I love democracy. That's why your referendums terrify me
Whenever you hold a referendum, it's always about these gigantic issues like 'Shall we quickly become an independent country?' Or 'Shall we leave the EU?'
I admire your fearless spirit. Truly.
But tell me: is it the adrenaline you crave? Do you just love a gamble? I don't mean to offend – as a Swiss person, I'm obliged to remain neutral – but honestly, couldn't you maybe try something... a little less high-stakes?
In Switzerland, we live in a system of direct democracy.
Every three months or so, we vote nationwide, usually on multiple issues at once. 'Should we expand the motorway network?' 'Should pensions be increased?' And 'Should we buy new fighter jets?'
I'm not saying we're especially good at these debates, we're just very used to them.
Decision-making in referendums is a complex blend of media coverage, political lobbying and pub conversations.
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And even with all that practice, we still often get swept up in short-term moods.
Populist ideas have it easy. For example, a majority voted to ban face covering in public spaces. A "burka ban" – even though, in Switzerland, it's estimated that only about 14 people actually wear a burka.
A majority also banned the construction of new minarets – when there are currently only four minarets in the entire country.
And let's be honest, it's not like you can even see them among all the mountains.
Often, initiatives that tap into fear or target a minority have the best chances.
Or ones that are cleverly packaged in populist terms.
Not long ago, the Swiss voted that retirees should receive not 12 monthly payments a year, but 13 – without any clear plan for the funding, and despite knowing our population will soon look like a flock of David Attenboroughs.
Still, I'm grateful to live in a direct democracy.
I believe it's important not to leave everything to the politicians. And after every vote in Switzerland, there's a national autopsy of the results, a new debate about which arguments were overrated or underrated.
We try to learn something for the next round. Occasionally we succeed.
In Scotland, since 1975, you've held five national referendums. Roughly one every ten years.
But of course, your referendums are never Swissy-tame. You bet the house: 'Shall we leave the EU?' 'Shall we declare independence?' What's next: 'Shall we join another solar system?'
I'm curious, why don't you try something a little smaller – just once – Swiss-style?
Maybe your next referendum could be 'Should we commit to holding at least three referendums a year?'
Because the more you practise referendums, the better the outcomes.
Or to put it another way, voting is like brushing your teeth: if you don't do it regularly, rot sets in – when you actually could dazzle.
Michael Elsener is a Swiss comedian and talk show host. His show How to Live in Paradise is on at the Gilded Balloon 1-21 August.
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