Why do some men think personal space is optional?

Express Tribune

31-01-2025

In yet another case that highlights the ongoing struggles of women in professional spaces, Pakistani television host Mathira recently came forward with allegations against social media personality Chahat Fateh Ali Khan, accusing him of violating her personal space during an appearance on her talk show,
The 21mm Show.
The incident has reignited discussions on consent, personal boundaries, and the persistent issue of harassment in work environments.
The uncomfortable situation unfolded when a behind-the-scenes video from the show surfaced, showing Khan attempting to get close to Mathira in a manner she later described as unwelcome.
In a widely circulated Instagram video, Chahat Fateh Ali Khan can be seen moving closer to Mathira, singing his popular song, Bado Badi, while she moves away from him.
She emphasized that she does not hug people on her show and had made this boundary clear beforehand.
She stated in a video message addressing the incident that she felt very uncomfortable and clarified that the video in question was recorded without her consent from unauthorized angles on her set.
"I am a bold person, yes, but that does not mean that you can hug me or put your hand on my back without my permission. Anyway, he did it. The video he recorded and posted came from his own cameras. Those were not our cameras. It was without our consent. We have got nothing to do with it.
Khan, in response, not only dismissed Mathira's allegations but also threatened legal action against her.
"The truth is that Mathira had been begging me to come to her show for four or five months because it wasn't a success."
He claimed that she had invited him onto her show to boost ratings and that any physical proximity between them was not inappropriate.
"I was just acting out a line from my song. You can see from my video that she enjoyed it and that she was laughing. And now she is saying I have harassed her! This is a very big claim."
He declared in his rebuttal that he had spoken to his lawyers and would take the matter to court, denying any allegations of harassment
This incident underscores a much broader issue in society—the frequent violation of women's personal space in professional environments.
It is not an isolated event but part of a larger pattern where men, knowingly or unknowingly, cross boundaries with no regard for the discomfort they cause. This problem stems from a deep-seated cultural issue that fails to recognize and respect personal space, particularly that of women.
Power Dynamics and Personal Space
In workplaces and professional environments, there is often an unspoken power dynamic that puts women at a disadvantage when it comes to asserting their boundaries. Many women feel obligated to tolerate uncomfortable situations for fear of professional repercussions, public backlash, or not being taken seriously.
Mathira, despite being a well-known figure, still had to go public and defend her right to personal space—a situation countless other women face daily, but without the platform or influence to be heard.
The violation of personal boundaries is not always overt; it can manifest in subtle ways, such as standing too close, unnecessary physical contact, or even prolonged staring.
Many women in media, corporate workplaces, and other professional settings have similar experiences, yet their discomfort is often dismissed. It is crucial to acknowledge that personal space is subjective, and just because an action may seem harmless to one person does not mean it is acceptable to another.
Respecting boundaries should not be a complicated concept, yet time and again, women are forced to justify their discomfort.
Why Does This Keep Happening?
Many women are hesitant to report incidents due to fear of retaliation, victim-blaming, or the social stigma associated with speaking out against powerful men.
The issue of personal space violations is deeply rooted in cultural norms that often fail to acknowledge a woman's autonomy. Society has historically placed men in dominant roles, making it difficult for women to assert their boundaries without facing backlash.
There is a widespread belief that women should be accommodating or tolerant of men's actions, even when they are uncomfortable.
This cultural conditioning means that many men fail to recognize when they are crossing the line. They often see their actions as harmless, failing to consider the impact on the person at the receiving end.
In Mathira's case, Chahat Fateh Ali Khan dismissed her feelings, claiming that their interaction was not inappropriate. This reaction is common—when women voice their discomfort, they are often met with denial or counter accusations instead of accountability.
Even when laws exist, cultural barriers often prevent women from exercising their rights. Many workplaces lack formal mechanisms to handle complaints effectively, and even when they do, the burden of proof often falls on the victim, making it even harder for them to seek justice.
The Dire Need for Harassment Training
One of the most effective ways to combat harassment is through education and mandatory training programs in workplaces and schools.
Harassment training should not be a formality; it must be a comprehensive program that educates employees about consent, personal space, and how to recognize and address inappropriate behavior.
Many people fail to identify subtle forms of harassment. Microaggressions, inappropriate jokes, prolonged physical contact, and suggestive comments often go unchecked because they are not classified as explicit harassment.
However, these behaviors contribute to a toxic work environment that makes women feel increasingly unsafe. Proper anti-harassment training ensures that individuals understand both explicit and implicit harassment.
Employees must be taught how to recognize problematic behavior and, more importantly, how to report it safely. These programs should not be limited to workplaces—educational institutions also need to implement training to create awareness from an early age.
Organizations must recognize that such training is not just about compliance with the law but about creating a work culture where employees feel safe, respected, and valued.
Fostering a Culture of Respect
Organizations, media outlets, and professional institutions must reinforce the importance of consent and personal boundaries.
Workplaces should have clear guidelines on personal space, ensuring that employees understand what is acceptable and what is not. People should feel safe discussing personal space and harassment issues without fear of judgment or retaliation.
Individuals who violate boundaries must face consequences, regardless of their status or position. Schools should incorporate lessons on respect, consent, and personal space into their curriculums.
While Mathira had the platform to speak out, and still faced unprecedented backlash, countless other women endure similar situations in silence.
It is time for workplaces, media institutions, and society at large to take these issues seriously, implementing tangible measures to protect women from harassment and empower them to set boundaries without fear of repercussions.
Personal space is not a privilege; it is a fundamental right.