'I didn't feel valuable' - life in the slipstream for Nic Hamilton

BBC News

5 days ago

Nic Hamilton sat in his dark, messy apartment on the phone to Samaritans. It was his lowest point.In 2016 the racing driver was out of the sport and a recovering gambling addict."I didn't feel valuable," he told the BBC's Sport's Greatest Underdogs podcast."I wasn't racing and I wasn't getting sponsorship. My dad is a multi-millionaire, my brother is a multi-millionaire and they are going on this upward trajectory."I felt very lost and lonely and I just stumbled across gambling."Nic is the younger brother of a British sporting icon - Lewis Hamilton. The Formula One driver has won a joint-record seven World Championships.The brothers were guided towards a career in motorsport from an early age, with the main focus on Lewis."The first category in motorsport when Lewis was a kid was 'cadet karts' for ages eight to 10," Nic recalled."We had a cheap third hand go-kart, we had no money and we were in a Vauxhall Cavalier. The go-kart was hanging out of the boot with my Mum [Linda Hamilton] holding onto it," he added."We had a gas heater and chicken noodle soup was all we could afford, we put everything into Lewis' racing."
'I disappeared down a six-foot drop'
Hamilton has cerebral palsy, external - a group of lifelong conditions that affect movement and co-ordination and which is caused by a problem with the brain that develops before, during or soon after birth - so that makes his success as a racing driver even more remarkable. He currently competes in British Touring Cars with the Un-Limited Motorsport team, becoming the series' first disabled driver in 2015.The 33-year-old began his motorsport career in the Renault Clio Cup in 2011, cutting his teeth whizzing around UK circuits which included Silverstone, where brother Lewis has won a record nine times in F1.Nic said it was dad Anthony's idea for him to follow in his big brother's tyre marks."My dad was like 'maybe we should just give it a go and see'," he said. "With my cerebral palsy I'm really hyper-sensitive to noise like loud or sudden bangs, they make me jump."So when they used to start the engine up for Lewis it used to scare me."It was in a car park where Nic first got behind the wheel of a kart, despite his nerves."I remember the anxiety I felt inside but excitement as well. I was wearing all Lewis' race kit," he added."I ended up crashing that go-kart, I hit a kerb and I disappeared down a six-foot drop."The world of virtual racing gave Nic the experience and confidence to think about a career in the sport. It is a path followed by current F1 world champion Max Verstappen - the Dutchman has his own sim racing team.Nic got used to controlling karts and fell in love with driving at speed. In 2011, three years after Lewis had won his first F1 world championship, Nic made it to the Clio Cup grid. It was at one of the most famous circuits in Europe, Brands Hatch, in Kent."It was amazing, I qualified last, which I expected," he said. "I was the only disabled person on the grid, everyone else was able-bodied."I was actually closer than I ever expected. I'd never driven at Brands Hatch before, never driven this car before."Lewis was there and I love him being there, but it's hard as it brings even more attention than I already have."In that first season, Nic finished 14th overall out of 27 competitors.
'Lewis isn't going to be impressed by that'
Nic was a bonafide professional motorsport competitor, but not emulating his brother's incredible achievements on tracks around the globe.After a serious crash in testing for his third-ever race at Thruxton, he was knocked unconscious after his car "catapulted"."I'm riddled with fear and in a very lonely place because I landed on my side and you never expect to be laying like that in a car," he said."The first thing I heard is a marshal saying 'Lewis isn't going to be impressed by that', straight away."It's the worst thing anyone could say at any moment in my life."That's the problem I've had being Lewis' brother, people really don't understand - they don't get it."They panic and don't know what to say to me and it can be the most disrespectful thing. I have to just take it on the chin."After that crash, Nic jumped back in the car the next day but his parents were concerned about him continuing in the sport."My mum was crying her eyes out and my dad shows fear through anger," Nic said. "He was like 'I told you, don't make mistakes, don't crash'. Then the media picked it up, so it was the biggest thing."The only person who wasn't angry and understood it was Lewis, because he'd been there."Following another year in the Clio Cup series he moved to the European Touring Car Cup. While competing for the Baporo Motorsport team, he finished the championship in last place.
'I was gambling all night'
The move to British Touring Cars in 2015 should have been the start of good times for Nic, but it led him to the dark days.After a year he had lost his seat in the series and hit rock-bottom. He became a gambling addict."I was in the darkest space between 2016 and 2017," he recalled."I ended up telling my mum and then she brought my dad over and they reacted in the most decent and kind way."I'm a huge 'mummy's boy' and it was her who was like 'right Nic, we're going to put some structure in your life'. "I was in such a hole, my apartment was a tip and I was eating Pot Noodles because that's all I could afford. I could just gamble and eat."I was literally gambling all night to 6am, then waking up and doing it again."Nic said he stopped gambling when he had no money left and his mum had taken control of his bank account.He was on the road back. Trips to the gym to work on his strength and cardio inspired him to return to motorsport.In 2019, he got a drive in Touring Cars with the Alliance Racing team. The comeback was completely funded by sponsorship deals that he had generated.His best result came in the 2023 season while driving for the Tony Gilham Racing team. Hamilton managed a sixth-placed finish in the second race of the campaign at Donnington Park.This season he is currently 27th in the standings with three rounds at Croft coming up on 2 and 3 August.Nic describes himself as a "Paralympian at the Olympics". He may never win a championship but his biggest achievement will be inspiring others.Future disabled motorsport stars can look to him and forge their own route to starting grids around the world.Listen to the Greatest Underdogs podcast here., externalIf you have been affected by any of the issues in this article you can visit the BBC's Action Line for information and support.