Miss Manners: Please only operate on your own pizza

Washington Post

2 days ago

Dear Miss Manners: I work with a woman with whom I have a friendly, professional relationship. We are often in shared-food settings together, such as office lunches or happy hours with appetizers.
She adheres to a no-carb diet, but is quite gracious about encouraging others to order or bring whatever they'd like, saying that she'll 'make it work.'
My qualm is that when she needs to modify a food, such as only eating the cheese from a pizza, she will execute the modification on the shared dish, rather than taking a slice of pizza and carving it up on her own plate. The crust carcass remains on the serving plate.
Is this strange? Is there a polite way to encourage her to perform pizza surgery on her own plate?
'Here, Taylor, why don't you take your piece first.'
Dear Miss Manners: I own a small retail gift shop. I offer my clientele traditional gift certificates, printed on card stock, that have the recipient's name, the sender's name and the gift amount, all handwritten by myself.
For the past several years, a gentleman from the West Coast has called and purchased a gift certificate for his sister who lives here locally. It's a considerable amount each year.
She came in once and requested a handblown glass item that was out of stock. I have since had them restocked, but she hasn't returned.
I keep detailed notes of each gift certificate sold and redeemed. This past year, when the brother called, I didn't mention to him that his sister hasn't been redeeming the certificates. I thought it gauche. But I did send a polite note with her next gift, telling her that the item she was looking for is now back in stock. I included our store hours, and wrote that we look forward to seeing her again.
It's been six months and she has not shown up, and she has several gift certificates now. They never expire and will always be honored; that's not the problem. I honestly feel in a quandary about receiving money for products that are not being purchased.
The brother presumably doesn't know she isn't redeeming his gift certificates, but I don't know if saying something to him is the polite thing to do.
Should I say something the next time he calls, or stay quiet?
'I hope that your sister is well. I haven't seen her in the shop in a while, and I was concerned. I would love her to enjoy the things that you are kind enough to facilitate her buying.'
This is a gentle way to alert him to the certificate situation, while legitimately veiling it under the more polite guise that your concern is really about her health.
Miss Manners will add that it also saves both of you the embarrassment — if it gets back to her — of ratting her out if her taste in shops has changed.
New Miss Manners columns are posted Monday through Saturday on washingtonpost.com/advice. You can send questions to Miss Manners at her website, missmanners.com. You can also follow her @RealMissManners.
© 2025 Judith Martin