Overcoming expat loneliness: Experts' guide to forming bonds in new countries

The National

12-05-2025

The debilitating effects of loneliness are back in the spotlight after Meta boss Mark Zuckerberg revealed his company plans to create personalised 'AI friends' to tackle human isolation. With 2025 as the UAE's Year of Community, unity and connectivity are at the forefront of the national focus, highlighting many different aspects of life in the emirates and how we connect and relate to one another. Earlier this year, Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid, Vice President and Ruler of Dubai, wrote on X that the initiative 'highlights our priorities for the future: strengthening social bonds and fostering unity across society'. Scientists continue to delve deeper into the impact on loneliness and social anthropologists warn about the role that social media and AI play not only in deepening the divides between us, but in making us increasingly isolated from one another. A recent study by Emory University in the US compared loneliness rates of people aged 50 to 90 in 29 countries. It found that while it is often the elderly who describe themselves as feeling the most alone, the US had the second highest prevalence of lonely middle-aged adults, topped only by the Netherlands. 'There is a general perception that people get lonelier as they age, but the opposite is actually true in the US, where middle-aged people are lonelier than older generations,' said researcher and professor Dr Robin Richardson. 'Loneliness is an emotional state that feels like being persistently isolated and disconnected from others, and even feeling empty,' says psychologist Judy Seoud from Thrive Wellbeing. 'You don't have to be physically alone to experience loneliness; you can still struggle to feel seen, and even in a crowd. 'It can show up in subtle ways such as low energy, emotionally withdrawing and not engaging with friends and family. There can be an increase in negative self-image and self-talk, such as 'No one likes me' and 'Why would anyone even want to be my friend?'' Like many emotional responses, loneliness can present in a number of psychological and physiological ways, with many similar to conditions and disorders such as depression, stress or fatigue. Hiba Salem, a psychologist at Sage Clinics, adds: 'Persistent feelings of emptiness, emotional flatness, and even somatic symptoms like disturbed sleep or chronic tiredness can reflect an unmet need for meaningful human connection. 'Recognising loneliness means attuning to the subtle cues of emotional hunger – not how many people are around you, but how deeply seen, safe, and supported you feel in their presence.' Former radio presenter Simone Heng's experiences of making connections in a new country led her to tackle the subject in her book Let's Talk About Loneliness. Heng lived in the UAE from 2008 to 2013, presenting the midmorning Lowdown show on Virgin Radio. She says the expat and immigrant version of loneliness can be different from feeling alone or isolated in your home country, where you still share commonalities and experiences and have existing connections. 'I think it can feel even worse as an expat to feel lonely sometimes, because people are so connectively promiscuous in the expat community and so urgent in their need to connect because of the finite amount of time they are staying there,' she says. 'If you can be in a place where people are so social, particularly in the UAE, and still find yourself without friendship, self-loathing can kick in.' She adds: 'Expat loneliness carries a unique psychological texture. It's not just about missing people, but mourning the loss of familiarity, identity anchors and emotional continuity. This type of loneliness often includes grief and disorientation.' For Heng, oversharing was a personal sign that she was feeling lonely and trying to remedy the situation by going too deep, too soon. 'This was a massive one for me,' she says. 'The brain goes: 'I'm under threat, I don't know when I'm next going to see someone to talk to' and so you bombard people with your whole life story. The irony is that when we meet new people, because we as a species are wired to be sceptical of newcomers in case that person is a threat, by doing this, you actually repel the connection you are trying to make.' Moving to the UAE can be a big step, but being new to a country can be the very thing that strengthens bonds with people you meet because many will be feeling similarly, says Heng. 'The experience of being an expat, of being transient, is something you can connect with people about,' she says. 'Transience is a great surface-level thing to connect on. 'These are people who share that common experience which is one of the biggest hurdles to connection.' The MyDubai Communities' digital platform, launched in April by Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed, Crown Prince of Dubai, UAE Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Defence and Chairman of The Executive Council of Dubai, aims to remove barriers to connection by putting the forging of 'community bonds' at its heart. The platform helps users discover communities that share their passions and interests and to join groups across the UAE, facilitating communication and new friendships. 'Feeling lonely is nothing to be ashamed of, which is why having a community platform like MyDubai is an amazing initiative,' says Seoud. 'We're all looking for connection and ways to find people that share common interests with us, and this platform makes it easier than ever to do just that.' Building meaningful relationships in a new place is, says Heng, is about filtering out 'superfluous connection' and seeking those who share your values and interests. 'If you feel lacking in community or feeling lonely amongst the people you're with, this is to do with values alignment,' she says. 'The salve to loneliness is intimate connections, not followers on social media or micro connections such as with people you meet at events. 'When making friends as an adult, be compassionate. Use your commonalities to connect and highlight how you're alike, rather than how you are different.'