Coroner finds musician Hamish Kilgour overwhelmed by challenges before death
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supplied
WARNING: This story contains content that may be destressing to readers.
A coroner has found musician Hamish Kilgour was overwhelmed by life's challenges before his death.
The former frontman of Dunedin band
The Clean
died by suicide in November 2022, following a marriage breakdown in New York and a new start in Christchurch.
Kilgour had been living in New York for decades, where he had a wife and son, but travelled to New Zealand on tour in 2019 and could not leave because of the Covid-19 pandemic.
Coroner Alexandra Cunninghame said Kilgour returned to New York in 2022 but his marriage ended and he found himself alone and homeless.
Kilgour moved back to New Zealand, a decision his psychiatrist described as separating him from his family, work and social connections.
He spoke to a GP about his adjustment struggles, including living away from his son, a sense of cultural dislocation and lack of money, while friends grew concerned about his low mood, drinking and talk of ending his life.
Kilgour was admitted to Christchurch's Burwood Hospital in April, then discharged in May.
He was re-admitted to four days later, having told a community mental health nurse his mental state was deteriorating and he was feeling overwhelmed by the challenges of starting life over in New Zealand.
During his second hospital stay, Kilgour tried to abscond and was placed under compulsory patient status, before showing signs of improvement.
Coroner Cunninghame said Kilgour used Burwood Hospital as a base from which to establish himself in the community and began painting again.
His medication was reduced and in meetings with clinical staff Kilgour was not considered to be clinically depressed.
On 26 November Kilgour was granted overnight leave to stay with his partner, having passed a mental health assessment by nursing staff.
The following day his partner dropped him in town on her way to work, where he said he would catch a bus back to the hospital.
Kilgour was last seen that afternoon on CCTV, shopping at a Countdown supermarket.
Coroner Cunninghame said Kilgour should be remembered as the gifted artist he was, not who he may have become.
"The Clean was famous and influential within indie rock circles all over the world.
"I have read many obituaries and articles about Mr Kilgour's contribution to music, and I cannot do justice to his memory in these findings as well as other writers have done," she said.
The Clean was described as one of the most influential bands to come from the Flying Nun label when it was inducted into the NZ Music Hall of Fame in 2017.
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