With no access to education beyond the 6th grade, girls in Afghanistan turn to religious schools
When the next school year starts, she will be enrolling in a madrassa, a religious school, to learn about the Quran and Islam — and little else.
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an hour ago
- Yahoo
Coping in the middle: Inside the lives of informal caregivers balancing reality with emotional and financial strain
KUALA LUMPUR, July 24 — The term 'sandwich generation' refers to a group of middle-aged adults who are simultaneously caring for their own children and their ageing parents. They are essentially caught – or 'sandwiched' – between the responsibilities of supporting two different generations, including providing physical, emotional, and financial support. In Malaysia, most caregivers are informal or family members and according to the Department of Statistic Malaysia (DoSM) Labour Force Survey in February 2024, there are 7.23 million persons recorded as being outside the labour force, with the main reason being housework or family responsibilities. Keep in mind that there are also working individuals who take on a 'second shift' as caregivers after their regular working hours. Malay Mail has reached out to several caregivers, including those with special needs children, to share some of their experiences in providing care for their loved ones. A caregiver's journey Liew Chooi Mei is a mother of two children and has been an active volunteer for counselling NGO, Life Line Association Malaysia (LLAM), since 2014. Her mother, who had dementia, passed away in the same year she began volunteering at LLAM, just 14 years after her late father, who died of cancer. Both parents were cared for by Liew and her two siblings, who took turns caring for them. Liew admitted that her experience caring for her late mother was not a pleasant one and left her with regrets. This was partly due to her mother's worsening condition at the time, which eventually pushed Liew to her limits – leading to moments where she accidentally scolded her mother and even took to harming herself. 'Because we were not trained caregivers and we also get overwhelmed by our emotions. I thought I was good enough to take care of her because I used to work as a kindergarten teacher where I would normally take care of up to 30 children in a class sometimes. 'So I thought I had the patience but when dealing with my mom, especially after the hurtful things she said and the way she treated me – my patience just left me. 'Eventually I understood that was the dementia talking and she was not her true self, it changed her to a totally different person,' Liew said. During her caregiving journey, Liew mentioned that the counselling at LLAM has helped her a lot, especially in sharing her troubles. She felt luckier than others because she had a space to express herself and unload her emotional baggage while caring for her mother. She is now serving as the division leader for LLAM's public awareness programmes, continuing her mission to help caregivers provide quality and empathetic care through her numerous talks and seminars. She also shared a few pointers for caregivers: Let them talk and listen to what they have to say – Some might have something important to say, so it's important to lend them your ear While medication is one thing, taking the people you care about to some leisure activities could help lighten their mood Only a healthy caregiver can provide quality care – It is important for caregivers to take care of themselves first before taking care of others Caregivers may be limited by resources, so don't judge whether your actions are right or wrong – Your limits may hold you from giving your best to your family Getting respite care or sending your parents to daycare does not mean you've failed as a caregiver – It's okay to get some assistance Fulfilling yet demanding work Nurain Saiful Ahmad, 39, currently works at the Ministry of Foreign Affairs in Putrajaya as an administrative and diplomatic officer. She is also a mother of two children, aged 12 and 14. In addition, she and her five siblings are caring for their parents. Her father, 69, has diabetes, high cholesterol, and hypertension, while her mother, 64, suffers from the same three illnesses and was diagnosed with bipolar disorder at the age of 32. Nurain Saiful Ahmad (third from right) with her family. — Picture courtesy of Nurain Saiful Ahmad In 2021, her mother's condition worsened after being diagnosed with Parkinson's disease, which left her wheelchair-bound and in need of close monitoring. Both of Nurain's parents are staying with her elder sister in Lenggeng, Negeri Sembilan and she would normally visit them twice a month. Although her elder sister is the primary caregiver, Nurain and her other siblings take turns visiting and caring for their parents, especially during Hari Raya or whenever their elder sister is unavailable or in need of a break. Nurain, who considers herself to be in a better financial position compared to her other siblings, spends around RM1,500 monthly on her parents' needs, including the monthly car loan payment for her father's vehicle, adult diapers, insulin needles, and more. She added that she volunteers her financial support because she doesn't want to burden her other siblings, especially the younger ones – her brother recently got married in May, while her youngest sister is still in the process of becoming financially independent. However, for more expensive medical needs and equipment, they usually divide the cost among themselves. 'I love taking care of both my parents and my children and at the same time, I am teaching my children to be independent which has been very helpful for both my husband and I. 'I feel like it's an honour to be able to provide basic needs to others and you know this is what you signed up for when you decide to get married and have children while your parents are ageing. 