Matrescence: The Transformative Time of Motherhood Needs Attention
The great shift that is motherhood doesn't always come easy. Having a child changes everything in us — mentally, physically, and emotionally. We give up and sacrifice, sometimes losing ourselves in the process. It's at once beautiful and destructive, powerful and painful. We can celebrate motherhood while also daring to change the mindset around what some call "matrescence."
Laura Guckian is the host of the Momfessions podcast and maternal mental wellbeing expert. Guckian shared the many life-altering things that happen during matrescence, the entry into this shift in our lives called motherhood, with Women's Health.
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"How does a woman go from perfectly healthy, at the peak of her career with no prior history of mental health problems, to being so unwell that her life falls apart?" she asked, then answered: "Motherhood."
Guckian added, "Matrescence is ... when a woman is transitioning into motherhood. Just like when we were navigating adolescence, we are going through massive hormonal changes. We are at our most vulnerable from a psychological perspective that we've ever been. Our identity is shifting, so our values and belief systems."
It's not a quick shift — sometimes it's a 10 year transition.
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Credit needs to be given to Lucy Jones, author of the 2023 book Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth, and Motherhood. The buzzy term helped moms feel seen.
The next step is to take action. To help mothers through this transitional phase in life, Guckian shared:
Ditch self judgement. Know that motherhood doesn't always come easy or naturally for all and give yourself grace.
Prioritize your mental health. We tend to put the physical changes at the forefront, but don't neglect to tend to the emotional changes.
Build a strong support system. Support should come from your family, your partner, and friends (new and old). Parenting groups may help build an understanding support system.
Know perfection isn't real. Guckian suggests to take on less advice, know your own personal limits, and avoid comparing. Moms may give themselves license to ignore what they are being told to do, and instead do what they can.
We are born, then traverse through adolescence, sometimes to matrescence, then to menopause. We become maiden, mother, then crone — each phase a beautiful and yet challenging part of life, an unfurling of all that we are. Each are full of hardships, challenges, and difficulties sprinkled with wonderment and beauty, an often hard-earned learning further deepening our wisdom and sense of self.
Love yourself every step through.
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