29 Women Share Their Life-Saving Dating Safety Tips

Buzz Feed

7 hours ago

I do not think that, in any way, shape, or form, it's an exaggeration to say dating as a woman in 2025 is hell.
All that being said, I asked women of the BuzzFeed Community to share the dating safety tips they swear by. From simple things that just might save your life to routines that make going on dates even a little less nerve-wracking, here are 29 pieces of advice they shared:
"Always let a friend know where you are going and who you're with. Tell someone the guy's name and phone number before the date, his car info when he picks you up, where he's taking you and when you arrive, when you leave, and when you get home. A couple of times in my dating years, this practice helped me and helped my friends out of uncomfortable/dangerous situations."
"Always meet in a public place and remember that if they make you uncomfortable, don't stay silent. Make a scene so people are aware. They most likely enjoy the power play in making you feel awkward, so flip the situation and publicly shame them!"
"I always buy my own drink (cocktail, coffee, etc.). With that, I can leave whenever I want to, whether it is because we aren't vibing or it starts to feel unsafe. Because I bought my own drink, I'm under no pressure to stay 'because they bought me a drink.'"
"I now always avoid suggesting places that I go to frequently for the first couple of dates. I had a bad first date at one of my favorite coffee places, and then the guy showed up there two times after that date, possibly to see if I was around. My friend worked there and told me about it."
"Always carry cash, so he can't grab your last name off the card and track you down."
"Look up the phone number for the place you're going and save it in your phone beforehand. If your date is extra sketchy and you're not comfortable trying to flag down a staff member in front of them, you can go to the bathroom and call from there for assistance."
"I work as a bartender, and there was a girl who showed up early for a date and told us that if she ordered a Manhattan, then she was uncomfortable. I've heard of 'angel shots' before, but think this is better, especially if it's in earshot of the date."
"Instead of using a code phrase or word that someone else might be able to catch on to, my friends and I add three exclamation marks to our text if we need an out or are getting bad vibes on a date. For example, a text would say something like, 'Having a great time!!!' We don't usually text like this, so it's a red flag if we do, and likely wouldn't alert the person we were out with if they saw."
"I recently saw a TikTok where a girl explained that if you live in an apartment complex and feel like someone is following you home, you shouldn't turn the lights on right away when you get inside. If you do, it can tip them off as to which exact unit you live in, because that window will suddenly light up. Instead, wait a little bit, and then turn it on."
"Before you leave for a date, leave your apartment lights on. Whether they're driving you home, you're taking a rideshare service, or you're afraid they might follow you, it prevents other people from figuring out which apartment you live in if they wait around outside afterward to see you turn on the lights. If they're able to see the door you walk up to, it'll make them think there's someone else, like a roommate or family member, home as well."
"Try out a date that forces both of you to interact with others, such as karaoke. That way, if the other person starts getting weird, you'll have a whole room full of new friends who can help out."
"If you're exchanging your social media with someone instead of your phone number, give them a backup account and block them on your main account. That way if things go south, they can't find your main account and use it to contact your family or friends who may follow you on it."
"Take a dummy purse with you that you don't care about and keep your ID, card, phone, and keys on your person. If you have to bail, ask your date to 'watch your purse' and go. It will buy you a few extra minutes, and losing a thrifted bag with a lip balm in it is no big loss."
"On first dates, don't go for a long dinner. Opt for something short, like grabbing a coffee at a cafe. If you like the person, you can extend it into a meal. Another one I like is mini golf — if you don't like the person, once the round ends, you are free to leave."
"Get a 'Flare Bracelet'. The bracelet is cute and has a small, discreet button on the side. Press it once, and it will trigger a fake phone call from a script you selected to give you an excuse to leave. Press it twice, and it notifies the contacts you've selected of your location and that you're in trouble. Press it three times, it calls the cops and gives them your location (which is an optional feature)."
—AnonymousIf you, like me, were today years old when you learned that Flare Bracelets exist, allow me to be the first to tell you that they also come disguised as scrunchies, athletic bands, keychains, and initial necklaces to keep you safe and stylish.
