Nathan Cleary opens up on feelings of 'embarrassment' as the defiant halfback looks to bounce back after New South Wales' Origin heartache
Over the weekend, the 27-year-old led the Panthers to a huge 32-10 victory against Parramatta, with the star half-back coming off the bench to score a try.
But in the wake of Wednesday night's thumping against Queensland, the Kangaroos star explained he had felt multiple different emotions, including 'embarrassment and self-loathing'.
'Failure is filled with embarrassment, self-loathing and hurt,' he wrote on Instagram on Monday.
'It is also a test of character and in amongst that test is a chance to stand up, face it, learn from it and get better…
'We move onwards and upwards.
'Thank you to all those that support me unconditionally, big love.'
It comes after Cleary admitted that he would struggle to 'ever fully get over' the anguish of not retaining the shield.
'In the past, after a poor Origin performance, I've probably just tried to squash it and act like it didn't happen,' he said.
'This time I saw it as an opportunity to analyse it a bit more and try and delve deeper into why I didn't perform the way I wanted.'
The Panthers star also revealed that he had held conversations with his dad, Ivan, and explained that the Panthers coach 'made me feel a lot better'.
Cleary had been struggling with a groin injury during the series, which meant he was forced to hand over the kicking duties to Eels star Zac Lomax for the second and third Tests.
Despite the injury, Cleary struggled to grab the game by the scruff of the neck, stating he was hugely frustrated with his individual performance during the final Test.
'It was a bit of a weird one. Pretty much straight after the game on Wednesday, Dad didn't want me to back up,' Cleary said, explaining he was insistent upon turning out for Penrith over the weekend.
'But then I sort of thought about it for a bit and thought if I don't play I'll just be sitting at home hating myself and continuing that sort of disappointment from Wednesday night, so I thought I need to get around the boys.
'I think part of (why he backed up) is being there for these boys at Penrith and the other part of it was, selfishly, I wanted to move on.
'I went through that grieving process … but you can only feel sorry for yourself for so long, and it's about how you pick yourself up and go again and use it as a lesson.
'I was extremely disappointed with the way I played and the way we performed. We let a lot of people down but the best way to sort of repay it is to come out and play well.'
Despite their disappointing start to the season, the Panthers are now fifth in the NRL ladder, having won five matches on the bounce.
And some fans have gotten excited on social media over the prospect that the Panthers could go on to seal their fifth-straight premiership.
'They're going to win it again this year aren't they?' one fan said after Penrith's victory this weekend.
'They are serious contenders again,' another said.
The Panthers come up against a struggling Rabbitohs side this Friday at the CommBank Stadium.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Guardian
2 hours ago
- The Guardian
The Itoje legacy: Nigerian roots shaped the Lions captain who has inspired a new generation
It is 2017 and Maro Itoje has just been selected as the youngest member of the British & Irish Lions squad. He is asked for his favourite Lions memory and his response is illuminating. 'Ugo Monye scoring his try in the third Test [against South Africa in 2009]. When you're young and growing up, you look at players that look like you. And, by that, I don't mean eyes, ears, nose, I mean who have the same skin colour, who you can identify with. Ugo is one I could identify with, as we're both of Nigerian descent. To see him score that amazing try resonated with me.' On Saturday, when the Lions begin their series against Australia, Itoje will win his 100th Test cap. He is England captain, the first black captain of the Lions and the country's most prominent rugby player. And you cannot help but wonder to what extent he himself has passed the torch. For there can be little doubt that the number of British-Nigerian players making a significant impact in the Premiership is at an all-time high. Gabriel Ibitoye finished the season as joint top try-scorer, Immanuel Feyi-Waboso began it as England's next big thing. Andy Onyeama-Christie, Beno Obano, Nick Isiekwe, Max Ojomoh, Afo Fasogbon and Emeka Ilione all shone across the campaign. The list goes on. Indeed it is five years since Itoje picked his Nigerian British XV on social media, with Monye as director of rugby and his Aunty Funke as team manager. These things are subjective but by most metrics, today's team would be considerably stronger and many of its contingent would have been inspired by Itoje's totemic performance for the Lions against New Zealand in 2017, just as he was by Monye's try. 'There's only a small number of us who have contributed to the Premiership,' says Monye, who recalls being approached by Itoje's father, Efe, to offer his gratitude at paving the way for his son. 'We're punching way above our weight, it's totally disproportionate but of course you feel a greater sense of pride when it is one of your own and someone who has a similar heritage.' Itoje, 30, is passionately proud of his Nigerian heritage. He co-founded the Akoje Gallery to showcase African art and established his charity the Pearl Fund which seeks to tackle poverty among children in Nigeria and other African countries. And after England's 2019 World Cup final defeat by South Africa he quoted a Nigerian proverb: 'When a ram goes backwards, it is not retreating. It moves back to gather more strength.' Within the rugby-playing, British-Nigerian community he is idolised while the president of Rugby Africa, Herbert Mensah, sees parallels between Itoje and Siya Kolisi, the Springboks captain. 