Michelle Obama reveals huge 'blow' she faced when having kids - and why she snubbed Trump

Daily Mirror

30-04-2025

The former first lady has reflected on her life with Steven Bartlett on new Diary Of A CEO podcast
Michelle Obama is now in her sixties, but she insists she is only just getting started when it comes to putting everything together she has learned during an incredible life so far. Smiling she says: 'As a woman, I think at 61, I'm finally owning my wisdom in a way that I didn't. I think it takes women until we're about 60 to be like, 'I think I know a thing or two.''
There would be few people who could argue with that. Michelle describes herself as a 'box checker' someone who like ticking off lists and planning. But no list could prepare her for the life she has had. The former first lady was born in DeYoung, Illinois, on January 1964, to parents Frasier Robinson III and Marian Shields.
‌
‌
She grew up in Chicago's South Shore neighbourhood in a rented home with her older brother Craig, attending Chicago Public Schools and quickly excelled in elementary school. The family didn't have lots of money and Michelle was in a shared bedroom growing up but she adds: 'I knew my parents loved us, and that's a strong tool to have in your toolkit when you go to school every day.'
Planning her life out then saw her gain at law degree from the prestigious Harvard Law School. She was hired by the Chicago corporate-law firm of Sidley & Austin, where she specialised in entertainment law, and was ultimately assigned as advisor to summer associate Barack Obama in 1988.
'At the same time, I met Barack Obama, he showed up in my life as the opposite of a box checker, but somebody that I describe in my book as the ultimate swerve, he did nothing by the book. He was brilliant and interesting,' she recalls on The Diary Of A CEO podcast.
'He was really trying to unpack life in a way that people in my generation weren't trying to do and I thought, I have to do something more before I settle on this, and I think Barack helped give me the courage.'
Michelle subsequently worked in nonprofit companies in the States and as the associate dean of Student Services at the University of Chicago.
And Barack showed plenty of courage himself in the political world to get to the White House, winning the presidential election which meant Michelle was in the White House with husband between 2009 and 2017.
‌
Alongside his political rise, Michelle and her husband, who married in 1992, were facing other challenges behind the scenes as they tried to conceive in the Nineties.
On her fertility and IVF struggles, she says: 'Imagine your life as you're checking boxes: I'm waiting, I delayed having kids, I've found the love of my life, and now I'm gonna get pregnant.
'So you think it's gonna be like a box, it's gonna happen like that, and no one tells you that there really is a biological clock, that's not false.
‌
'So by the time we started really trying, which worked perfectly for our careers and maturing and having everything set… while we're waiting for our lives to be perfect, that biological clock is ticking.'
She adds: 'So when it happens to you, a box checker, somebody that thought life was gonna be so and so and you did all the right things to have things not work out, and to know that it was gonna be that way and nobody told you so that you be prepared for it, it just, it was a blow. And then as a woman, you're walking around owning the blow as if it's your fault.'
‌
Thankfully they eventually were blessed to have two daughters Malia born in 1998 and Natasha known as 'Sasha' born in 2001.
But this made their time in the White House unusual and Michelle admits it wasn't always easy.
'I was a very different First Lady, not terribly different from Hillary Clinton, but it was a different time. We had small kids in the White House, and that didn't happen often. There were just accommodations and ways that the West Wing didn't think about or work to fully protect all of us in the process as a unit.'
‌
Since Barack's time as President America has changed in many ways and the White House has a very different occupant in Donald Trump. Michelle has been vocal against him and chose not to attend his inauguration alongside Barrack, which saw her forced to deny rumours of marriage problems in April.
'You know, as a box-checking person who has been checking her whole life, doing the right thing, trying to always be an example, always going high.
'I think I just told myself, 'I think I've done enough of that', and if I haven't, then I never will. It'll never be enough. So let me start now.'
‌
And whilst she might not like everything she sees in America at the moment, or lots of things politically, her husband continues to give her hope.
Reflecting on the current state of leadership in America and the divisive nature of some people, she says: "You are not mad at me. You don't understand a lot about the world, and you've been told a lot of things about who people of my skin colour are. You've been taught to fear me, because of what you're going through.
‌
'When you put yourself in other people's shoes, I do get why people are afraid. I do understand it, but also, Barack helps me remember. You know, he says, 'this is still the country that elected Barack Obama twice'.
'Business leaders, and people in power, who want power, and haven't understood their 'why' can lead us down some dark tunnels, right?
'But it's the empathy for me, that ability to give some perspective that allows them to not take all that hate in and to really see the light in people. It's just a better way to live, it keeps us from being embittered, it keeps us hopeful, and it keeps us working for people. It's kind of necessary to get through it.'
‌
During the podcast Bartlett also thanks Michelle for the impact she has had on his life. He described Michelle as a 'huge source of inspiration' and said from England as a young black man he was 'navigating the world and looking up to role models that aren't often in close proximity in our lives'.
Afterwards he told the Mirror: 'Sitting down to chat with Michelle Obama was one of the most significant moments of my career to date. It was also illuminating. What began as a conversation about leadership became something deeper — an honest and intimate exploration of Michelle's fears, her marriage, and her journey to becoming who she is today.
"I, for one, have never heard her share her story like this before. It is certainly one of the most powerful episodes of DOAC and, as importantly, a real moment for all of us who work on the show."
Michelle is also joined by her brother and co-host Craig Robinson for the candid and emotional feature-length interview.
* The full interview with Michelle Obama and Steven Bartlett is on the latest The Diary of a CEO podcast out Thursday May 1.