EXCLUSIVE Doctors thought I had a brain aneurysm - Ashley Roberts reveals how stress of life in the Pussycat Dolls caused her 'body to shut down'
Ashley, 43, told Mail columnist Bryony Gordon how being forced to give up dancing - and discovering breathwork - pulled her back from the brink of a mental breakdown.
The performer was only 22 years old when she joined the group in 2003, eventually moving to London from Los Angeles after their split in 2010.
Ashley's new book, Breathwork, transforms the hard-won lessons from her difficult past into practical techniques for improving mental and physical health.
'My body was literally shutting down', Ashley told the podcast.
'The Dolls were in London doing a show. I was sat in my hotel room and all of a sudden I had this extreme headache.
'The pain was unreal. I also felt really sick. We were supposed to do a show in Germany the next day, so I called my manager - who told me to go to the hospital.
'The doctors thought I'd had a brain aneurysm. When I went to have an MRI, my knee locked up and that was viral arthritis entering my body.
'My mentality at the time was all about making it to the next show – but that was the moment I remember thinking: what's going on here? I need to take a second because this isn't cool.'
Ashley revealed how the cutthroat music industry had instilled a toxic work ethic that was destroying her health.
'The early 2000s was a whole different era honey', the performer told Bryony.
'No one ever spoke about mental health or the importance of checking in. I am grateful there has been a shift – people cancelling shows now when they need to look after themselves.
'I felt I was weak. It was instilled in us from a young age that we were interchangeable. There was a pressure of like, if you don't show up, who knows what might happen.
'I grew up in the dance world and there is still an attitude of – if you break your toe, you need to keep going. Your mind is programmed to think: the show must go on.
'In the end, I had to take some time off. It was a viral infection with extreme side effects – what was probably a manifestation of being so rundown.'
Following the Pussycat Dolls' split in 2010, Ashley began building her career in the UK, finishing runner-up on I'm A Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! in 2012.
After making the move to London permanent, the Heart radio presenter told Bryony how feeling 'spiritually lost' in her new home led her to discover breathwork - her second great love after music.
Breathwork is a practice that uses controlled breathing techniques to reduce stress, improve mental clarity, and promote physical and emotional healing.
'After the Dolls, I stopped dancing completely', Ashley said.
'Being in a pop group for so long, I just shut all that down and wanted to go in a different direction.
'I decided to go to Bali – I went because I knew this life coach who was putting on a retreat out there. I went on my own for 12 days, no cell phones, no technology, I completely disconnected.
'I remember doing my first breathwork class and oh my God, it felt so good. It created this sense of calm that I can't explain.
'I always felt this chaos internally and suddenly, for a few moments, it felt like I wasn't battling it anymore.
'I didn't quite realise how then how great a tool it would be in helping me process life.
'When my dad died, that ability to reflect gave me the motivation to stay strong – and I want to share that.'
To listen to the full candid interview with the former Pussycat Doll, search for The Life of Bryony now, wherever you get your podcasts.
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