Kristen Kish's Return To Her Birth Country Was Beautifully Complicated
When Kristen Kish, winner of Top Chef Season 10 and now its host, traveled to South Korea in June 2022, she was nervous. Adopted at four months by an American family, the celebrity chef had never returned to her birth country — and wasn't sure what she would find, feel, or even understand about a place that was hers and yet also wasn't.
'I thought I was supposed to feel this wave of emotion of 'Oh my god, I'm home.' I thought I was supposed to look out into the world of Korean people and feel like I belonged. But it didn't happen,' she tells me over a lavish spread at Borit Gogae, a cozy Korean restaurant in Los Angeles' Koreatown that specializes in banchan. 'I felt more like a tourist and a visitor, which I certainly was and am. But I felt guilty for not feeling those feelings.'
It took her a couple days to realize she couldn't force a moment of emotional revelation. 'Me not feeling anything doesn't mean that I have any less respect for where I come from. I need time to discover it,' she says. But there was one moment that gave her what she didn't know she needed. While visiting a hand-carved stamp shop, she decided to get one made with her Korean name. When the shopowner asked her what it was, she hesitated, nervous to tell her adoption story.
'I didn't want to feel like I was being judged. But he said, 'You belong here,' she pauses, her voice catching. 'That for me was the moment of the trip.'
The story didn't make it into her debut memoir, Accidentally On Purpose, released last month, but it speaks to the heart of her improbable journey — one shaped by chance and intention, clarity and ambiguity. In the book, Kish shares more about growing up as a Korean adoptee in a white Midwestern family, navigating her queer and Korean identities, and rising to become one of the most recognized chefs on television.
In our first episode of Fam Style, Kish and I sit down to talk about how Korean food has helped her connect to her heritage, the idea of belonging, and the layered journey of coming home — all over a meal that tastes like a memory.
Fam Style spotlights Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) changemakers across entertainment, food, art, and culture. Over shared meals at AAPI-owned restaurants, we sit down with creators, artists, and innovators to talk about identity, ambition, community, and the stories that shape us. Through intimate conversations and the language of food, we highlight the nuance, joy, and resilience within the AAPI experience — one dish at a time.
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