"Trust your instincts and get out if you don't feel safe or if you sense something is 'off.' It just might save your life. One time, I went on a date with someone, and they were constantly looking across the room. I thought they were looking at the clock, which was weird, and I took it as an offense. I decided to get up and leave, but I realized soon after I got up that he was staring at a guy sitting in the booth across from us. He was a big, muscular guy with just an iced tea. He'd been sitting there for the whole date and walked in maybe five minutes after we did."
"If you're meeting someone from an app, I recommend having at least a 20- to 30-minute phone call first. It gives you far more information than texting back and forth on a dating app does. If something feels off, it's way easier to get off of a phone call than an in-person date, when you might be feeling more nervous or distracted."
"For a first date, I always meet them at a public place. After the date is over and I am leaving to go home, I deliberately turn the wrong way. It takes longer, but at least I can tell if I am being followed or not."
"Do not let them push you into meeting them at their house the first, second, or whatever time, until you are comfortable. I've had way too many guys refuse to meet at a public place for the first meeting. That's an instant red flag and block. It's a simple request, and if they can't respect my wishes to meet in public, then they definitely won't be respectful of me down the road on other things."
"I insist on driving myself and park in a well-lit and populated area. I typically try for a daytime date on the weekend, where restaurants and coffee shops are busy, and it's still plenty light outside. I also avoid more than one alcoholic drink and never leave my beverage alone (like if I go to the restroom). "
"Google the person's phone number, look them up on LinkedIn to confirm location, age, and identity. Check their social media to see how old their photos are. Do a lunch or coffee date and see how a guy reacts — if he is bitter or wants to only go to a bar, you have your answer."
"If you're getting dropped off at home by your date or a cab/Uber/taxi/Lyft, tell them you're staying with or getting dropped off at a friend's house. That way, they won't think you're going home to an empty place and will believe — if anything should happen — that someone is expecting you and will notice your absence immediately."
"Remember that it's OK to have firm boundaries and to say no to things, even if you're interested in someone. A big part of dating is putting yourself out there, but that doesn't mean you have to sacrifice things that make you feel safe or comfortable for the sake of another person's opinion."
"Always meet at a public place, and buy something with one of your cards while you're there. Should anything happen, your bank history will give an idea of where you were. Places with cameras are even better so they can match up time stamps with whomever you met, if it goes bad."
"I always, ALWAYS ask for a person's last name if we met on a dating app. If someone isn't willing to tell me, I won't go on the date. In case the worst should happen — I at least have the full name of the person. Also, I can't tell you how many people I have met on dating apps that want to either meet at my home or theirs before meeting in public — also an automatic NO. I watch too much true crime to do that."
"I have a recording of a guy friend pretending to be my dad having a conversation with me on the phone. I play it when I feel unsafe in a car like Uber or any other uncomfortable dating situation so the other person 'knows' I have someone expecting me. It plays a ring tone three times and has pauses in between for me to respond to sound as realistic as possible."
"Do not ever, ever, EVER!!!!! leave your drink unattended. Even at my favorite bar, when I go to the bathroom, I either finish my drink or pass it to the bartender or barback, and they keep it back there, out of the reach of others, until I come back. I don't give a fuck if it makes me look 'paranoid' or if they give me the side eye. You've gotta stay safe."
"If your date appears to be standing you up and a 'nice person' just happens to be nearby and wants to 'save your night' or strikes up conversation about being stood up, never fall for it. Some people do this so they appear to be the good guy even if they aren't, and some do this to make it easier to play on your emotions. Get out of there."
And finally, "Whether this is your first time ever on a date or you're a seasoned pro at this, don't overestimate your abilities. You may think that you're able to scan out every scenario and handle every issue that comes your way, but it's better to be safe than sorry."
Do you have a first date safety tip you swear by? If so, tell us about it in the comments below or via this completely anonymous form.