‘Fountain of Youth' movie review: Guy Ritchie's Indiana Jones wannabe is a mealy mouthed bore
It is unbelievable that Guy Ritchie's archaeological heist film, Fountain of Youth, is just over two hours long. It felt way much longer. Starting promisingly in Bangkok, with the Thai version of 'Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)', and a man with a painting rolled up in a tube being chased by scary people, the movie swiftly dissolved into a muddy, derivative mess.
The man with the painting is Luke (John Krasinski) and he is on the hunt for the titular Fountain of Youth for Owen Carver (Domhnall Gleeson), a corporate raider and multi billionaire, who is dying of liver cancer and hopes the Fountain of Youth will give him a fresh lease of life.
Fountain of Youth (English)
Director: Guy Ritchie
Cast: John Krasinski, Natalie Portman, Eiza González, Domhnall Gleeson, Arian Moayed, Stanley Tucci
Runtime: 125 minutes
Storyline: A disgraced archaeologist and a dying corporate raider hunt for the Fountain of Youth
The Fountain of Youth is protected by a secret society called the Protectors of the Path (see what I mean by a complete lack of imagination?). Luke is trying to find the Fountain of Youth from his father, Harrison's (gosh!) notes. While we do not know if Harrison was an archaeologist, grave robber or treasure hunter; the search for the mythical wellspring was his life's work. If any of this reminds of you of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, then it is surely intended, what with Luke talking in his sleep and all.
As Luke flees Bangkok on a posh train, he is accosted by a mysterious woman, Esme (Eiza González) who also tries to take the painting from him but of course he escapes. Then we are in London where Luke's sister, Charlotte (Natalie Portman) is in the middle of a horrid divorce from Harold (Daniel de Bourg) and a custody battle for her 11-year-old son, Thomas (Benjamin Chivers) who is something of a musical prodigy.
Charlotte works at a museum and up pops Luke to steal yet another painting (he stole a painting from gangsters in Bangkok, which is why the scary men were after him). We learn that the clue to the path was hidden in the works of six artists including El Greco, Velázquez, Rembrandt, Caravaggio and Ruben. There is no The Da Vinci Code-style detour into art history with our favourite symbologist. Also, why anyone would want to hide a path only for it to involve such treasure hunts in anyone's guess. Such secrets ways are best lost in the mists of time.
After raising the Lusitania and shooting up the Austrian National Library, the merry band land up in Cairo and blast their way through pyramids that have not been opened for millennia and speed reading hieroglyphics to reach X, which marks the spot. Esme and her boss, the Elder (Stanley Tucci) as well as Inspector Jamal Abbas (Arian Moayed) from the Interpol are hot on their heels. Everything comes crashing down after the good guys have got the prize and the evil villains have earned their just desserts in the true tradition of adventure movies.
Ritchie's trademark style of slo-mos, flying coats in a blaze of bullets and bone crunching violence are anaemically present. Fountain of Youth is short on everything — from action and humour to thrills and locations.
Fountain of Youth is currently streaming on Apple TV
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Time of India
an hour ago
- Time of India
Cycling is like working out with a great view: Diganth and Aindrita
Among their many shared interests, actor-couple Diganth Manchale and Aindrita Ray both have a strong passion for cycling. This passion goes back to their respective childhood days. 'I grew up in a small town, and the one thing my friends and I did was cycle,' shares Diganth. Aindrita adds, 'I lived in the defense apartments, and back then evening bike rides with all the neighbourhood kids were a favourite.' Today, that passion is immediately evident upon entering their home. The first thing you'll notice is a wall proudly displaying two bicycles. 'Our cycles are our prized possessions; we love showing them off,' they say with a laugh. Excerpts from a conversation with the actor-couple on World Bicycle Day: 'INVEST IN GOOD CYCLING GEAR – IT MAKES ALL THE DIFFERENCE' Beyond their passion for the ride itself, Diganth and Aindrita are strong advocates for prioritising safety and comfort on two wheels. As cyclists who swear by the advantages of owning good gear, they emphasise that it doesn't pay to skimp on quality. 'A good helmet is a must. You'll also want to invest in padded cycling shorts to counter the firmness of the seats,' explains Diganth. Aindrita recounts a personal experience, sharing that she got away with just bruises after falling off her cycle once, 'thanks to the good-quality gloves. I can't imagine what would have happened otherwise.' 'FOR US, CYCLING IS NEVER MONOTONOUS' While Bengaluru once offered scenic routes for cyclists, Diganth and Aindrita lament that traffic has now taken over. The couple now head to scenic destinations like Nandi Hills, Sakleshpur, or Chikmagalur for their cycling adventures. 'The roads are emptier, and the views are just amazing. Honestly, with scenery like that, , it doesn't even feel like we're working out!' avers Aindrita. Diganth adds, 'This way, cycling never gets monotonous for us. ' 'BENGALURU HAS THE PERFECT TERRAIN FOR CYCLING, BUT…' Bengaluru's once-vibrant cycling culture has unfortunately, dwindled, Diganth and Aindrita observe. 'Back in the day, the city streets were bustling with cyclist. But now, there's just no space to cycle. Buildings and traffic have taken over, even though Bengaluru has the perfect terrain for it,' Diganth shares. Aindrita adds, 'There's a dedicated cycling track near Cubbon Park, but it's only about a 2km stretch. We hope Bengaluru will implement dedicated cycle lanes for enthusiasts like us. It's crucial for both our safety and the future of cycling in the city Check out our list of the latest Hindi , English , Tamil , Telugu , Malayalam , and Kannada movies . Don't miss our picks for the best Hindi movies , best Tamil movies, and best Telugu films .