'I have never regretted this and I will continue to care for them for as long as I breathe. In fact, I even plan to volunteer at hospitals when I retire because I love taking care of sick people and I believe that you are at your most vulnerable state when you're sick and whatever help or assistance that you can get, would really support you to get through those difficult times,' Nurain said. When it comes to juggling her time between work, caring for her children, and looking after her parents, Nurain and her husband practice effective communication. For example, if she is too tired, her husband steps in for the rest of the day, and she returns the favour by covering for him the next day. Both Nurain and her husband utilise the calendar app on their phones – even to schedule 10 minutes of 'pillow talk', because they understand that even a short time together can make a big difference. Although her time is limited by her commitments, Nurain still manages to allocate some 'me time' for herself, whether it's taking a long nap, going for a walk in the park, or simply sitting in her reading chair at home. Her go-to activities also include playing badminton every Tuesday and karaoke, which she can easily do during her drive to work. Bittersweet acceptance Cason Ong Tzse Chun is 56 years old this year and is caring for his two special needs children with his wife, while also looking after his parents and an uncle. His daughter, 28, was diagnosed with developmental delay, while his son, 27, has autism. Cason Ong Tzse Chun and his family. — Picture courtesy of Cason Ong Tzse Chun Ong officially retired from his family's paper roll supply business in 2019 to spend more time with his children. He and his wife now run a small-scale homemade food business together to make ends meet. He is also active in volunteering with various organisations including serving as the National Autism Society Malaysia (Nasom) honorary secretary and Kiwanis Club Petaling Jaya's president. Speaking to Malay Mail, Ong said that his sister can be considered the primary caregiver for their parents, as they live closer to each other. However, Ong often takes turns with her to bring their parents to their medical appointments. Ong also takes care of his uncle, who previously lived alone but is now in a nursing home – a favour for his aunt, who is currently living in Singapore. Compared to what he has been through in the past, Ong describes his life as relatively smoother now. He recalled that he and his wife were expecting again a few years after their son was born. However, they made the decision to abort out of fear that their newborn wouldn't be able to live a quality life. 'You see, I already have two children with special needs, and let's say the third one came out normal – don't you think his or her life would be more stressful, having to take care of their brother and sister? The child would have no life,' he said. Sharing more about his children, Ong said that his son is currently working two part-time jobs, one of which is at a local speech therapy office in Puchong. He works as a general worker every Tuesday and Thursday from 9am to 5pm. For the rest of the weekdays, he would work as a part timer at a restaurant which is owned by Ong's friend for about five hours per day. He also takes his daughter to the Lovely Disabled Home in Petaling Jaya on weekdays. The home is an NGO that provides job opportunities to physically and mentally challenged individuals aged 18 and above. The reason Ong encourages his children to work is not only to teach them how to earn a living and be independent, but also to help them adapt to the working environment. He sees it as valuable training, especially for his daughter, who has difficulty with fine motor skills. Patience and perseverance Caregiving is not just demanding work; it also requires a lot of patience, empathy, and, most of all, perseverance. It continues until the end. This is how 69-year-old Dorothy George Dass described her journey in raising her now 24-year-old son, Abraham Isaac Pereira, who was diagnosed with autism when he was six years old. Abraham Isaac Pereira (centre) together with his mother Dorothy George Dass (left) and his sister Denise Frances. — Picture by Hari Anggara Despite being on the autism spectrum, Abraham holds a diploma in Automotive Engineering and is currently working as a mechanic, with a lifelong dream of working for an F1 team in the future. This all did not happen overnight, Dorothy shared. It required a lot of repetitive work and hours of behavioural therapies which they managed to get at Nasom. 'There were a lot of frustrations in teaching, there's a lot of repetitive work. 'We couldn't just leave what we've learned from the teachers and therapies at the centre, we have to bring it home and continue it. 'We just have to keep repeating ourselves until he gets it right,' Dorothy said. Dorothy, who works as a senior operations admin at a local vending machine supplier company, added that she is grateful to have had employers who were very understanding of her situation. This was especially true when she had to go back and forth between dropping her son off at school and being present at some of his therapies and activities at Nasom, including choir classes and performances. * If you are lonely, distressed, or having negative thoughts, Befrienders offers free and confidential support 24 hours a day. A full list of Befrienders contact numbers and state operating hours is available here: There are also free hotlines for young people: Talian Kasih at 15999 (24/7); Talian BuddyBear at 1800-18-2327(BEAR)(daily 12pm-12am); Mental Health Psychosocial Support Service (03-2935 9935 or 014-322 3392); Life Line Association Malaysia helpline at 15995 and Jakim's Family, Social and Community Care Centre (WhatsApp 0111-959 8214).