'What does Maro mean to Africa? In many ways, in the same way that Siya Kolisi symbolises something with a similar kind of temperament, that he has now become a global brand,' says Mensah. 'Maro has also risen to being that brand, in Africa he still represents that leader. He's not confused as to his heritage and in many ways he is the typical, educated African son. He is someone that every parent craves for.' Stallions RFC is a sevens-playing London-based team made up predominantly of players with Nigerian heritage. It is a successor to London Nigerian and was founded in 2009, initially as Nigeria Exiles. Suvwe Obano – brother of Beno and cousin of Itoje – and Matt Ilube, son of the former Rugby Football Union chairman Tom, are among those who have turned out in recent years. 'Within those who are in British-Nigerian rugby, Maro is definitely a role model,' says Ade Ojigbo, who joined Stallions in 2022. 'When [Maro] got announced as Lions captain someone on the group chat said: 'Oh, does that mean he won't be available for us next week?' I look at the example of my mum and dad, they're not the biggest rugby fans, I don't know if they'd be able to name him. For those of us within rugby, within sport, it is that idea of you've got someone who is like you, similar to you. To the extent that goes wider? Obviously it will have an impact, the fact that a British-Nigerian is captain of a major sporting international team and now the Lions, it probably will have reach, but I think there is still a job to do.' There is a well-established path from Stallions to the Nigeria XVs and sevens teams to the extent that they sent 11 players for the pre-Olympic qualifiers and the Olympic qualifiers. This year eight players represented Nigeria in the Africa 7s. 'We are very much a pathway for the Nigerian national team but it's actually a bit bigger than that because there's a cultural and community aspect to it as well,' adds Ojigbo 'A lot of boys who are British-Nigerian, they love rugby, they love playing it but they can feel that as if rugby isn't for them or there's no space for them in rugby or they don't feel seen, they still feel on the outside of that. It's creating that space where rugby can be the sport that is open as people try and see and no matter who you are you can find a space where you can flourish in that.' To revert to Itoje's Lions memories, it is telling that the 2005 tour of New Zealand did not register with him. Hardly surprising perhaps, given the disaster it was, but as he has pointed out, he did not start watching rugby until 2007 when he was 13 and a pupil at St George's School in Harpenden at the same time as Owen Farrell, who was three years above him. Sign up to The Breakdown The latest rugby union news and analysis, plus all the week's action reviewed after newsletter promotion 'It's typically played in grammar schools and in private schools and Nigerian parents want to give their child the best education and actually that means young British-Nigerian children are going to these schools where rugby is played and they're picking up the ball aged 11, having not had a background in rugby,' says Ojigbo. It is significant, then, that Feyi-Waboso and Ilione are both trainee doctors while Itoje tells a story of how one year, for an April fool's joke, he sent his father an email explaining that he would be concentrating on rugby and no longer intended to go to university. Efe did not speak to him for three days. 'I totally can relate to that and I think every lad who has Nigerian heritage and a similar upbringing would have a similar story to that,' adds Monye. 'The number one reason why you see so many British-Nigerians play rugby is because of the education system. Education in Nigeria is number one so if you can find an opportunity to have your son or daughter attend private school you absolutely will. And just as a direct consequence of that, you're likely to then pick up a rugby ball. 'I think we're a genetically gifted nation. I don't think people are being sent to school to become these legendary rugby players, they are sent there to get great educations and actually if you asked most Nigerian mums and dads, it's education first and that's it.' According to the most recent data, the Nigerian population in the UK is 270,000 but significantly bigger when factoring in those born here. But only somewhere between 6-7% of the population in the UK attends private school, so the scope for untapped potential becomes clearer. Monye illustrates the point perfectly when recalling his playing career. 'When Steve Borthwick announces his side he says, this is the best 23 players in England. I always think, is it? We don't know. We have a pathway within the private school system, it is superb. What about the rest? Imagine if we could tap into that. When I played on the world sevens series, I was considered one of the quickest on the scene, one of the quickest in the Premiership, and in the international game. At my state school I wasn't even the fastest in my class. 'Of course, you need more than just pace or natural ability but genetics matter, in contact sport it bloody matters and I believe there are a lot of lads out there who have the core ingredients, who could be moulded into something special. But we would never know.'