Time of India
an hour ago
- Time of India
Imran Khan's ex-wife Avantika Malik reveals she tried hard to make her marriage work: 'I found it very difficult to walk away...'
Imran Khan and Avantika Malik tied the knot in 2011 after dating each other since 2002. They welcomed their daughter, Imara Malik Khan, in 2014. However, it came as a surprise when the couple decided to part ways in 2019. Recently, Avantika opened up about the struggles she endured while deciding to end the marriage. Avantika Malik about divorce In a conversation with Nayandeep Rakshit, Avantika confessed that coming to terms with the end of her relationship with Imran wasn't easy. 'I would have found it very difficult to walk away and say, 'This is it.' It's mostly because of the kind of human being I am. I am extremely emotional. Another reason is that, because my parents' marriage didn't work, I always felt this pressure to make mine work. I was too adamant that what was my reality as a child could not be my reality as an adult. That fear was too deep to walk away,' she expressed. 'Heroines look bigger than you': Imran Khan reveals the secret of bulked up on-screen heroes- 'Anabolic steroids and protein supplements' The worst thing she experienced She described moving out with her daughter from Imran's house as 'deeply painful'. 'It was very hard. It was the worst thing I had to go through. You just don't know anything anymore,' she stated. Avantika further added that she was fortunate to have some friends, family, and extended family who helped her cope with the situation and supported her throughout. by Taboola by Taboola Sponsored Links Sponsored Links Promoted Links Promoted Links You May Like Promoções imperdíveis de voos baratos Voos | Anúncios de Pesquisa Saiba Mais Undo In an old interview with Janice Sequeira, Avantika shared that she believed she wouldn't be able to survive without Imran, as she wasn't even earning at the time. She also admitted that she had seen her mother handle such struggles with pride, and she was confident that she wouldn't end up on the streets, owing to her privilege. Check out our list of the latest Hindi , English , Tamil , Telugu , Malayalam , and Kannada movies . Don't miss our picks for the best Hindi movies , best Tamil movies, and best Telugu films .
Pink Villa
3 hours ago
- Pink Villa
Kesha Faces Backlash from Fans for ‘Vulgar' Moves During Mighty Hoopla Performance
Kesha faces major backlash from her fans after acting out vulgar moves at her Mighty Hoopla performance. At the concert, the musician held a banana in between one of her background dancers' legs and mimicked s*cking on it. The singer was on her hands and knees as she crawled across the stage. The Die Young crooner sparked outrage on the internet following her vulgar act, where she was dressed in a red latex catsuit. The clip from Mighty Hoopla featuring Kesha was uploaded on Instagram, and the audience shared their thoughts in the comment section. Fans react to Kesha's explicit moves at Mighty Hoopla Following the controversial moves at the event, Kesha was slammed by her fans in the comment section of the clip. One of the users went on to claim, 'That's vulgar.' Another one of the fans thought, 'This is what happens when you become irrelevant. Music is supposed to be art, not p*rn!! What the heck!!' The third netizen wrote, 'This is so cringe.' Pixie Lott announces her pregnancy at Mighty Hoopla Apart from Kesha, another celebrity to grace the stage at Mighty Hoopla was Pixie Lott. The English songwriter made an appearance along with her husband, Oliver Cheshire. The singer went on to announce her second pregnancy at the event while also flaunting her bump. Lott has been married to her husband since October 2023, and the duo are also parents to a boy, whom they nicknamed Bertie. Back while announcing her first pregnancy, the singer wrote on her social media, 'We are beyond excited to announce we are expecting our first child together and cannot wait to start a family of our own.' Announcing the birth and the complete name of their son, the couple went on to post, 'Albert Charles Cheshire. It has already been the most amazing time of our lives with you little Bertie and we feel so incredibly lucky you chose us to be your m and d xx.' Meanwhile, in addition to Kesha and Lott, the star-studded lineup at Mighty Hoopla included Jojo Siwa, Ciara, and Erika Jayne.