Yahoo
12 hours ago
- Yahoo
Buffalo's head pops out of river and stuns onlooker
This is the surprising moment a buffalo suddenly popped its head out of a calm river, catching an onlooker off guard. A video filmed on July 18 in Henan, China, the shows the buffalo emerging from beneath the water.
Yahoo
15 hours ago
- Yahoo
"It's Bizarre And Difficult To Explain": Millennials Are Sharing The Exact Moment They Experienced "The Shift"
Aging is supposed to be a slow, gradual thing, not something that hits you like a truck. But for many of us, there's one moment in particular when time suddenly feels like it speeds up. It's not about gray hairs or sore knees (though, yeah, those might show up too), but more about a shift in how you see yourself and your place in the world. When u/AtG8605 asked others to share the moment they felt the Shift — that point when you stop feeling young and realize you've officially moved into a new stage of life — the responses were both hilarious and deeply relatable. Here's what people said: 1."For me, it happened around three years ago after I hit 35. Not exactly overnight, but it happened a lot more suddenly than I would have expected. If I had to pin it down to one moment, it would have to be a doctor's appointment I went to in 2022. I was a new patient at this particular office. The doctor walked into the room. I took one look at him and thought, OK, this guy looks really young. Must be a medical assistant or intern or something. Nope. He was my doctor. Through casual conversation, I would come to find out that he was 33 years doctor was two years younger than me. From there, it was like an ever-evolving perspective shift. I'd be watching the local news and realize how incredibly young everyone looked — the reporters, the meteorologists, etc. I started noticing how young the faces looked on billboards for local attorneys and realtors." "It's so bizarre and difficult to explain. Logically, I know that people younger than me can be in all of these professions, but my brain just can't seem to grasp the jarring reality that the cohort of 'grown-ups' now includes people who seem so young to me." —u/AtG8605 2."For me, it was one event. I work as a firefighter. We got a new batch of recruits in, in their early 20s, doing some on-the-job training, and one of them says, 'You know, I remember you. You came to my school for career day in fourth grade!' I felt my body disassemble itself. I looked in the mirror later and just realized that I was older." —u/grim_wizard 3."Remember those old people who used to come hang out every once in a while with your mom and dad? That's you. It's amazing how I used to associate those old people with tight pants that go all the way up to their belly — and I'm wearing that stuff now, and the kids are wearing baggy stuff again." —u/XOM_CVX 4."Older millennial. I had this realization, but the good version. My parents' friends seemed much cooler than my parents because many lived in a nearby city and worked as researchers or university professors. My parents were hippies who chose to live in the middle of nowhere as broke farmers, and these people were sort of their counterparts who had money and regular jobs. We'd go visit some of them in town, and I just loved their lives. One day, when I was 40, as I was riding to my engineering job on my road bike, dressed like an absolute weirdo, I realized that I had become exactly like my parents' friends, whom I thought were cool, right down to the nerdy job and the road bike. Never been happier with any realization." —u/whatsmyname81 5."I told my coworker a document was written in 1995, and she said she wasn't even born yet. A piece of my soul died." —u/Special-Summer170 6."I'm working with people now who don't remember 9/11 because they were infants or not born yet. I hate having to stop and think if the people I'm talking to will have enough context to understand what I'm about to say before I say everything." —u/sasquatch_melee 7."I am a former professor, and it was the transition from students not being alive for Clinton's presidency to not being alive for 9/11 that really did me in. My pop culture references also all died on arrival." —u/Outrageous_Cod_8961 8."I was at the ophthalmologist's and realized that my doctor — who was clearly older than me, given his smile lines and the white hairs in his beard — was exactly my age. We went to the same university and started and graduated in the same years. No, he was not a 'later in life' student. I'm just at the age where a peer has been a whole-ass doctor for 10-plus years." —u/Kmille17 9."I went back home to visit family. While there, I went to a store and saw a middle-aged lady struggling to reach something on a shelf. I went to help her, made eye contact, and realized this 'older' lady was someone that I went to school with — and who was a year younger than me. That messed up my brain for a bit." —u/Panama_Scoot 10."When professional sports players started to get younger than me. 