The Guardian
2 hours ago
- The Guardian
‘An absolute privilege': Australia's octogenarian basketball team know it's never to late to don the green and gold
Oscar Carlson describes himself, rather self-deprecatingly, as 'just an old bloke that does stuff'. Only doing stuff – in this 84-year-old's case – extends to representing his country on the international sporting stage. Last month, Carlson was a member of the Australian 80-year plus men's team at the World Maxibasketball Championship in Switzerland. The Boomer Boomers, if you will. The championships feature national teams in age categories from 35-plus and upwards; games are played under ordinary basketball rules, with minor modifications for older age categories – including an extended shot clock and smaller courts. Coach Adrian Hurley (top left) addresses the team during a timeout in a game The championship, held in late June and early July across the Swiss host cities of Bellinzona, Lugano and Locarno, are a major undertaking – involving approximately 6,000 athletes, the event is larger than the Winter Olympics. The tournament is organised by the International Maxibasketball Federation, which was founded in the early 1990s; the latest world championship was the 17th edition. The tournament offers a powerful message about the importance of active ageing and the role that sport can play in providing community for older people. The Australians won their opening game in a one-point thriller over Brazil, but then fell to a heavyweight United States. 'We weren't flogged, but we were well beaten by a better side,' Carlson says. 'It was a great experience.' The team huddle. The warmup. Andy Andriejunas with the ball. Frank Tomasi sits on the bench during a game A clash with a second Brazilian team rounded out the group – but their opponent's age advantage was telling. 'They were a bit younger,' Carlson says. 'But they were good games, very competitive. We did OK but weren't up to the standards of those guys.' Carlson comes from a sporting family; his father was a cricketer and his mother was a gymnast. At first, Carlson did not see himself following in the family tradition. 'I was a skinny little kid growing up,' he says. 'Bullied at school, beaten up, until one day …' On that fateful day, aged 12 or so, Carlson found his way down to the surfboat club in Melbourne. It was the start of a lifelong love of sport – a love that has stayed with him seven decades later. The team poses for a group photo in Bellinzona A career in teaching and physical education followed, with a detour into a monastery. 'Swim coach, rugby league coach, etcetera etcetera,' he says. 'The rest is history.' As Carlson passed through the years, more sports followed. He became a basketball coach of one of his schools; later in life he became a marathon runner and an Ironman contestant. 'Sport was my go-to thing – I was active, I wasn't brilliant at it, but I was good enough,' he says. 'It was my way of life.' And now, at 84, representing Australia in international basketball. 'An absolute privilege,' he says. 'Of all things, to represent your country in any sport, for any reason – it's a privilege.' The Australia's men's over‑80 basketball team faces Argentina in front of family and friends in Switzerland The Australian team was coached in Switzerland by Adrian Hurley – who brought serious sporting pedigree to the role. Hurley coached the national team, the Boomers, at two Olympics; he was a torchbearer at the Sydney 2000 Games, and played an important role in establishing the Australian Institute of Sport basketball program in the 1980s that continues to this day. Coaching the 80-plus team required a somewhat different skill set. In a speech to the team ahead of the opening game, Hurley said his first priority at the championship was ensuring all team members returned safe and healthy to Australia. A member of the team takes off his jersey after a game Those were no idle words. While staying active into older age is good for health, playing competitive basketball can come with its own challenges. 'In the Pan-Pacific Games last year, two blokes had heart attacks in consecutive days,' the team captain, Bryan Hennig, says. Fortunately, in one of the cases, a player on the opposition team was a trained paramedic. Some courtside defibrillation followed and the player made a full recovery. 'He was back two days later watching games,' Hennig says with a laugh. Having returned to Australia, Carlson is already on to his next challenge – he wants to win a world title in his age group in kayaking. Sadly for the basketball team, Carlson is not the only player who might not be lacing up again in two years' time for the next championship in Buenos Aires, Argentina. Players from the Australian team congratulate their Argentina counterparts after a game as the nation's most senior representative At 86, Hennig is already outside the 80-85 age category; he was inducted into the South Australian Basketball Hall of Fame in 2021, including for his work promoting masters basketball. Player-manager Gordon Watson will be over 85 by Buenos Aires – putting both into the 85-plus category. In Switzerland, the team were worried that there may not be enough players in that age group to field an Australian team next time around. 'I'm finished,' Hennig says. 'The hardest part is finding 80-year-olds – they're thinning out!'
