pressures have changed too. 'The rise of remote work and gig economies has introduced ambiguity about job security and increased workloads,' says Dr Manpreet. 'Many young employees, striving for stability in uncertain times, experience burnout and chronic stress as they juggle multiple responsibilities. 'Rigid schedules and the lack of work-life balance lead many to neglect self-care practices.' And finally, as ever, the global pandemic plays a part. 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Alternatively, nurse prescriber and aesthetic trainer, Natalja Andrejeva, says that Botox is an 'emerging go-to solution' for teeth-grinding. 'Over the past few years, I've seen a noticeable rise in clicents seeking relief from bruxism using Botox, especially post-pandemic,' she tells Metro. 'Botox is injected into the masseter muscles to relax them. This reduces the intensity of clenching and grinding without affecting your ability to chew or speak.' The result? 'Less jaw tension, fewer headaches, and better sleep and quality of life. You'll also get a slightly slimmer jawline,' adds Natalja, founder of Face Code Aesthetic, where she offers the treatment, starting at £290. 'Typically, treatment would be required every three to six months, depending on muscle strength and individual response. 'But over time, some clients find they can space out treatments more as the habit and symptoms lessen.' Of course, the ultimate — and almost impossible solution — is to live a stress-free life. But until then, be safe in the knowledge that you're far from the only one — and don't forget to unclench your jaw. Do you have a story to share?
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Unclench your jaw: Why everyone is grinding their teeth now — including you
'You've worn your molars right down,' said my dentist, matter-of-factly, as she snapped the latex gloves from her hands. 'I can practically hear your jaw clicking.' I did my best not to feel offended. 'Sorry,' I mumbled, rubbing my aching massester muscles. I'm one of the 8 to 10% of the UK population that grinds their teeth in some way — and I'm betting, you are too. I'm not entirely sure when it started, but these days, I'm all-too-aware that I do it pretty much every night. I've woken myself up one-too-many times by accidentally biting down on my tongue (yes, it really hurts) and when my alarm goes off, I open my eyes with an aching jaw. The habit seeps into my waking hours too. I'll suddenly become aware that my jaw is clenched, as though that's its default position. I once heard (e.g. watched a TikTok video) that the three-finger test is a quick way to asses your jaw mobility. If you can fit three stacked fingers between your upper and lower reeth, you're in the normal range. I can only just about do it. But bruxism, the umbrella term for teeth-grinding or jaw clenching, does more than just make your jaw ache. In fact, it can cause a whole host of issues, from dental problems and headaches, to pain in the face, neck or shoulders, and TMJ disorders. To put it mildly, teeth grinding is no picnic — and it's even more annoying when you consider that you're most likely doing it subconciously. And while the current estimates would suggest that around 6.7 million Brits deal with condition, it seems to be on the rise. Post-pandemic, a USA-based 2021 survey among dentists found that 70% reported an increase in patients grinding and clenching their teeth. More recently, the hashtag #teethgrinding on TikTok has a staggering 262.9 million views, while #unclencyourjaw has 37.7 million. You can even buy tshirts and artwork on Etsy emblazoned with the phrase 'unclench your jaw'. And dentist Dr Sahil Patel, of London's Marylebone Smile Clinic, tells Metro that he's seeing an increasing number of patients displaying signs of bruxism. 'Well developed jaw muscles show as a squarer facial appearance or stronger jawline,' he explains. 'And, on the teeth themselves, bruxism causes accelerated tooth wear and breakage, making teeth look shorter, squarer and yellower. Tooth sensitivity and gum recession can also be a sign.' While it's not always clear why people do it, stress and anxiety is a well-observed cause. 'Our patients are absoloutely more stressed than ever,' Dr Sahil says. 'They may not always disclose it to us, but we can sense when someone is stressed. We're seeing it more with younger people.' Mental Health UK's annual Burnout Report, released in January 2025, found that one in three adults either 'always or often' experience high or extreme levels of pressure or stress, while nine in 10 say they've experienced it at some point over the last year. Mind also found that women are more likely than men to experience common mental health problems (20.7% of women compared to 13.2% of men affected), with young women aged 16 to 24 at the highest risk. It's worth nothing that women are also more likely to experience bruxism, particularly when they're awake. Experts are pretty much in agreement that society is increasinly stressful. Chartered psychologist, Dr Manpreet Dhuffar-Pottiwal says we live an era of 'uncertainty and instability'. She tells Metro: 'Political unrest, economic fluctuations, and environmental crises result in an unpredictability which leaves people feeling out of control regarding their futures.' Our 'always-online' culture, particularly experienced by younger generations also doesn't help, as Dr Manpreet says we face 'technological overload.' 'Social media platforms promote curated representations of life, leading us to measure their worth against others. Additionally, urbanisation has contributed to a disconnection from nature. People confined to busy city lives miss out on the calming effects of the natural world.' Workplace pressures have changed too. 'The rise of remote work and gig economies has introduced ambiguity about job security and increased workloads,' says Dr Manpreet. 'Many young employees, striving for stability in uncertain times, experience burnout and chronic stress as they juggle multiple responsibilities. 'Rigid schedules and the lack of work-life balance lead many to neglect self-care practices.' And finally, as ever, the global pandemic plays a part. Dr Manpreet says: 'It heightened health-related anxieties, with individuals increasingly focused on personal safety. 'This ongoing concern can create a cycle of stress that affects various facets of life. 'It's no surprise that there's a growing prevalence of conditions like bruxism.' So, aside from taking an indefinite holiday to escape the stressors of daily life, what can we do to relieve all this tension? According to Dr Sahil, your dentist can help. 'We can't manage your stress, but we can do a few things to manage the symptoms,' he says. 'Night guards can cushion the contact between the teeth during the night, or reainers, which are thinner, are designed to keep the teeth in their position and protect from night grinding. 'They come in many different forms and materials, but the ballpark cost for these is between £250 and £500.' Alternatively, nurse prescriber and aesthetic trainer, Natalja Andrejeva, says that Botox is an 'emerging go-to solution' for teeth-grinding. 'Over the past few years, I've seen a noticeable rise in clicents seeking relief from bruxism using Botox, especially post-pandemic,' she tells Metro. 'Botox is injected into the masseter muscles to relax them. This reduces the intensity of clenching and grinding without affecting your ability to chew or speak.' More Trending The result? 'Less jaw tension, fewer headaches, and better sleep and quality of life. You'll also get a slightly slimmer jawline,' adds Natalja, founder of Face Code Aesthetic, where she offers the treatment, starting at £290. 'Typically, treatment would be required every three to six months, depending on muscle strength and individual response. 'But over time, some clients find they can space out treatments more as the habit and symptoms lessen.' Of course, the ultimate — and almost impossible solution — is to live a stress-free life. But until then, be safe in the knowledge that you're far from the only one — and don't forget to unclench your jaw. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ View More » MORE: Vogue has started using AI models — what does it mean for beauty standards? 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