'A 20-year-old kid playing professional hockey,' I told my husband, 'is an actual child, not a grown-up.'" —u/buttonhumper 11."The median age in the United States is 38.7 years, so once you pass that point, you are literally older than most people." —u/onemanutopia 12."An old high school classmate was my doctor and Trader Joe's was playing Korn." —u/misfitx 13."I'm 35 and just had this realization. I realized that my coworker — whom I perceived to be a kid — is 25 and a full-blown adult. I'm more adultier adult. Wild times." —u/rando_bowner 14."I'm 38, and my husband is 39. A few weeks ago, he commented that cops have gotten so much younger, and I had to correct him. They're starting at the same age they always did — we're just older. I pushed my husband into the shift, but I think it was time." —u/Complex_Priority4983 15."I just hit 40, and it's been about four years, probably. Working in an environment where I routinely see grandmothers in their mid-to-late 30s will do that to you. Especially since we don't have our own children, it's an extra mindfuck." —u/JennaLS 16."Sports will help with that. The players you grew up watching have retired and become managers or pundits. Players who made their debut when you were a teenager are now retiring. New wunderkinds are starting, and you were a teenager when they were born, etc." —u/pajamakitten 17."Someone asked if the baby in the photo on my desk was my grandbaby. Reader, it was my baby. My first baby. My four-month-old baby." —u/cafe-aulait 18."30. It suddenly occurred to me the other day that I'm no longer an excellent judge of ages. Anyone younger than 30 might as well be 12. Anyone older than 30 could be any age — I have no idea." —u/electricsnowflake 19."It was probably right after COVID happened, when I was 31. I live in New York City. I just started noticing that the people hanging out at all the trendy spots were no longer just millennials. But honestly, I think it would have taken me longer to notice if the media didn't all of a sudden start talking about Gen Z. I'm waiting for the second shift when Gen Alpha comes up in five years." —u/Mediocre-Theory3151 20."I was watching the first season of That '70s Show and couldn't believe how young Jackie looked. All of the sex jokes with her just felt icky. She looked like a child. I don't remember ever having those thoughts when I watched the show in high school." —u/Whirlywynd 21."For me, it was maybe a few years back. I noticed newer artists I was listening to were really young. Like, Olivia Rodrigo is 22. When I was 22, that was a normal age for a pop star to me, but now I just think she's so young." —u/DaisyFart 22."Yep. I'm 37. I work with several engineers who are a decade younger than me. The most important person in my facility — who makes many of the big decisions — is a decade younger than me. I have also heard Nirvana on the local classic rock station." —u/Deivi_tTerra 23."1988 millennial. I hate it when kids talk about the past. 'That happened in 2018, that was so long ago.' To me, it only seems like a couple of years ago. Then I realize that seven years is half their lifetime." —u/Optimassacre 24."I'm 40 years old and work for the VA. When we see patients who were born when I was in high school, it blows my mind. 'What do you mean, you're a veteran? You shouldn't even be old enough to drive.'" —u/KixStar 25."I'm a teacher. Around COVID, I just couldn't relate to the kids anymore. It started with quoting lyrics and movies that no one understood. Also, most of them have never seen Endgame? One time, on a field trip, I dressed casually, and they said I looked like their aunt at a barbecue. I mean, I'm adjusting, but damn, it's obvious these are a different sort of people. Also, when they started wearing socks with sandals, I was appalled. That was a major fashion faux pas. Literally 80 percent of kids wear that stuff — or they wear genuine cowboy boots. How the hell are we not wearing sneakers? What's wrong with sneakers!?" —u/OctopusUniverse 26."I went to hang out with my cousin and her kids for the weekend. The clock struck 9, and the kids went to bed. The house was quiet. We drank wine and talked shit for a while, shooing one or two of them back to bed when they tried to sneak out and stay up late. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I was the mysterious adult doing super fun and mysterious things after kids' bedtime." —u/NOT_Pam_Beesley Have you experienced your own version of the Shift? What moment made you realize you'd crossed that invisible line? Share your story in the comments below! Note: Responses have been edited for length/clarity. Solve the daily Crossword
