The best possible wedding gift? Leaving the reception without saying goodbye
Turns out it's not only intricate dances and lip-syncing – there is common sense on TikTok, too. An idea circulating there is that a new wedding rule should be introduced, stipulating that guests must not say goodbye to the happy couple, but should just leave. That way, the newly spliced spouses are allowed to enjoy the most expensive party they will ever throw, rather than being persistently interrupted and pulled off the dancefloor.
While your kneejerk reaction may be that this is rude, ungrateful ghosting on the most special day of their lives, stop for a moment and think about it rationally – and mathematically. A wedding reception can easily have 150 guests, some of whom will be in couples. Even if they're bored witless, social convention dictates that people usually stay until the last, say, two hours of the night, which means one or two goodbyes a minute. So, in fact, the couple won't be repeatedly pulled off the dancefloor, because they won't have enough time to get back on it after the previous guests bid them adieu.
Of all the wedding presents you could give, quietly slipping out of the reception is probably the one that would be most appreciated. Most weddings are already an endurance test of the same conversations ad nauseam – everyone tells you that the service was beautiful, you look lovely and they are so happy for you. These may seem like sentiments it's impossible to tire of hearing; this is not the case.
The French exit should not only become the norm for weddings – it should be rolled out for all gatherings. If you left a concert early to beat the rush, you wouldn't stop Taylor Swift in the middle of Shake It Off to thank her for a lovely evening, would you?
There is never any need to say goodbye – especially in Britain, where the rules of small talk dictate that you reply: 'You off then?' when someone announces their departure, even though that is what they just said. A message to the host the next day happily suffices; it will probably mean more, as any big do at which you are the focus is a blur anyway. No need to say goodbye at the end of that, either.
Polly Hudson is a freelance writer
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