I feared my baby was dead and wanting to end my life - while I was pregnant: Doctors reveal the disturbing rise of prenatal depression, why thousands of women are affected - and the red flags to watch out for
But that relief was soon replaced by wretched feelings of despair.
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The Sun
11 minutes ago
- The Sun
I've come clean about my sex addiction and now my wife's degrading routine is pushing me to the edge
1 DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER years of cheating on my wife, with different escorts and women I'd met through secretly dating and indulging in every sexual scenario you could imagine, I finally woke up to the fact I'm a sex addict. Perhaps I deserve it but since I confided in my wife, she has subjected me to a daily humiliation. At first I went along with it because I was so keen to prove to her that I was sorry and had turned over a new leaf. I've even been going to counselling to ensure I don't stray again. But it's been months now and she still insists on this degrading routine every time I get home. Do I deserve this or is it time that she gave me a bit more credit? If I'm honest, the way she is behaving makes me want to go out and hook up with a stranger again. I'm 43 and she's 42. Now, as soon as I get home she insists that I strip to nothing and then she literally inspects my body to make sure that I haven't played away. I'm so fed up and the last time she asked me to take off my clothes I refused. Later that night she refused to have sex with me saying there was no way she was touching me unless she knew I'd been faithful that day. We always used to have a good sex life but after having our first son nine years ago, it felt like she shut up shop. Looking back, she was exhausted and I could have helped more with all the sleepless nights but at the time our relationship really fell apart. I felt like the spare part in my own home as she was so focused on our baby. Dear Deidre: Cheating and can you get over it I ended up turning to porn which quickly developed into hooking up with random women who I met through various sites. The whole experience was so depressing and as soon as I'd finished having sex, I never wanted to see the woman again. Then I started going to sex parties, always arranging to attend with someone I'd met on a hook up site. One night I had a threesome with two women, and was pleasured by three other women. As I walked away I knew I had to stop. The next morning I came clean to my wife who was devastated. I was so grateful when she said she wanted to give me another chance. My counselling has finished now but it was helping me understand how I became addicted and also how to avoid falling into the same old routines. But the way my wife is pushing me, I'm worried that I might not be able to hold out. Help. DEIDRE SAYS: Many men who go on to develop porn and sex addictions live with very controlling partners. While they are at home they are model fathers and husbands, doing all the DIY, helping with chores, pitching in with all the childcare, working hard and providing. But their addiction is how they release their frustrations and insecurities. You cheated repeatedly and will have seriously damaged the trust in your relationship. It's good you both want to rebuild your marriage but your wife's daily check ups are in danger of blocking any healing. Talk to your wife and explain how these checks are making you feel. Her behaviour is very controlling and so far away from building trust that something has to change. I would strongly recommend getting couples therapy - with a sex and porn addiction specialist if you can. The Laurel Centre ( can support you both. They will be able to help you both establish a more trusting connection so that your marriage has a real chance. Dear Deidre's Sex Addiction Problems From compulsive hook-ups to secret visits to escorts, sex addiction regularly surfaces in Deidre's inbox. One woman feared her marriage was beyond repair after learning her husband was addicted to sex and repeatedly cheating on her with other women. Another reader was haunted by the risk of STIs after a secretive pattern of paying for escorts spiralled out of control. And a third man admitted his obsession with porn and multiple affairs had left him desperate to save his marriage before it completely unraveled. Sex addiction — sometimes called compulsive sexual behaviour — isn't about enjoying sex a lot. It's about feeling unable to stop. People with sex addiction may spend hours seeking porn, arranging hookups, or fantasising, even when it causes distress, damages relationships, or gets in the way of work or daily life. The key feature isn't the amount of sex — it's the loss of control. Common signs include: Feeling anxious or depressed when you're not engaging in sexual activity Trying (and failing) to cut back on porn, sex, or risky encounters Hiding behaviour from partners or friends Using sex