Unflinching story of a Falkirk title triumph from delivery gaffes, party plan KO & anniversary at risk
Back-to-back titles ... an end to 15 years of confinement in the lower leagues ... and saving their chief exec's wedding anniversary.
Falkirk's squad checked off a lengthy list on the first Friday night of May to leave Jamie Swinney compiling another come the Tuesday.
His in-tray as a Premiership CEO does not care for the details of how this came to pass but details matter.
Like the gold embroidery on the players' strips when they re-emerged to lift their trophy.
Those, of course, had to be ordered four weeks before winning the league, a feat that swung from certainty into the balance on the final night.
Nothing worth having comes hassle-free as Swinney said: 'Before they had even arrived, a Livingston fan took a photo of a DPD delivery that says 'Falkirk FC Champions Kit, Jamie Swinney' and it's been put on a Livingston fans' Facebook page.
'That's then been sent on to me and I'm saying: 'Oh my God, the last thing I needed was a Livingston DPD driver to pick up this box.''
There was the 'end of season party' at the Maniqui nightclub which, given tickets had to go on sale while the Bairns' bottle was being questioned, became an 'end of season event'.
Before that was a spread
at the Inchyra for 250 that necessitated a commitment in advance. 'Nobody would have turned up,' said Swinney if there had been a Friday flop. 'I wouldn't even have been able to bring myself to go.'
Then, come half-time of a decider with Hamilton still dangling at 1-1, Scott Arfield produced two blown-up photos for the dressing-room wall – one of Ibiza, the other a sodden Falkirk Stadium.
'He had a good chat to them, 'Where do you want to be on Monday guys?'' said Swinney. 'I love Falkirk as a town but I know what I'm picking.'
From losing at Firhill in the 97th minute to trigger a title jangler – 'I was considering walking home from Glasgow to get my head right' – to the 'greatest night in the stadium' in its 21-year history.
The club tumbled out of the Championship – sparking a five-year absence – the day he wed fellow Bairn Natalie in 2019.
Invincible League One success ensued on their anniversary last year.
'This year it was two days before our sixth anniversary,' he said.
'I'm so glad we got the job done because I would have been a very depressing person to be around come Sunday – Natalie wouldn't have been much better.'
And yet, no sooner had one party started than another had to be prepared for. Come the Tuesday he was at a table with boss John McGlynn and No.2 Paul Smith finalising the football budget. Memories to last a lifetime ... a few days to revel in them.
'All things being equal, we started the season probably with a sixth or seventh-placed budget in the Championship,' added Swinney.
'I know that with a pretty high level of confidence because you speak privately with other chief executives and chairmen.
'I know for a fact there were four or five teams with budgets ahead of us. So to go from that to a competitive Premiership budget, it's safe to say we're talking about more than doubling it.'
Throwing money around as a fan-owned club isn't an option but he said: 'We will make sure John has every chance to compete.
'It's hard to put an exact position on where you want to finish – you'd love to just survive – but I think we're actually good enough, with the squad we've got plus the recruitment we do, to be better than just a survival team.'
VAR – 'one part of the Premiership I can safely say I don't look forward to because it kills the game' – has been found a space while a safe standing section is an installation Swinney is more enthusiastic on.
'We started the relationship with the ultras two years ago as a three-game trial and got bombarded with negativity from our own fans, saying, 'Don't bring a drum in, don't do this,'' added the 38-year-old.
'Fast forward two years, ultras are one of the best things we've ever done and we now want to give them their place properly, which is give them a safe standing section. Longer-term, with a four-sided stadium, we'll probably consider some more safe standing on the fourth side as well.'
That almost 4500 season tickets are already sold – Swinney's mum has even bought her first – suggests longer-term may not be all that long.
The first day of sales last year saw 750 sold – this year it was 1800.
Amid relentless bickering over away allocations in the top flight, the message remains the same irrespective of which club is pitching up at Falkirk's place.
'They might only get half a stand (about a thousand seats),' said Swinney as he predicts racing through 5000 season tickets in a stadium with around 7800 capacity.
'Our priority has to be our fans and our season tickets are the most affordable in the Premiership. Our gate prices are the most affordable – our fans and away fans will pay less at the Falkirk Stadium than any other ground in the Premiership.
'Our priority has to be fan growth. Our under-12s are still going free.
'Last year we had 650-odd free under-12 season tickets. This year it will be 700-800 and that's the future of the football club.
'We will need to keep at least 500 tickets available for walk-ups.
'If families who are moving into the area think, 'We'll go to the Falkirk Stadium' but can't get a ticket, they're never going to become Falkirk fans.'
The day after silverware was secured was spent circling the local boozers with those mates he went to games with before slipping into the shirt and tie four years ago.
'You have to behave in a certain way and enjoy the privilege of being chief executive of Falkirk in different boardrooms... but that Saturday I was just a fan,' said Swinney.
And from the brink of oblivion when he'd barely had time to unpack his office to posting a profit for the season just past, his mantra isn't for changing: 'Don't put the club at risk.
'We had two years, up to last year, when it was very close.
'In February, both in 2022 and 2023, we were going to run out of money, not be able to pay wages and have to put the club into administration.
'One year, the Falkirk Supporters' Society and the patrons bailed the money out and bought the club over as a fan-owned club. The second year, we got a Scottish Cup semi-final.
'If either of those things didn't happen, this club would have run out of money and not been able to pay its salaries in February and March. We can never allow that again.'
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