EXCLUSIVE: Michelle Obama Explains Why Embracing Life's 'Messy' Parts Makes You a Better Parent
Many of us were first introduced to Michelle Obama on the national stage, as a successful attorney who'd worked in higher education and health care and the mother of two elementary school-aged daughters. Her husband Barack Obama's meteoric rise to the presidency proved her family was capable of living in the spotlight. Still, some questioned if she'd be able to weather the inevitable scrutiny that would come with raising the very first Black children to live in the White House and the youngest since the Kennedys. Spoiler: She would.Sasha and Malia Obama have grown to be responsible, resilient, independent adults, and it's become incredibly clear that Michelle Obama was up to the task of motherhood under a microscope—and many other initiatives in service of children. From her health care and education advocacy to children's television production and a new podcast that further sharpens the picture of her own family, Michelle Obama is a caregiving powerhouse. That commitment to helping us grow our own healthy, happy kids is what makes Michelle Obama a clear choice for the Parents 2025 Next Gen Awards.'Barack and I did everything we could to give our girls as normal of a life as possible. When we were at the White House, we made sure they were doing things like making their beds every morning and as they got older, getting summer jobs,' Michelle Obama said in an exclusive interview with Parents. She says her parenting style has been a mix of supporting her daughters and holding them accountable. She wanted to raise children who knew how to think for themselves, even in the most extraordinary circumstances.'Once we left the White House, their lives slowly began to inch a little closer toward normalcy,' she says. 'But the truth is, their circumstances have been extraordinary in so many ways—and that forced them to learn critical skills like discipline, flexibility, and determination to go after what they really wanted.'Michelle Obama was laser-focused on instilling the value of hard work and accountability in her daughters. She was intent on making their lives as normal and authentic as possible.
An Authentic Voice
Since leaving the White House, Michelle Obama seems to have rejected the narrow expectations of the old guard in favor of her own values; she's been creative and has opened up about family life—parenting, marriage, family values, and even her own childhood—in a way few former First Ladies have before. On IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson, a podcast she hosts with her older brother Craig Robinson, Michelle Obama is candid about navigating relationships, raising kids, and a number of other hard topics.'It's so easy for us to curl up into this protective instinct and not talk about the messy or more complicated bits of our lives. It can feel dangerous to expose those imperfect parts of ourselves. But over the years, I have learned that it's really the opposite,' Michelle Obama says.She says that authentically telling her own story helps to highlight the commonalities that make life simpler for all of us. On IMO, she's shared memories of how her mother favored Craig and learning to stand up for herself growing up in Chicago. 'When we realize that and learn each other's stories, it makes living life, as well as raising kids, so much easier,' says Michelle Obama. 'As parents, we're all going through similar things. And some of us have questions that others have the answers to. But we're not going to get those answers without having the courage to put ourselves out there.' She says modern parents are often overwhelmed by anxiety around 'getting it right,' and the kind of competition social media sparks only exacerbates that.
'Every time we pick up our phones, we see images of families that just look too perfect. It makes you think everyone is doing better than you. And that's just not reflective of reality,' she says.Listening to someone who has 'done it all' talk about the challenges in her own journey helps struggling parents untangle some of that anxiety.'Each of us has our own style when it comes to raising kids. So if you're doing something different than your friends and neighbors, that's OK,' says Michelle Obama. 'Just like our kids, we're going to have times where we succeed and times when we fail. That's a part of the journey. We have to recognize that, and give ourselves—and each other—a little grace along the way.'
Making Life Easier for Parents
The truth is, Michelle Obama has always been dedicated to our wellness. During her time in the White House, she championed the Let's Move! Initiative, a public health campaign designed to combat childhood obesity through government partnerships with businesses and philanthropic organizationsSince then, she's co-executive produced Waffles & Mochi, a show that demystifies healthy food and cooking for children, and founded PLEZi Nutrition, a drink company that makes beverages without added sugar. She says children's health should be a community effort.'Children's health is about so much more than our kids. It's about all of us,' she says. 'What's available in our stores, what's on the menu in schools, whether or not our kids can play safely at the playground, it all ladders up to the well-being of our families and communities.' Michelle Obama believes a healthier nation starts with the littlest members of our families.'We've simply got to make it easier for families to raise healthier kids. We need to make the healthy option the easy option. We've got to make it easy for parents to afford—and cook with—fresh ingredients. We've got to make it easy for kids to get some exercise during the school day,' she says. 'We've got to make it easy for everybody to hydrate themselves without loading up on sugar. It's a challenge I've tackled from a variety of ways for more than a decade and a half. And I'm not letting up any time soon.'
An Empty Nester
When most of us met Michelle Obama 20 years ago, she was a person parenting in the public eye. Now, she's a woman who's sharing the lessons she learned from facing the criticism of the political machine and coming out of the other side—with her principles, commitment to wellness, and her family intact.'And now here we are. My girls are both in their 20s. And while they know that even now, they are under more scrutiny than others their age, they've learned to roll with the punches,' says Michelle Obama. 'I'm always so impressed by how they handle it—with grace, resolve, and charm. These days, more than anything, I can't wait to see how they surprise us next.'
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