How to protect your pikin against sexual abuse dis holidays according to sabi pipo

BBC News

4 days ago

As school children don begin dia long holidays, many parents and guardian dey scratch head on how dem go handle all di pikin wey dey house.
Some don begin plan activities wey go engage di children, like holiday lessons, language classes and oda skills acquisition programmes but gender rights activist say as parents and guardians dey plan for dis holiday make dem also plan how to protect dem against sexual abuse.
According to Tombari Dumka Kote, di coordinator of di Rivers State Response Team on Violence against Women and Children, from dia records and recent statistics, na during holiday period many small children dey fall victim to sexual abuse, defilement and rape.
"We don observe say most patents during di holiday period dey lose guard and pay less attention to dia children as dem dey leave dem to di mercy of maids for house.
"During holiday, di children dey house with di perpetrators of dis abuse wey usually be pesin wey dey close and familiar wit dem. So more often, such violators dey get a field day with such children wey dia parents no dey watchful," she tok.
Dr Emem Okon, di executive director of Kebetkache Women Development and Resource Centre, add say children always dey vulnerable to abuse weda dem dey for house, for school or for public places, particularly among pipo dem know becos most times na pipo wey dem already know and trust na dem dey take advantage of dia innocence.
Wit dis holiday period, children go spend more time for house or get outings and holiday travels so e dey important for parents and guardians to dey extra vigilant wit dia children.
10 tips parents/guardians fit take to prevent possible sexual violation
Some tips dis gender rights advocates give wey parents and guardians fit adopt to protect dia children against sexual violation include:
1. Awareness: E dey important for parents and guardians to dey aware of di fact say children dey vulnerable to sexual violations especially during dis holiday period. Dis awareness go make dem to dey watchful and put eye for dia pikin dem. Be on alert.
2. Properly screen caregivers wey dey take care of di children. Do background checks on di house help wey you engage. Also ask questions about di pipo wey dey manage di holiday lessons and activities wey you want your children to participate in. Ask wetin dem put in place to protect di children against such violations.
3. Get good and open communication with your children. Allow your children to communicate wit you freely so dem fit discuss anytin wit you wey dey happen around dem. Listen to di children wen dem dey tok to you so you fit pick signals wey dem dey give too.
4. Give di children proper sex education. Tell dem di areas for dia bodi wey anoda pesin no fit touch and encourage dem to report to you wen pesin touch dem inappropriately. Wen you educate dem right, you don empower dem against sexual abuse.
5. Guide wia your children dey go. Say na holiday period no mean say na evriwia dem wan go you go allow dem go. No be must say dem gatz visit any relative, try spend time and interact wit dem too.
6. Monitor di online or digital activities of your children for dia smart devices. Dis go protect dem against online exposure and abuse and sextortion from online perpetrators.
7. Organisers of holiday activities also suppose profile di pipo dem dey engage to care for di children. You fit get good mind but di pipo you engage fit no get same mind wit you - so monitor and closely supervise how dem dey engage wit di children.
8. Make di children know di names of dia parents/guardians apart from Mummy and Daddy. Make dem also know di names of di teachers/facilitators wey dey teach dem. Make dem also know dia house address too.
9. Teach dem not to accept gifts from strangers, even from pipo dem know. If dem take, teach dem not to use dat tin until dem don show Mummy or Daddy. Dis go guard against grooming so dem no go dey easily lured by di gifts from potential violators.
10. Encourage dem to report any case of bullying. Make dem no feel shy to report anybodi wey bully dem weda na pikin like dem or na adult.
Signs to watch out for in case of abuse
In as much as e good to take steps to prevent such violation make e no happen, Dr. Emem Okon say e also good make parents also know wetin to look out for in case sexual abuse don happen and dis include:
1. Withdrawal: Wen you notice say di pikin no be im or her normal sef, e don dey withdraw, e dey unusually quiet and no dey express demsef di way dem normally dey do, e good to probe and try to find out wetin don happen to make dem behave so.
2. Observe how di children dey react to each pesin for house and even for di holiday programme so you go notice wen dia behaviour change. Note if dem dey fear or dey avoid any pesin, and try to find out why.
3. Listen to wetin di children dey tok about di pipo around dem.
4. Check di bodi of small children especially wen dem dey baff to know wetin dey normal and wetin dey off.
Wetin to do in case sexual abuse happen?
In di event say di pikin don dey violated, Dr. Okon advise say e no good to shout in front of di pikin or blame di pikin as dat wan go add to di trauma of di pikin.
"Put di blame on di violator, not di pikin. But most times out of anger, di parents or guardians go shout on and even beat di pikin. Dat one dey add to di shock and trauma wey di pikin already dey suffer.
E good to handle am wit wisdom and get a professional becos dis na delicate issue wey fit affect dat pikin throughout im or her lifetime." She tok.
Both Tombari Dumka Kote and Dr. Emem Okon advise di following steps:
1. Report to hospital for medical care of di victim to avoid any complications, issues of unwanted pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.
2. Proper therapy/counselling for di pikin and di parents/guardians dey important on wetin don happen and how dem fit come out of am.
3. Report perpetrators to di police, state response teams on sexual abuse, (as many states don establish such teams) like di Rivers State Response Team hotlines wey also dey available and pipo fit come report for dia offices; ministry of social welfare and rehabilitation, ministry of women affairs as well as NGOs and security agencies like di NSCDC [Nigeria Security and Civil Defence Corps] and NAPTIP [National Agency for the Prohibition of Trafficking in Persons]. Dem go follow up and arrest di perpetrators.
Di gender rights advocates emphasise say na di responsibility of evribodi wey dey wia such incident happen to make sure say dem report to relevant authorities to take di right action to protect di pikin and bring di perpetrators to justice, so oda children no go fall victim in future.
But dem maintain say prevention beta pass cure, so make parents and guardians shine dia eyes during dis holiday period.