The Guardian
3 hours ago
- The Guardian
Owen Farrell expected to be left out of Lions squad for first Wallabies Test
Owen Farrell is expected to be left out of the British & Irish Lions squad for Saturday's first Test against Australia in Brisbane. With Tom Curry poised to get the nod at openside flanker ahead of Jac Morgan, the Lions are set to run out for a Test with no Welsh representation for the first time since the 19th century. Farrell's omission comes despite an impressive 30-minute cameo from the bench in last Saturday's 48-0 victory over the AUNZ Invitational XV. Offering cover at inside-centre and fly-half he was tipped to make the Test squad but he is now likely to have to wait for a seventh Lions cap with father Andy preferring Marcus Smith on the bench. Elsewhere, Curry is set to start in the No 7 jersey, prevailing amid fierce competition from Morgan and Henry Pollock, both of whom appear likely to miss out on the matchday 23, with Tadhg Beirne in line to start at blindside flanker. Ben Earl's versatility is expected to earn the Saracens back-rower a place among the replacements. Farrell is set to rely on a core of his Ireland stalwarts with Dan Sheehan, Joe McCarthy, Beirne, Jack Conan, Jamison Gibson-Park, James Lowe and Hugo Keenan all in line for starts. Maro Itoje will captain the side from the second row and win his 100th Test cap with Finn Russell pulling the strings from fly-half. In the centres, Farrell is leaning towards the all-Scotland combination of Sione Tuipulotu and Huw Jones. Tommy Freeman is primed to start on the right wing while Ellis Genge and Tadhg Furlong are the favourites for the starting prop roles. Ollie Chessum, Alex Mitchell and Bundee Aki are lined up for places on the bench. With Blair Kinghorn and Mack Hansen nursing knee and foot injuries respectively, and Farrell missing out, Smith is set to profit and be asked to cover fly-half and fullback. His selection on the bench comes after a rollercoaster season in which he was England's most creative spark from fly-half during the autumn campaign before losing his place to Fin Smith, moving to fullback before finding himself on the bench. He has never looked entirely comfortable at fullback but his versatility earned him a place in the initial Lions squad and so far he has appeared in five of the six matches. Barring a late change of heart, he is set to be preferred to Farrell. It may be significant that Smith assumed goal-kicking duties when both he and Farrell came on last Saturday. Russell will begin as the nominated kicker but without Kinghorn, the Lions need a back-up and Farrell has endured problems all season as a result of his groin injury. It is understood the issue has caused him some discomfort of late. Having not won a Test series since 2013 and with just one win since 1997, the Lions have set themselves a lofty target of a 3-0 whitewash over the Wallabies and have boldly declared their aims to be the best ever Lions team. Sheehan, who is in line to start at hooker, said: 'It would be a good story and a good legacy to have a winning series. We haven't delved too much into the wider picture. We did at the start when we were trying to frame the mindset, but this week has been all about Saturday, and how our prep goes into winning this game on Saturday, and we're going to throw everything at that. 'There's going to be no holding anything back, or waiting for the next two Tests. It's all about Saturday. I think we're in a good spot. Lads are hungry, and we're expecting the Wallabies to be hungry. I think it'll be a good Test and fireworks on Saturday. 'No one is going to shy away from it, our aim is a Test series win and I don't think anyone should be afraid of saying it. It gives you a responsibility to go out and do it. There's a clear gameplan to have a dominant series and win. Sign up to The Breakdown The latest rugby union news and analysis, plus all the week's action reviewed after newsletter promotion 'It's the way I was brought up in my career, to be very clear in what you want out of a season or a campaign and then you have to attack it. There's a bit of a responsibility on you, you've said it out loud so you have to go do it.' Meanwhile, Ewan Ashman and Rory Sutherland will both start for Scotland against Samoa before heading for Lions duty. The front-row forwards have been named in Gregor Townsend's team for their final summer tour match at Eden Park in Auckland on Friday. Darcy Graham is among the players dropping out of the team which lost to Fiji after already joining up with the Lions. The three Scotland players have been earmarked to take part in next Tuesday's Lions match against a First Nations & Pasifika XV.