to escape emotional discomfort Neglecting responsibilities or loved ones in favour of sexual activity Where to find support: 12-step programmes like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) Therapy, especially CBT or psychosexual counselling NHS referrals for compulsive behaviour or addiction services For many, healing begins with recognising that sex addiction isn't about lack of willpower — it's about pain, coping, and the need for support rather than shame. Ask me and my counsellors anything Every problem get a personal and private reply from one of my trained counsellors within one working day. Sally Land is the Dear Deidre Agony Aunt. She achieved a distinction in the Certificate in Humanistic Integrative Counselling, has specialised in relationships and parenting. She has over 20 years of writing and editing women's issues and general features. Passionate about helping people find a way through their challenges, Sally is also a trustee for the charity Family Lives. Her team helps up to 90 people every week. Sally took over as The Sun's Agony Aunt when Deidre Sanders retired from the The Dear Deidre column four years ago. The Dear Deidre Team Of Therapists Also Includes: Kate Taylor: a sex and dating writer who is also training to be a counsellor. Kate is an advisor for dating website OurTime and is the author of five self-help books. Jane Allton: a stalwart of the Dear Deidre for over 20 years. Jane is a trained therapist, who specialises in family issues. She has completed the Basic Counselling Skills Level 1, 2, and 3. She also achieved the Counselling and Psychotherapy (CPCAB) Level 2 Certificate in Counselling Studies. Catherine Thomas: with over two decades worth of experience Catherine has also trained as a therapist, with the same credentials as Jane. She specialises in consumer and relationship issues. Fill out and submit our easy-to-use and confidential form and the Dear Deidre team will get back to you. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page or email us at: deardeidre@
Daily Mail
11 minutes ago
- Daily Mail
Samaritans to close around half its 200 branches as volunteers raise fears over working from home
Suicide prevention charity Samaritans are planning to close around half of its 200 branches across the UK and Ireland. The charity has said that its current operation is 'not sustainable' and while an exact number of closures is yet to be confirmed, volunteers have been told it is likely to affect around 100. Founded in 1953, the charity aims to prevent suicides by connecting trained volunteers with people who may be struggling. It estimates that volunteers answer a call for help every 10 seconds and many of its staff view themselves as the fourth emergency service. But plans to work from home have raised fears among volunteers, with up to a quarter of branches having voiced concerns, as some believe it will cause many to leave the charity. Some volunteers only began helping out after feeling isolated at home themselves, while others are concerned about the pressure of dealing with suicide related calls alone. Some female volunteers have also said working alone could leave them dealing with abusive and sexual calls by themselves. The charity is also considering withdrawing from some activities, such as talks in schools and providing the Veterans Emotional Support Line. 'We're not against change,' one volunteer told the BBC, 'but they've not provided any evidence these changes will improve the charity. It feels more like the professionalisation of the Samaritans.' The location of the closures are yet to be decided. Despite half in danger of being cut, the charity has insisted its volunteers will continue to be available as usual, 24 hours a day and 365 days a year. The organisation is also understood to be considering scaling up other branches or increasing their volunteer capacity, as fewer but larger branches could mean less resources spent on managing buildings and more spent on delivering and improving its listening service. The charity's chief executive Julie Bentley said: 'Samaritans provides a life-saving service, day and night, 365 days a year but the changing needs of our callers and volunteers means thinking differently about the way our services need to work. 'We are engaging with our volunteers on proposed improvements that will mean we are able to answer more calls, have more volunteers on duty, and be there for more people in their darkest moments. 'Samaritans volunteers are hugely dedicated to being there for our callers and they remain at the heart of our service, but it has become increasingly clear that having over 200 branches, varying in size from 10 to 300 volunteers, is not sustainable and hinders us providing the best possible service to people who need us.' The charity's board is expected to meet about plans in September. Closures could begin in April in the UK while consultation on potential closures in Ireland could start in 2027.
