Jay Leno stands by marriage vows as he faces challenges of caring for wife suffering from dementia
Jay Leno made a vow nearly 45 years ago to stand by his wife Mavis in sickness and in health, and he's sticking to it.
The former late night talk show host was granted a conservatorship over his wife last year due to her dementia diagnosis after he petitioned a Los Angeles court to be her legal care provider.
Leno, 74, admitted that their unique situation has shown him what marriage is truly about.
The comedian noted that he's enjoying everything that goes along with being his wife's caregiver, primarily the fact that they get to spend time together.
When asked what he's learned about himself after assuming this new role, Leno said he's "never been particularly challenged."
"I was not in the Army. I didn't have to shoot anybody," Leno said on "In Depth with Graham Bensinger."
"I didn't have to risk my life when I got married," he said. "You sort of take a vow… and, 'Will I live up to this? Or will I be like a sleazy guy if something happens to my wife, I'm out banging the cashier at the mini mart.' "No, I didn't."
He added, "I enjoy the time with my wife. I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV, and it's OK. It's OK. It's basically what we did before, except now I have to feed her and do all those things. But, I like it.
"I like taking care of her. I think somewhere in my life, uh, she's a very independent woman, so I like that. I'm needed, you know, and I need to be there."
"I enjoy the time with my wife. I go home, I cook dinner for her, watch TV, and it's OK. It's OK. It's basically what we did before, except now I have to feed her and do all those things. But, I like it."
In the conservatorship petition filed last year, Leno wrote that Mavis "lacks the necessary capacity to execute the estate plan" due to her "major neurocognitive disorders (including dementia)."
He described his "loving marriage for more than 43 years" with his wife, but noted that he "has always handled the couple's finances," and he wanted to ensure that "Mavis has managed assets sufficient to provide for her care should Jay predecease Mavis."
Despite never being challenged the way he is now, the "Jay Leno's Garage" host affirmed that he enjoys being able to take care of his wife.
"That's the challenge, isn't it? When you have to feed someone and change them and carry them to the bathroom and do all that kind of stuff every day," Leno said. "It's a challenge. And it's not that I enjoy doing it, but I… I guess I enjoy doing it. It's OK."
He continued, "I'm not just, 'This person is attractive and sexy' and having sex with them and everything. At some point in my life, I'm gonna be called upon to defend myself… I think that's really what defines a marriage. I mean, that's really what love is. That's what you do.
"I mean, I'm glad I didn't cut and run. I'm glad I didn't run off with some woman half my age or any of that silly nonsense. I would rather be with her than doing something else."
Leno noted that their time at home together was filled with laughter.
"I know I'm told people with dementia forget the people they're with," he said. "But, you know, I do like pictures of the flashcards: Remember? Remember? Yeah. It's kind of funny. I go, 'Honey, that's President Obama. Remember we had dinner?' 'Oh, not me.' 'Yeah, yeah. Honey, it was you'… You have to find the humor in it."
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