The Sun
3 hours ago
- The Sun
I found the ultimate 10/10 gas BBQ – it's perfect for unpredictable weather and has space for 14 burgers
WHILST many of us love cooking over fire on a charcoal barbecue, a gas barbecue is a stress-free solution to outdoor grilling. With pretty unpredictable weather in the UK, the ability to turn a knob and be ready to cook al fresco in minutes is definitely a good option. 6 A gas barbecue also allows you to control the heat and some have useful side burners for warming sauces or searing a steak. Some models can be expensive - but there are some budget friendly gas options available. Lynsey Hope shares her verdict on the best gas barbecues under £150. Uniflame 2 Burner Gas BBQ 6 For less than £70, this is a very wallet-friendly gas barbecue. It didn't take long to assemble - less than 30 minutes - and it looks stylish with a black control panel and stylish chrome control knobs. The cooking area is easily big enough for 14 burgers and there was plenty of room to cook enough food for about seven people on this. It seemed robust and hard-wearing and lit easily. It cooked burgers evenly without charring them and it comes with a warming rack. For the price, I was really impressed with this. It was easy to wipe clean and it's a relatively compact design so easy to store, too. Performance: 5/5 Value: 5/5 Overall score: 10/10 B&Q Black 2 Burner Gas BBQ £100, 6 Difficult to put together, taking over an hour. The instructions were quite tricky to follow. Once up, it did a pretty decent job. It lit easily and seemed to cook food pretty evenly. It's not huge, but can cook enough food for around six people. It is compact so a great option for smaller gardens and it is resistant to rust if you need to keep it outside. For the price, it's a generous cooking area. No bells and whistles, but a basic model at a fair price that did a decent job. Everything that came off this grill tasted pretty good. Performance: 4/5 Value: 4/5 Overall score: 8/10 George Foreman Portable 1 Burner Gas BBQ £149, 6 A single burner gas barbecue that is ideal for camping or trips to the beach. It's easy to assemble though you will need a screwdriver for the lid and you have to screw in the thermometer. The fiddliest bit is putting together the regulator yourself. It's a bit of a faff as you have to lubricate the hose with water onto the regulator and the barbecue and then you use small hose clamps to tighten everything. The instructions were simple and clear, though it took me a while to get it done. Once set up, it's a dream to use. It gets to temperature in just five minutes and the temperature control is smooth. There were a couple of cool spots in the corners but otherwise it provided pretty even coverage, allowing you to cook food evenly no matter where it was on the grill. It's easy to move around and lift on to a table top for use. The cooking was pretty average but it produced good char lines and though everything was delicious some of the others cooked faster than this. Performance: 4/5 Value: 3/5 Overall score: 7/10 Argos Home 2 Burner with Side Burner Gas BBQ £72, 6 This took ages to put together, around 90 minutes, and the diagrams were unclear. Once up, it looked pretty flimsy and I felt the structure was wobbly. It's not very sturdy and though it's a wallet-friendly price, I don't think it will last long. The manufacturers say it's big enough to feed six to eight people but I thought the grill size was quite limited. I struggled to cook enough food on here for a family of five. There were hot and cold spots too. Only one section of the grill really got hot enough to sear on. The side burner was a great feature and I found it really handy for whipping up side dishes. But there is no higher warming grill, either. There is a storage shelf for keeping ingredients close at hand. The compact size does make it easier to store and the wheels mean you can move it around the garden with ease. Performance: 2/5 Value: 3/5 Overall score: 5/10 Outback Omega 250 2-Burner Gas BBQ £129.99, 6 A superb gas barbecue with easy-to-use controls and good cooking ability. It still took a while to put together but it seemed robust and has two wheels, making it easy to move to the perfect spot in your garden. It has a handy foldable side table and I loved the side burner, which was really handy for side dishes or cooking onions. It has a push-button ignition, a grease collection cup and a metal storage shelf at the space. It was light and easy to clean, perfect for both amateur and seasoned outdoor chefs. What I liked most was its ability to lightly cook sirloin steaks to a medium-rare consistency - nothing was overcooked.
